


Ua ākea ka honua (The world is wide)

by kinderjedi, sullacat



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:13:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 66,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26093185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinderjedi/pseuds/kinderjedi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sullacat/pseuds/sullacat
Summary: Steve's quest for peace becomes a soul-searching road trip across the United States, with visits to old friends, family, and the occasional tourist spot, all with the specter of coronavirus looming in the rear-view mirror. Ultimately, Steve finds that the peace he's looking for is not a place, but a person. But is it too late?
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 43
Kudos: 130
Collections: H50 Big Bang 2020





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2020 H50 Big Bang. 
> 
> Art is by the amazing [StarlingBite](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/starlingbite). <3

Ua ākea ka honua (The world is wide)

Prologue

He very nearly got off the plane. Right there, in Honolulu.

Steve didn’t generally think of himself as indecisive or impulsive. He’d had too much training, too many years of having to analyze his choices and make split second decisions. And yet despite all that, the past week had been agonizing as he’d waffled back and forth in his mind. Go or stay. Go now, or wait for the dust to settle. Everything was a choice, and all of the choices hurt. In the end, though, it was something Danny had said when Steve had finally begun to explain the sleeplessness and the pacing and the general state he’d been spiraling into for the past year. But mostly since watching Doris die. Danny had said he could understand needing a break after all that, needing to clear his head. Not in those exact words, maybe, but the general sentiment was there.

Leaving, it turned out, hurt like hell. But at least he was leaving with the memory of Danny on their beach in his mind. Whole and healthy—or getting there. _Alive._ Happy? Not close to it. No, Danny had been no happier than Steve, for all Steve had tried to put on a brave face and bullshit through that goodbye. Danny had been more vocal about his feelings, as always. 

> **Miss you already.**

Steve didn’t for a minute believe it was a coincidence, Catherine being on this flight. He knew, even before his mind had quite finished snapping the puzzle pieces together, that Lincoln had called her for help with the cipher and maybe even mentioned their conversation about her. Whether she was here because of something Lincoln had said, or because she’d simply wanted to be a friend and ease the departure for him, Steve didn’t know. Or who knew, maybe he was wrong and it _was_ a coincidence. He’d been wrong a lot lately, after all.

It did help, having a familiar face next to him as the plane backed away from the gate. A hand to hold during takeoff, sure, that was nice, he supposed. Steve took it out of old habit, part of him ashamed of thinking of it that way, but in the end, holding a friend’s hand as he left home to sort out the mess his life had become was something he hadn’t realized he needed quite so badly. And if part of him wished the hand in his was a different one, the _last_ one he’d held, Steve pushed that thought back down into the compartment where he stored other such longings that he’d learned to keep to himself. But not before his imagination had conjured up an image vivid enough that it stabbed him in the gut, Danny shouldering his way down the aisle and dropping into the seat next to him, cane and all. Thrusting his bag at Steve to put in the overhead. Or maybe he wouldn’t have a bag at all, maybe he’d have just gotten one of their teammates to drive him to the airport, taken advantage of Five-0’s immunity and means for once in his life to hold the plane until he could get to the gate. To Steve.

Maybe Steve had watched _Love, Actually_ too many times.


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One

[Monday, March 9]

“Mahalo, dearie.” 

The nice, grandmotherly lady who’d sat across the aisle from Catherine was all smiles as he handed down her bag from the overhead bin. 

“Noʻu ka hauʻoli,” Steve replied with an answering smile, the words rolling easily off his tongue. How long would it be until he heard someone else speak Hawaiian again, he wondered as he watched her go up the aisle? By design, he didn’t know. He had vague ideas about catching up with Chin and Kono, maybe, but nothing concrete yet. He’d booked a one-way ticket, content to just see where he drifted to as he tried to make sense of the past year. To find that peace he’d told Danny he was looking for.

Steve shouldered his duffel and they proceeded to deplane. Catherine, it seemed, had traveled even lighter, carrying nothing but her large shoulder bag. The line of passengers wasn’t long; he’d gone to use the head a couple hours before they landed, and when he was headed back down the aisle to his seat Steve had seen that the plane was only half or two-thirds full.

Out in the terminal, he let his hand rest on Catherine’s back for a moment as they paused next to the monitor across from their gate. “Baggage claim?” His voice was raspy with fatigue.

“Nope. I left in a hurry when Lincoln called,” Catherine told him. “I was in San Diego for work and hopped on the first flight.” She somehow looked as fresh as she had when she’d walked on the plane, while Steve felt exhausted and in need of a shower and another twelve hours or so of sleep. Or maybe that was his body and mind reminding him he’d pushed himself beyond his limit these past few weeks.

Funny, he thought as they walked toward ground transportation. His limit had been much higher, not so long ago. He was forty-two. Not _that_ old, though he supposed the years of betrayal and grief and trauma had caught up with him at last. “You got to head back down there tonight, or was your business there done?” They hadn’t discussed work much on the plane, not after they filled each other in on the past week, the cipher and all the fallout it had caused. Instead, they’d fallen into conversation about people and places they knew, old friends and good times they’d shared. Steve appreciated it more than he could say. He also thought dinner, at a minimum, would be an appropriate thank you given that she’d dropped everything to help clean up his mother’s final mess. 

It would be a start, at least. 

“It’ll keep,” Catherine replied easily. “I can catch a train back down tomorrow.” She looked over at him as they neared the end of the secured area. “So, I have to ask… was this trip planned?”

Steve considered that question. “Yes. And no.” He tightened his grip on the strap of his duffel. Then he let out a tired bark of laughter. “I didn’t really get beyond booking that flight. I just… needed to clear my head, I guess. Figure some things out. Maybe try and catch up with an old friend or two.”

Catherine nodded once. “Fair enough.” She studied him for a long moment, her face unreadable. Once upon a time, he’d thought he knew her inside and out. Then she smiled. “Well, I don’t recommend sleeping in the terminal. You could call your sister; she still lives here, right?” Something on Steve’s face must’ve told Catherine he wasn’t ready for that, though. And it was true; they’d talked about him visiting, but Steve wasn’t sure he was quite ready to face that well-meant sisterly interrogation he knew was coming from Mary. “Or not. So I guess it’s an airport hotel for both of us.” When he made a face, involuntarily, she arched a brow. “Or… give me a minute. How about you go over to that newsstand and get us both a bottled water, sailor. Let me see what I can do.” She pulled out her phone and switched it on as she walked toward some chairs near a bank of windows, clearly expecting him to just go along with it.

So he did. It reminded him of how they’d been before, when they’d had leave and had traveled together. They both enjoyed traveling--the journey as much as the destination--and had always been in sync, familiar enough to know things like each other’s snack or drink preferences, he recalled as he reached into the cooler for two waters, then scanned the snacks as he stood in line at the checkout. The bag of caramel corn near the register stirred a memory, and Steve smiled as he added it to his purchases. 

When Steve handed her one of the bottles and the caramel corn a few minutes later, Catherine gave him a bright smile. “Thank you,” she said. She twisted off the cap and drank thirstily, then opened the bag and offered him a bite. “Now, come on. No airport hotel for us tonight.” She led him out the doors and into the line for a cab.

He wasn’t listening as she gave the address, too busy buckling in and then reaching for his phone to switch it back on. Steve had expected the messages from the team. He smiled a little as he saw the well wishes from Lou and the kids. Even Kamekona. The one from Duke made him take a deep breath. He’d have to reply to him. To all of them. But it was Danny’s message he opened again, those three words that had been lingering in his head since he’d read them the first time. Steve stared down at it for a moment longer, recalling that hug on the beach that morning before he began his reply. 

> **Miss you, too. Landed in LA. Give Eddie some ear scratches for me.**

He tried to ignore the dull ache in his chest as he put his phone away. 

“Everything okay?” Catherine asked. She was watching him again, with that expression he couldn’t quite identify.

Steve exhaled, shaking his head a little as if to clear it. “Yeah. Or--well, messages from home, you know. Everyone wanting to know I touched down safely.” 

“I guess it’s been a while since you took a real vacation,” Catherine said with a nod. Steve shifted in the seat to look at her more comfortably, and his hand brushed hers. She didn’t move away, so he didn’t either. “So how _is_ Danny doing, anyway?” Her expression was serious, none of the teasing from earlier. 

“He’s good,” Steve said automatically. Then he paused. “I mean, it was… it was a really close shave, this time. But the docs said he should make a full recovery.” 

Cath smiled and covered his hand, gave it a quick squeeze. “I’m glad to hear that. He’s a good friend. Though I imagine he probably doesn’t think of me that way, anymore.” Her expression turned rueful for a blink of an eye, and then she seemed to shake it off. “But tell me how you guys are doing otherwise.” 

“We’re…” Steve reached up to scratch his neck. “We’re fine. Same as we ever were.” 

“He moved in with you.” It wasn’t a question, and when Steve shot her a look, Catherine shrugged. “Lou mentioned it. How’s that going?” 

Clearly, Lou had not mentioned _why_ Danny had moved in. Steve wasn’t sure whether he was grateful for that or not. “Yeah. It’s been…” Steve dropped his hand into his lap and gave a faint huff of laughter. “It’s been good, actually,” he admitted. “I mean, Junes is a great roommate and all, of course. He was on the teams, so we don’t get in each other’s way or anything. But yeah, actually, having Danny there, it’s been nice.” He smiled despite the ache in his heart. “Even the moaning and groaning about sharing the couch with Eddie, or commandeering Junes’ room while he was away.” 

“Oh.” Something in Catherine’s tone made him look up at her again. “I thought… I guess I thought you guys had finally figured things out.” Her face was unreadable again in the mellow evening sunlight. 

The cab was slowing, the driver signaling to turn. Steve looked up to see where they were. Santa Monica, if his memory served him. He glanced at his watch and realized he hadn’t yet reset it; still afternoon in Honolulu, but it was early evening here on the West Coast. “Not sure what you mean,” he said lightly as he took care of that. When he glanced back up and she looked like she was going to press him further, Steve reached for her hand again. “Can we continue this over dinner?” he asked as they drove up to a quaint-looking hotel, with light gray-shingled walls and abundant white trim that gleamed bright. 

Catherine nodded. “Sure thing, Steve.” They got out and he paid the driver while Catherine walked ahead into the lobby. When Steve joined her, he looked around and let out a soft whistle. 

“Not bad, Rollins,” he murmured as they approached the desk. The clean lines and light, bright decor were pleasing after a long day of travel. 

Check in was smooth and efficient, and soon enough they were pointed toward the elevators, keys in hand. 

Two rooms. Steve glanced down at the folder with his keys. “You want to freshen up, then meet at the beachfront restaurant down here in, say, an hour?” He followed her onto the elevator. 

“That sounds perfect to me,” Catherine agreed. They went their separate ways once the doors opened on their floor. “Don’t think I won’t remember where we left off earlier,” she told him as she disappeared down the hall. 

Nearly two hours later, Steve leaned back in his chair, staring out at the Pacific through the large glass window of their beachfront restaurant. Familiar water, _his_ water, but it felt strange, looking at it from the other side of the world. California. He took a sip of the excellent white wine that had come highly recommended from the waiter and sighed, relaxed in a way that he hadn't felt in a long time. 

So much had changed in the last twenty-four hours, and now he was sitting in a beachside restaurant in California with Catherine, enjoying a delicious meal and some good conversation. No Five-0 business to worry about, no task force threatening to interrupt his date, no responsibilities. 

No Danny. 

But this is what he needed, Steve reminded himself, and in truth it didn't feel all that bad, that lingering guilt ebbing away with each minute. "Chin said he's been in meetings all day with the governor. They're talking about cancelling some of the bigger events in the city. Keep on top of that virus." Taking one last bite from his superb sea bass, Steve pushed the plate away, happy and sated. "You should come up to San Francisco with me, say hi to him." Cath arched an eyebrow and waited, as if she didn't quite believe he wanted her with him. "I mean it, it would be fun. You and me, Rollins. We could take that road along the coast, drive around and see the sights. Be tourists for once." Her face remained impassive, so Steve continued. "We made a good team, didn't we?" he asked. "I bet it's been even longer since you had some time off."

"I'm not the one having a midlife crisis," she replied coolly, shaking her head as their waiter offered a dessert menu. "You running away from home to discover yourself, that's something you have to do on your own, McGarrett, as fun as it sounds."

"That's absolutely not what's happening-"

"Don't be ashamed. A lot of people take a gap year. Most just don't wait until their mid-forties to do it."

Steve snorted. "Well, I had a lot going on when I was younger." The academy, the service, the special ops training. 

"Hey big guy, no one gets that better than me," Cath answered, holding her hands up. "I'm not saying you didn't have a lot happening in your life, and I'm not saying this trip of yours is a terrible idea. The last ten years of your life... I mean, Jesus, Steve." Cath shook her head, her eyes settling on a bird walking along the beach outside. "You haven't stopped once to take a breath. You created a fantastic task force and worked your ass into the ground. You lost a lot too, important people, Steve, and no one blames you for getting burned out."

They looked at each other for a long moment, that sense of familiarity washing over Steve. Cath had been there for a lot of those times. "I sense a 'but' coming."

She looked at him with that sad smile she always used to give him before walking away. "Steve, where's your partner?"

“Technically not my partner any more,” Steve hedged. He lifted his glass for another sip of wine, trying not to think about how much those words hurt. “I mean, the governor did insist she’s considering this more a leave than me resigning, but I told her I’m done.” 

Catherine glared at him, then, the expression on her lovely face cracking the defensive wall he’d built around himself. “I couldn’t ask him to come with me for this, Cath,” Steve admitted at last. “I meant it when I said it was really close, okay? He doesn’t--he can’t be traveling all over the place with me right now. Danny needs to rest and heal. Spend time with his kids.” 

“And you,” Catherine countered. 

“No.” He had agonized over so many things for so long. That decision hadn’t been easy, but it had been far easier than staying at home in that haunted house, watching Danny recover and move on with his life. A life Steve wasn’t sure he fit into, anymore. 

“Steve.” 

His eyes met Catherine’s then, something about the shock in her tone making another brick tumble down. Then another. Steve reached for the bottle of wine and refilled his glass, then gestured toward hers. She held it out, then waited until he had topped her off and set the bottle down again. 

When she didn’t immediately speak, he folded his arms on the edge of the table and sighed, feeling weary again. This night was not going the way he had hoped it might. “Ask, Catherine. What do you really want to know?” 

“Do me the favor of not pretending I’m asking about work.” Catherine’s tone was still concerned, but there was a familiar edge to it that reminded Steve she didn’t suffer bullshit easily. “You and Danny, Steve… there’s something special between you. I recognized that even when you and I were still together.” Her tone had softened again. “I guess I thought you never got serious with… Lynn, was it?” When he nodded, Catherine went on. “I thought that ended because you and Danny were finally on the same page.” She paused. “What happened?” 

“Nothing happened.” When Catherine snorted, Steve threw his hands up. “I’m telling the truth. Nothing happened. Or--” Was it the whole truth, though? He hesitated. Talking about his personal life, his _love_ life, had never been that easy for Steve. Even, it turned out, when talking to someone who’d figured in a significant part of it. Maybe it was time to break that mold, be a different kind of McGarrett man than he’d been brought up to be. “I don’t know what happened, Catherine. I honestly don’t. We had--we had a thing.” 

“You and I had a ‘thing,’ too, McGarrett,” Catherine reminded him. She took a long drink of wine. “I’m going to need you to define that term, actually, because now that I think about it, we had a succession of ‘things.’ Was this thing with Danny a casual, friends-with-benefits thing, or a quid-pro-quo thing where you repaid each other for favors with other kinds of favors?” She paused, her gaze direct as she let those words sink in. Steve admired her relentlessness, even when it was directed at him. “Or was it a romantic thing?” 

“It was a--it wasn’t just about favors,” Steve replied, for a moment not sure if he was talking about Danny or Catherine. He shifted, uncomfortably flustered, and reached for his wine glass. “Maybe a little. More A with a potential for C, I think.” It had started casual, just him and Danny letting off steam. Sometimes playful, other times rough. Desperate, even, when they’d had a bad run of cases or one or the other of them needed to lay down the heavy burdens they carried. Steve took a long drink of his wine, hoping his thoughts didn’t show on his face.

“But you keep talking about it in the past tense,” Catherine observed. “So… clearly, _something_ happened.” She tilted her head. “You two fight all the time, and it just seems to fire you both up for more. So if it wasn’t a big blowout or something, what changed?” 

Steve traced the stem of his wine glass with a single finger as he thought about that. “It wasn’t a fight, you’re right. I don’t know… things were weird for a while. Busy. We had the restaurant stuff going on, and then it seemed like just when that was over Grace was in a really bad car accident. And then…” He sighed. “Then, Danny... started spending more time with Rachel. He wouldn’t talk about it at first, but he finally came clean that they were trying again.” 

“Oh, Steve.” Catherine’s voice was soft this time, but the surprise was still evident. Steve shook his head, immediately wanting to forestall any misunderstanding.

“It wasn’t like he’d made any promises to me, Catherine. Nothing like that.” Steve could not have her thinking badly of Danny. “It was just… I don’t know. We never quite got there, but it seemed like we were about to. And then life intervened, as it tends to do.” His life had a habit of doing that, anyway.

Catherine hummed in agreement as she lifted her glass. “It does do that, yeah.” But she looked sad again. And worried. When she started to speak, though, their server was suddenly at her elbow.

“Are you sure I can’t get you anything else, or are you ready for the check?” He smiled winningly. “The strawberry pie really is killer tonight.” 

Steve looked to Catherine, but she shook her head. “No, thank you,” she said. “I’ve got a bag of caramel corn waiting for me in my room, and I’ve saved just enough room for that.” 

“Just the check, then,” Steve said. “Or… another bottle of the white to take up with us?”

Catherine just stared at him for a moment. When she broke that eye contact, it was to turn and smile brightly at their server. “Would you give us a minute?” When he had taken their empty plates and disappeared, she crossed her arms. “What are you doing, Steve?” 

He swallowed, but otherwise was utterly still. “I thought…” Steve drew a deep breath, then looked out at the beach in the moonlight. It was a beautiful night. “I meant what I said earlier. You and I… we were good together.” When he looked back at Catherine, her expression hadn’t changed. Steve felt the heat creeping up the back of his neck, and he picked at the edge of the tablecloth as the silence between them drew out. 

“We were,” Catherine said at last. “Until we weren’t. We did okay with short term, meeting up for a few days in exotic places or hooking up whenever I was in port those last couple of years. But long term… Steve.” She shook her head, her eyes full of worry. And that sadness. “No. Besides, I’m not who you really want.” 

Steve was saved from needing to make an immediate response by the return of their server. He went through the motions of looking at the check and signing to charge it to his room. It took longer than usual, or maybe that was because he was stalling, trying to figure out how to salvage what little bit of his dignity he could. But Catherine was right. When they’d kept it to those casual, stolen moments, a night or a week or two here and there, they’d done just fine. It was the settled, long-term thing that hadn’t worked. When their server departed Steve looked back up at Catherine and drew a deep breath. Then he exhaled. “Yeah… you’re right. I’m sorry, Cath. I am.” Steve winced as he replayed the last few minutes in his head. “Can we just forget the last five or ten minutes happened?” 

“If you’ll do me a favor. Two, actually.” Catherine folded her napkin and placed it on the table. “First, don’t beat yourself up too much about it.” She tilted her head a little as she reached out to cover his hand with hers. “I get it, Steve, I do. Leaving home the way you did--even if you’re eventually going back--that’s a big step. I’m glad I could be here to ease the way a little. But you deserve someone who puts you first, every single time. I can’t.” 

Steve was quiet for a long time as he digested that, then got up and held out his hand for her. “I might cringe a little more in the privacy of my room, but I promise to let it go after that.” 

Catherine laughed softly as she took his hand and got up. “I’ll accept that.” 

They were quiet as they strolled back toward the lobby and the elevators that would take them up to their floor. When he had ushered her in, though, Steve frowned. “What was the second favor?” 

“Take care of Danny.” 

Steve’s eyes flew to hers as that quiet request registered. He didn’t know how to answer her, wasn’t sure what she wanted from him. “I always do, don’t I?”

“Doesn’t look like it this time, with you here and not in Hawaii where you belong.” There was a hint of reproach in her voice; it had been in the expression he couldn’t identify earlier, too, Steve realized. 

“Isn’t taking care of myself for once kind of the same thing?” he asked after a quiet, uncomfortable moment. 

Catherine shook her head. “Not like this. You take care of _each other_. You have from the start.” She sighed. “You know he’s going to worry about you, Steve. That’s what he does. He looks after you so fiercely, and always has.” She seemed to hesitate, fidgeting with her hands as she drew a breath to speak. Steve watched her do that silently before she finally continued. “You know he gave me the shovel talk when I came back that last time?” 

“I did know that, actually,” he admitted. When Catherine looked surprised, he shrugged. “He didn’t tell me to badmouth you, Catherine. Danny wouldn’t do that.” 

He watched as Catherine tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “I know he wouldn’t,” she admitted. “But I stand by what I said, Steve.” She laughed, then, but her expression was wry. “I have to say, I always thought I’d be reciprocating with him. Not giving the shovel talk to you on his behalf.” 

He could see the dark humor in that. Steve managed a ghost of a grin. “Yeah, well, I guess the world really is out of whack this year, huh.” 

They were both quiet for a moment. Steve realized they hadn’t moved, then, and reached out to press the button for their floor. When the elevator began to rise, he leaned back against the handrail, arms crossed and head resting against the wall. 

As they parted just outside the doors to go to their separate rooms, he paused. “Hey, Cath?” 

“Yeah?” She turned around. 

“I--I don’t know if I can make that promise. But I’ll try.” 


	3. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

[Tuesday, March 10]

He woke up later than normal. _Time differences_ , Steve mused to himself. He reached for his phone and blinked at it as he lingered in the cozy warmth of the comfortable bed. He'd slept so deeply for once that he didn't hear his phone go off when Cath texted that morning, which was very unusual for him. 

> **Headed out early. Thanks for dinner, hon and have a happy birthday. Drive safe and keep in touch.**

Keep in touch. Not one of Catherine’s strong suits, but then maybe that had had a lot to do with how things had always ended before. It wasn’t a strong suit of Steve McGarrett, either, he supposed as he finally stood and stretched, but maybe this trip would help. This idea of getting away - it wasn't all about him. Steve wanted to see some friendly faces that he hadn't kept in touch with, or not as well as he liked, friends and family scattered all over the country. 

It also reminded Steve that yes, another year had gone by, his birthday almost forgotten in the rush of his departure. Steve texted Cath a quick reply thanking her in turn for her help yesterday, and then headed outside for a little ocean time before heading north.

"It's really the only way to drive Highway 1," the older woman manning the counter at the car rental agency said as she handed him the keys to a dark blue Mustang convertible. "And you can change it up when you get to wherever you're going if it isn't what you need for the rest of your trip." After a few moments looking at the car, Steve heartily agreed. Isn't this why he was here, to get away from responsibilities and to enjoy himself? Pulling out of the parking lot and onto the street, Steve felt very 'California' and could hear his Aunt Deb's wry laughter in his head, reminding him to enjoy himself as he turned toward the Pacific Coast Highway. 

It was his birthday, after all.

The weather was perfect, clear and sunny and yet so different from his own paradise at home. The first few hours of the drive flew by. Stopping off for lunch at a beachside cafe in Pismo Beach, Steve took a picture of himself and his convertible and sent it to Thomas Magnum, who still occasionally ribbed him about commandeering his Ferrari during that case they shared earlier this year. After a moment, Steve sent it to Danny as well. When there was no immediate response, Steve calculated that it was still early in Hawaii, and Danny had never been much of a morning person. Continuing his drive up the coast, Steve put on some music and lost himself in the scenery as the towns gave way to a twisting and turning coastline, going up into the mountains and then back down close to the shore. 

> **Happy birthday old man!**

The text from Mary made him smile. More birthday wishes trickled in over the course of the day from his friends. His ohana. But there was still no response from Danny several hours later when Steve pulled into his hotel in Monterey. He'd lost service several times on the road, in the remote hills that hugged the coastline, but he had expected _something_ from Danny; a smart ass comment, an inappropriate emoji, hell, even a picture of his dog. But nothing. Silence. Maybe Danny was busy spending time with Charlie and resting up, Steve mused, and that sent him on another train of thought. Five-0 was understaffed right now, especially with Danny still out. But not forever, Steve reminded himself as he checked into his hotel. Danny was far better at following the doctors’ orders than Steve was, but even he would be chomping at the bit soon to get back on desk duty, at least, to help out. Their ohana would look out for him, too--take care of each other, which eased Steve’s mind. There was no way this trip would work if he spent all his time worrying about his people. 

Not his people anymore, were they? Wasn't that what he told Cath? "Not my partner anymore," that's what he'd told her about Danny and even hearing the words leave his mouth felt traitorous. He knew they were always going to be his people, his ohana, even if he had needed to make that break. To get away, to distance himself until he figured out what it was he was looking for. Steve guessed that he couldn't blame Danny for being a little mad at him right now.

He walked around Monterey that night, feeling like a tourist as he strolled up and down Cannery Row, seeing the mixture of familiar chain restaurants with smaller local bars and eateries. Out of curiosity he stepped into a Hawaiian-themed pub, sampled their fish tacos and talked to the waitstaff about the town. "Monterey's beautiful. You should go see the aquarium before you leave. If it's still open, that is. Nasty virus. I don't know what we'll do if they start closing the shops and businesses around here."

Lots to see and do, but Steve felt restless around all these people, the SEAL and the cop in him seeing all the potential exposures in security in public places like this, and he wondered if that would ever go away. 

It also reinforced in Steve that maybe big cities weren't what he was looking for. 

He was forty-two. No, wait, forty-three. Another March, another year older. It had been a good birthday, driving on the road and seeing some beautiful California coastline, and now he was in a hotel room, sitting in his boxers and drinking from a celebratory six pack he'd picked up at a small corner store near the hotel. 

Not his worst birthday; that would have been fifteen years ago in Afghanistan, an op that officially did not exist but which had utterly, completely _sucked_. Best birthday? Steve took another sip of his beer, chuckling to himself. There was that salt cake in the shape of a grenade that his team brought out one year when they were still getting to know each other. Last year Tani had nervously surprised him with a basket filled with snacks and beer. She was a sweet kid, he mused, taking another drink from his beer. His fist gripped the neck of the beer, his mouth covering the top of the beer bottle as he paused mid drink, remembering another birthday. Danny on his knees, sucking his cock and humming 'Happy Birthday to You.' Even now, he couldn't help but laugh at how much fun they'd had that night, rolling around in his bed, discovering each other's bodies. That had been the best birthday.

Was that the first time Danny had spent the whole night in his bed? Steve thought so. But not the last, until it all just stopped. Finishing his beer, Steve felt that regret washing over him so he pushed those thoughts away and turned the television channel to the local news so he could check the next day’s weather.

[Wednesday, March 11] 

He made it to San Francisco by ten in the morning and soon met up with Chin Ho Kelly, who introduced him to his task force. "I'm impressed," Steve said as he followed Chin around the top floor of the high rise in the Financial District designated as the task force headquarters. "I mean, I'd have taken this job too, just for this view," he added, looking out of Chin's office window onto San Francisco Bay. "Which one is that?" he said, pointing at a bridge.

"That's the Bay Bridge," Chin answered, "and over there," he pointed out the small island on the far left side of his window, "that's Alcatraz. We should go while you're here."

Steve was impressed. "This is really great, brah."

"It isn't Honolulu," Chin admitted, standing next to Steve and looking out at the bright blue water of the bay, "but it doesn't suck." Clapping Steve's shoulders, he shared some of the current concerns that they were working on. "What've you heard about this virus?" he asked as they headed back toward the central room where some of the crew were at their computers, talking to each other. 

“...I’m just glad my parents had already decided to postpone their anniversary trip until summer,” said Audrey, a detective Chin had recruited from the East Coast, deep in conversation with her partner. The way she sat on the corner of Frank’s desk reminded Steve of him and Danny. “They were planning a cruise.”

The team acknowledged their presence as they returned to the room, and Steve noticed they quieted down, curious about his answer. Steve shrugged. "You know,” he began, “there wasn’t much concern in Honolulu yet before I left, although the plane ride over wasn't as full as it's normally been. But I got a news alert on my phone a while ago, and UH--the University of Hawaii--announced they’re closing the campuses, moving everything online. I hear the University of Chicago’s doing it, too. Grace--my partner’s daughter, she goes there.” Steve shook his head. “My guess is other schools are going to follow suit, if they haven’t made the call already. This virus, it sounds pretty scary.” 

“That it does.” Chin’s second-in-command, Miranda, said as she joined them. “Sounds like Hawaii’s just a day or two behind us here, from what you say. UC Berkeley started shifting over on Tuesday, and the other universities have, too, or are going to.” She gave Steve a curious look as she leaned against the conference table. “Your team has an advantage over us, at least. You’re pretty isolated, out there in the middle of the Pacific.” She grinned, then, and shook her head. “A lot easier to lock it all down if it comes to that.”

Steve smiled back, though inside he felt a little nagging worry at leaving his team to deal with all of this without him. Old habits die hard, he supposed, trying to shrug it off. Lincoln was there, presumably, though he reminded himself that it was Danny’s call, now, whether Cole stayed on or not. “That’s true. Though I’m sure Chin’s with me when I say I wouldn’t relish having to clear Waikiki Beach again.” Chin groaned. 

A few eyebrows lifted. “Again?” Ben, Chin’s tech guru, looked back and forth between her boss and Steve. “That sounds like a story we should hear.” 

“Okay, okay,” Chin agreed. Then he glanced at Steve. “Which time you want to start with, brah?” 

After lunch Chin walked Steve around the rest of the building, showing off their forensic department and armory, clearly proud of the team he'd built. A plaque and a photo nearby caught his eye, and Steve moved in closer to take a look. “Commendation from the mayor,” he said with a whistle. The frame next to it didn’t hold a photo, he realized, or not just that; it was a copy of an article from the _San Francisco Chronicle_ detailing the award and the case the team had solved to earn it. “I remember reading about these serial bank robbers,” Steve realized. He glanced over at Chin. “The network piece I recall didn’t mention your team, though.” 

“Eh, we had to keep a low profile on that case,” Chin said, clearly trying to shrug it off as “business as usual” in his quiet way. “Turned out it was connected to something far bigger we were working on with our friends at the state level,” he said, nodding toward the next frame on the wall. This one was a proclamation from the Governor of California commending the team for their service to the state. “Our wall’s not quite as full as Five-0’s, yet, but we’re getting there.” 

Steve clapped Chin on the back. “I’m proud of you, man.” 

"Mahalo. And since my team is so amazing," Chin began, looking down at his phone to check the time as they reached the main office again, "I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off to spend some time with this guy. You all let me know if anything big comes up." 

After saying their goodbyes, Chin and Steve headed down the elevator to the parking garage. "You should be proud, brah," Steve told him. "I miss working with you, you don't even know how much, but you're doing a great job here."

Chin smiled brightly at the compliment. "Man, I sure am glad to see you again." 

Later that evening they were sitting out on the small enclosed patio of Chin's Nob Hill house after an amazing home cooked dinner with Chin's girlfriend Laurie and his niece Sara. The two men regaled them with old war stories as the sun set over the bay, Sara (and Laurie, too) listening wide-eyed as they described some of their exploits back in the early days of Five-0. Steve even shared a few carefully edited Navy stories, ones he’d told Grace or Charlie before. The only reminder of the present state of things was when Chin got a text message and stepped away for a moment to make a call. Steve knew with a glance at Chin’s face it was work-related. When he came back, he was shaking his head. “That was the governor’s office,” he said. “The NBA’s suspended the season for at least the next thirty days. They'll be announcing it in the next hour or so.” 

“No kidding.” Steve’s eyebrows rose. “Someone test positive?” 

“Sounds like it.” Chin put his phone down on the table and took a drink from his beer. “This is looking more serious by the day.” 

"My sister is a teacher in Texas, and they're already on spring break." Laurie said to Steve, as she put out a plate with some cookies on it. "She told me today that their break's been extended by two weeks so they can clean the schools." She handed Sara two cookies and then sat back down. Looking over at Chin, she added, "But we haven't heard anything about Sara's school closing, not yet." Laurie looked concerned as she brushed at her brown hair and swept a stray curl back into the messy knot she’d pulled it into earlier. “I can work from pretty much anywhere, though, so if it does, Sara and I will hold down the fort here while Chin’s at work, won’t we?” 

“Yeah!” Sara turned to Steve. “My teacher said we might get extra spring break,” she added. “But I kind of hope not, because I’m supposed to be doing a science project. And we’re planting a vegetable garden!” 

Steve grinned. “A garden? I don’t think we ever got to do that, did we, Chin? At least, I think we planted some beans one year, but that was it.” 

“It was beans for me, too,” Chin confirmed. “And I think we had a field trip to the Dole Plantation, maybe.” 

When Laurie took Sara inside to help her with some math homework before bedtime, Chin accompanied them inside for a moment and came back with fresh beers for himself and Steve. He murmured a thank you, thinking about how happy Chin seemed. But he’d been happy when he left Hawaii, too, Steve thought, and clearly something had happened between then and now. 

“Laurie and Sara seem to get along really well.” Steve turned his beer bottle in his hands as he leaned back in his chair. "So what happened with Abby?"

Chin shrugged. "Abby… something changed once we got here. That old Hawaiian magic wasn't there. It wasn't bad, we parted on good terms, and she ended up getting a promotion and moving to Sacramento." He smiled again. "She's been really helpful getting the governor to expedite things when we need them fast." Glancing back at his house, he smiled contentedly. "Then I met Laurie and things clicked. We're talking about getting married next summer."

Steve's smile lit up his face. “Ho’omaika’i ‘ana, brah," he said, reaching out and hugging Chin. "I can't tell you how happy I am for you. That's great."

"Mahalo, brah. I'm really happy," Chin told him as they settled back into their seats. "I mean, don't get me wrong, that first year was rough. San Francisco's an important city but we don't have the ear of the governor like we did back in Honolulu. Or quite the same immunity and means,” he added, giving Steve a look. “Took a while for the task force to really get going. Traffic's a nightmare, so we can't just jump into our cars and take off. But the crew, they're a great group of people." Looking over at Steve, Chin quieted, as if there were a hundred questions he wanted to ask. 

He finally settled on, "How's Danny?"

"He's good. Better," Steve answered with a tight smile. "It was… it was a close call this time. Scared me a little there, but you can't keep that guy down for too long. He always bounces back."

After another long drink from his bottle, Chin looked over at him. “He moved in with you again.” When Steve shot him a surprised look, Chin continued. “Lou mentioned it.” 

Of course he did. “The man’s a gossip.” 

“Eh,” Chin replied. “He worries about you. We all do, brah. Nothing wrong with that. Now, Danny…”

“He did move back in.” Steve sighed and rolled his neck, trying to get comfortable as he settled in for what was going to be a longer, thornier conversation than he’d anticipated. Then he took a drink of his own Longboard, the familiar taste making him ache for home. “The past year or two… It’s been a lot, brah,” he admitted. Chin’s knowing nod made it easier to talk about, though. It might have been from a distance, but they tried to keep up with each other. “Even leaving aside Joe and Doris.” Steve bit his lip as he stared down at his hands wrapped around the bottle of beer. “Danny… I assume you know he and Rachel were testing the waters again?” When Chin nodded, Steve went on. “I guess he decided I should, too. He started trying to set me up with all these women.” When Chin let out a bark of laughter, Steve nodded good-naturedly, waving his hand. “Yeah, yeah.” 

Chin gulped a hasty sip of his Longboard and then cleared his throat. “Sorry. And?” 

“You laugh,” Steve retorted, “but that’s what happened. He set me up with this woman who has a kid in school with Charlie. Brooke. A very nice lady. We got along pretty well. It didn’t--we enjoyed spending time together, but there wasn’t really a spark, you know?” Steve shrugged. “Danny, though, he kept trying to get me to go out, do normal things where I might meet someone else. We took Eddie to the dog park one day.” 

“Wait wait wait, Danny Williams took you to the dog park to meet women?” Chin didn’t even try to hide his broad grin. “Steve. Honestly. Did it work?” 

“Not exactly,” Steve admitted. “But after Eddie got into it with another dog we had to take him to the vet. I, uh, got her number. With some encouragement from him.” 

“Who, Eddie?” 

Steve narrowed his eyes. “From Danny.” 

“I’m sorry, brah, I really am,” Chin replied, trying to suppress a chuckle. “So, summing up, you crashed and burned a few times. And the vet?” 

“Emma,” Steve said. He shifted uncomfortably again. “We went out. It was nice. Then the CIA came calling about my mother. Kind of hard to disappear for two months with no warning and no contact and just pick back up where I left off with her.” 

“Damn.” Chin shook his head as he lifted his beer. “You really have had nothing but shit for luck the past year, haven’t you.” 

“Not entirely,” Steve admitted quietly. “After--after I got back to DC from Mexico, you know Danny flew all the way there? He stayed with me. Wouldn’t leave me alone.” Steve still recalled the way Danny had picked at him about the hotel bed, needling him until he’d huffed and swept his uninjured arm in the universal _be my guest_ gesture. They’d done it before, after all, sleeping in the same bed to help each other through those rough nights, both before and after they’d added sex into the mix. But not in the past year or two. Not since the sex had stopped. That night, though, when Steve had woken from the nightmare that had broken the first real sleep he’d had in two months it had been to Danny’s voice. He hadn’t touched Steve, not at first; Danny knew the drill with nightmares from all those other nights spent together. But his voice had been calm and soothing and he’d _been there,_ a solid, warm presence in the bed. And when Steve had finally crumbled and burrowed into him, wounded shoulder and all, Danny had opened his arms wide and held him close. Let him shake it out. 

Steve broke the silence after a moment. “Anyway. It was harder than I thought it would be, losing Doris.” The grief still caught him unawares sometimes, the way it would well up sharp and fresh when he least expected. “I mean, I spent more than half my life thinking she was already dead. And even after all the drama with her coming back, popping in and out of my life the past few years, she was never really there. But...I don’t know, man. Losing Joe, then losing her... I was not okay.” Those months after Doris’ death had been particularly dark. “Danny, he looked after me. Made sure I wasn’t alone.” 

Chin nodded slowly. “But you have a roommate. Junior,” he pointed out. “From all I’ve heard from you and Danny, he’s good people. Though I guess I get it. It’s not the same--” He broke off when they said those last four words in unison. Not the same as someone who knows you, inside and out. 

“It’s not,” Steve agreed. “Junior--he’s like a brother. A younger brother,” he added slowly. “And a subordinate. I can’t…” He broke off, then blew out a breath. “Two years working for me, almost that amount of time living in my house, and the kid still looks up to me like I’m some big damn hero.” It had been different when they were building Five-0, just the four of them. Steve, Danny, Chin, and Kono. Oh, sure, they pulled rank on Kono, razzed her about being a rookie, but in its infancy, Five-0 had felt far less… hierarchical. Which was rich, Steve realized, coming from him. But they’d all been on more or less the same level, just with different skill sets. 

“Well, you are,” Chin pointed out. “Sorry to burst your bubble there, McGarrett, but I’ve seen all those medals. I’ve seen you do some pretty heroic things with my own two eyes, too.” 

Steve scowled at him. “Doing my job. But that’s not the point. The point is, I guess, that Junior sees that part of me, thinks I’m invincible. But Danny… he gets it all. Kind of like you. And apparently what he was seeing and hearing worried him. As it should have,” he murmured. 

“‘As it should have’,” Chin repeated slowly. “Steve. That sounds an awful lot like you were…”

He shifted in his seat. That was something he hadn’t meant Chin to pick up on, but the man was as perceptive as ever. “I wasn’t in a good place,” he admitted at last. “I mean--I mean I wasn’t suicidal, though Danny’s called me that enough times over the years after one of my ‘stunts’ in the field.” 

“I wouldn’t have called myself that, either, at the time, Steve,” Chin said quietly. He didn’t have to say when; they both knew exactly what he was talking about. Malia. “But looking back, knowing how far I’ve come now…” He sighed and shook his head. “I’m not so sure it was that far-fetched.” 

Steve swallowed. “I wouldn’t have done anything like that. I couldn’t. Not to Mary and Joanie. Or to Danny and the kids.” 

“That’s good, Steve,” Chin told him. He reached out and laid his hand on Steve’s shoulder in a firm, comforting grip. “Sometimes, that’s all you’ve got, and that’s okay.” He was quiet for a moment. “Danny was pretty worried about you there for a while. But I guess by now you know that.” 

“Yeah.” Steve glanced down at his almost empty bottle. “We talked about it, some. But then everything happened, and--I don’t know. A lot’s changed the past year or two, Chin.” 

“Doesn’t matter.” The look Chin gave Steve was all calm comfort. “You’ve got a lot of people who love you, brah. _You,_ not just the ‘big damn hero.’ We need you around.” His gaze was steady, but something in his eyes told Steve he’d known about the two of them. “But _no one_ more than Danny.” 

But was that really true, Steve wondered as he went to bed that evening in Chin's comfortable guest room. Steve hadn’t mentioned it to Chin, or to Cath for that matter, but he was pretty sure Danny was seeing someone again. 

Someone that he didn't want Steve to know about, per usual. 

Last week while doing laundry, Steve had found a note in the pocket of Danny's shorts. _March 20, 2:30_ with a heart and a phone number next to it. 

No, Danny was doing just fine without him.


	4. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

[Friday, March 13]

Steve had breakfast with Chin on the final morning of his visit, then once they had parted with hugs and promises to see each other more often, he threw his duffel in the trunk of the Mustang. San Francisco was an outstanding place to visit with a fascinating history, and he’d thoroughly enjoyed their trip out to Alcatraz the day before. But he was ready to get out of the city, after a quick stop at Target to pick up some essentials.

The trip inside the store was quite the wake-up call. He couldn’t help noticing all the empty spots on the shelves and the entire, decimated paper products aisle. Steve found the toiletries he needed, then made a quick trip to the camping aisle and picked up a sleeping bag, a small tent, and some other supplies. Sleeping under the stars at some point of this trip was appealing, especially given the rumors of shutdowns of non-essential businesses. Chin had hooked him up with some N-95 masks left over from work he’d done on his house, too. Steve tried to refuse, but Chin assured him they had plenty. “Take them, brah. You _are_ in one of the risk groups, and who knows whether you’ll be able to find them in stores. I’d feel better knowing you had them.”

Thinking about it that way put Steve in an odd mood as he hurried through Target wearing his mask. He took care of himself, and he knew that despite the little concern his doctor had raised about his cholesterol a few months back, he was still in outstanding physical condition for a man of his age. But the fact remained that he had a piece of Danny’s liver inside him, and the meds in his bag to go with it.

After Target, there was one more stop Steve needed to make before he left town. He hated letting go of the Mustang, but an SUV would be more practical for the desert and mountain driving ahead of him. In the end, Steve turned it in with a fond goodbye and rented a Blazer instead. He almost asked for something else when he saw it in the lot, the exact shade of red as his latest Silverado. But in the end he shook his head, loaded his things inside, and slid behind the wheel. It had four wheels and a motor, that was all that mattered.

It was a smooth enough ride, even if it didn’t hug the road the way the Mustang had. As he got out of the Bay Area and onto an open stretch of highway, Steve put some music on and settled in for a day of driving. There was nowhere in particular he wanted to stop today. He wanted to make Vegas by dinnertime, but on the other hand, he reflected, there was no reason he had to. He could snack on the road, then treat himself to a steak dinner whenever he rolled in. Vegas was always open.

As he drove, Steve let his mind wander as he thought about his visit with Chin and his team, then their long conversations catching up at Chin’s house. He wasn’t sure if it was the comment Chin had made about Danny needing him or the reminder of his immunocompromised state that morning, but something had him brooding over that text message again as he headed south on Interstate 5. _Miss you already._ If Danny missed him so much, why hadn’t he replied at all? Not just to the stupid selfie. He hadn’t even responded when Steve had texted to let him know he’d landed in LA or about Gracie's university closing.

It was possible, he supposed, that Danny was just really busy. Junior mentioned that Rachel was still out of town and Charlie was with them. Steve felt a pang of unease when he recalled the chat he’d had with Chin and his team and how Miranda had brought up the topic of locking down the island. This virus was some scary shit, Steve reflected. The news was sobering enough that he was glad he’d accepted those masks from Chin. If Danny was keeping up with the news--and he was; Steve knew him almost better than he knew himself--then Danny was worried. The thoughts of the virus and Danny mingled in his head, calling to mind that case they’d had just a few weeks earlier. _Could it have been that recently?_ The drugs in that house, how they’d inhaled them when those idiots shot the place up. Steve recalled the resulting headache vividly. But he also remembered the way Danny had coughed. And the way he’d coughed and wheezed ten years before when he’d been exposed to the sarin. He wasn’t close to a hundred percent now, either, so anything like this virus would hit him hard.

His thoughts continued on that grim path for a few miles longer, until Steve finally made himself pull off and stop for a bathroom break and a bottle of water to clear his head. He spent some time stretching his legs before he got back in the Blazer and then wasted a few minutes more fiddling with the radio and pairing his phone with it. Once he had it hooked up he chose a playlist, one Tani had shared with him and that he’d not yet gotten around to listening to.

The [first song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fndeDfaWCg) made him grin even as he shook his head: “I Want It That Way” by the Backstreet Boys. He’d walked in on Tani and Junior clowning around in the office, it had to be over a year ago now, with this song blasting. It was one of the first clues he’d had that maybe the kids were going to figure things out for real.

Refreshed and snacking on a bag of Skinny Pop kettle corn, Steve’s mood lightened as he continued down the highway, the break having helped to put his more morbid thoughts to rest. The music might have had something to do with it, too; it wasn’t his usual stuff, but Tani’s choices were upbeat and kept him guessing, and even tapping his hands on the steering wheel now and then. He made a mental note to thank her for the playlist when he stopped.

That afternoon’s drive went quickly. Aside from a couple more quick pit stops, Steve drove straight through to Vegas. It was after dark when he cruised past the _Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas_ sign, the neon as bright as he remembered as he approached the hotels of the Strip. He checked into the Bellagio, another vacation splurge, and after dropping his duffel in his room he set out to find dinner. Given his long day behind the wheel, he opted to stay in the resort rather than venture out onto the Strip. The surf and turf in the hotel’s steakhouse hit the spot, and Steve had a couple of beers along with it as he unwound and chatted with his server about the unusually quiet night. Afterward, he wandered through the casino and tried his luck at a hand of poker and some slots, but before long he felt the lure of the king bed in his room. He watched the Bellagio’s fountain show from the floor-to-ceiling windows up there, then fell asleep halfway through _Ocean’s Eleven_.

[Saturday, March 14]

The next morning Steve woke with the sun and showered, but the glimpse at the local paper mentioning all the cancelled shows and conventions and the chatter he heard about the hotels possibly shutting down while he was downstairs in the lobby waiting for his coffee made him reconsider staying in Las Vegas another night. He’d always had fun here, but this time around he just wasn’t in the mood, not to mention it sounded as though the virus was going to shut virtually the whole city down soon. He wouldn't be sorry to check out and get back on the road; he was enjoying the drives. With a choice between either a long day of driving to get into Denver, where he hoped to see Kono, or breaking the trip somewhere in Utah, he decided to slow down and give himself time to really soak in the scenery. Find a campsite somewhere along the way, maybe get in some hiking.

But where to go? After he got back to his room, Steve opened up his laptop and examined his Google map. So many places to visit, he thought, knowing he could spend a month traveling the eleven hours between Vegas and Denver and not be bored. Grand Canyon was majestic, but Steve had been there as a child on a family vacation, and right now it sounded more crowded than he liked. Fishlake Forest attracted his attention for a minute before his eyes settled on Moab.

Someone had mentioned Moab before - Jerry? No, Max, Max and his current quest to take his family to every national park. Moab was close to two of them, Arches and Canyonlands, so he set his map destination for Moab, gassed up the Blazer and hit the road right after breakfast.

The scenery was stunning along the way; tans and browns slowly giving way to rust-colored desert rocks and sparse vegetation spreading out for miles on either side of the highway, with a bright, clear blue sky overhead.

He made it to Moab by early afternoon, and after some good advice (and a map from the Bureau of Land Management) from the friendly waitress at the diner where he stopped off for lunch, Steve headed out of town in search of one of the sprawling dispersed campgrounds the waitress had mentioned where they had lots of space between campsites, reservations not needed. Having scouted out his spot, Steve headed back to town and pulled into the supermarket parking lot, where he spotted more people than not wearing masks over their faces. Pulling one out of his backpack, Steve fixed it on his face and headed inside to pick up the supplies he'd need to get through the next couple of days out here.

At least, he tried to. Shelves were emptied of bottled water but he managed to find some larger five gallon containers, so he grabbed two of those along with granola bars, beef jerky, and some fruit. He'd grabbed a bag of ice and a cooler when he last filled up the Blazer, so Steve headed back to the campsite and set things up before indulging in an afternoon nap.

Later that evening Steve set up his tent and built a campfire, and thought about some additional purchases to make the next day. A pan for the fire was first on his list; if he was going to camp for a while, and right now Steve felt like that was a great plan, he might as well do it right. A blanket or a hoodie was another, since Utah was a good deal colder in the evenings than he'd expected, and Steve hadn't packed much in the way of cold weather gear. Wet wipes, so he could stay clean. A good lantern, maybe something to charge his phone. Not that he had any service right now, but that was okay.

Too much to do, too much to think about. Steve had given himself a quick wash with some of his water after an evening hike and right now he was staring up at the stars, wondering (not for the first time) what he was doing out here so far away from his island paradise. It was beautiful here, but desolate, bare rocks and canyons stretched out for miles. Even the palette was so different, red and gold under brilliant blue skies, but no palm trees, no temperate ocean breeze. No endless expanse of blue water calling his name. Steve had spent twenty years away from Hawaii, but the last ten years there he'd made such deep connections that he couldn't imagine living anywhere else. Even Danny called it home now, and he'd hated the place when he arrived.

Steve couldn't help laugh at those memories from back then, his Danny wearing ties and growling at everyone and everything connected with their island home, or _pineapple-infested hellhole_ , as he’d called it once.

Other memories crept in. One in particular - getting drunk at Chin's wedding. Sitting here now, in front of the campfire, Steve's hand slid down inside his pants and he squeezed his half-hard cock. That night in Danny's hotel room after the wedding, handcuffing Danny to the bed and fucking him senseless. Danny had made an act of fighting Steve off, pushing him back, that rough play they loved but when Steve slid inside him, balls deep, Danny's legs had wrapped around Steve. Their kisses were wet and messy and when Danny came, it was Steve's name he cried out, panting in Steve's ear.

He felt himself flushing and he looked around to make sure no one could see him like this. His fist worked fast and hard and now it was Steve cursing quietly and spilling all over his own hand. A moment later he reached for a wipe (these were coming in handy) and quickly cleaned himself up again, then glanced around again, a little flustered. But it was a good memory, the two of them growing closer.

And now…

Now Danny was there on their beach and Steve was the one who left. Once again, he thought maybe Danny had a right to be pissed. Steve crawled into his tent and closed his eyes, falling asleep imagining his beach and his chair and the man who was always at his side.

[Monday, March 16]

The sign read, "Welcome to Colorful Colorado."

The western part of Colorado looked like Utah, the canyons not quite as brilliantly orange and red as the ones he'd spent the last two days exploring, but as he drove east on Interstate 70 Steve could see small green shrubs dotting the land, true vegetation starting to take over as the Rockies loomed larger up ahead.

When he stopped for gas Steve checked his phone, happy to see that he had service again. He sent a few more pictures to Danny that he’d taken during his hike that morning, his thumbs hovering as he debated whether to send a text along with them. Five days later and he still hadn’t had a reply from Danny about his Mustang selfie, or anything else for that matter. Thomas Magnum’s reply had come late that same night, his _A little pedestrian, but not bad_ drawing a chuckle from Steve as he unwound before bed in his Monterey hotel room. But from Danny, nothing.

At last, Steve began to type.

> **Reminds me of our first hike.**

It was stupid, maybe. Utah and Hawaii couldn’t be more different, but he’d missed Danny’s commentary on the trail. His presence. Not the part where he’d broken his arm or found a dead body, but everything before that, yeah. He hit send and quit worrying as he moved on to his next text. From Kono. He’d mentioned he would be passing through Denver. Steve figured he would stop there for a few days, then head up into Montana. He hadn’t been to Glacier in years, and he could check on Joe’s ranch, too.

> **If you booked a hotel here in Denver, cancel it. You know I’ve got a room for you. Call me with your ETA.**

He made it to Denver right after one and found Kono's South Denver bungalow with relative ease. "It's so good to see you," Kono said. She hesitated for the briefest moment before throwing her arms around him and hugging him tight. Steve understood; he’d been hearing the talk about social distancing when he caught up on the news, but it had been a long time. She gave a quick peck to his cheek before pulling back and peering closely into his face. "It's been too long, bossman."

"That it has," Steve agreed, looking back at her. Memories flooded in of that hotheaded police academy rookie that he snagged for his fledgling task force. Ten years and she'd grown into an amazing woman. "You look great, Kono. Thanks for putting me up for a few days."

“For real, brah?” She shook her head at him, as if disappointed he would even think about doubting his welcome. “You’re ohana,” Kono said simply, leading Steve into the cozy house and giving him a quick tour before showing him her guest room, complete with a small fireplace and private bathroom. Wow. "So, get cleaned up, shower if you need to," she grinned, "and then come tell me all about your trip while I make some lunch, okay?"

An hour later, freshly showered, Steve sat in her comfortable kitchen and watched as she whipped up a chopped salad. "Tonight, I was gonna say we can go out to a local steakhouse if you want," she told him. "Denver prides itself on its beef. But maybe we should eat in, with this virus circulating. Or we could go pick up dinner somewhere and bring it back, so you could at least see a little of the city on the way.”

Steve settled back with his soft drink. “You know what, picking up dinner and bringing it back here sounds good, actually. I wouldn’t mind just hanging out in the living room and catching up tonight.” Looking out the window he could see the tops of the Rockies over the roof of the house next door. "So before you ask," Steve said as he took plates and silverware from Kono, "Danny's okay." He began to set the table as she brought over the big bowl of salad and put it in front of him. "He and I, we're good, and while I realize that this looks like I'm running away from home, I believe this trip is important to my well-being right now."

The knowing smile on her face told Steve that he had accurately guessed her line of thinking. "I guess you've heard an earful from the others," she said, sitting down.

"Chin may have brought it up,” Steve agreed with a nod. “Cath too," he added, watching her eyes widen at that blast from the past. Steve gave a quick summary of those conversations just so she knew that he'd already heard whatever she was going to ask. "He can't miss me too much, I haven't heard a peep since I left almost a week ago." _Miss you already._ "I guess he’s been busy."

"I don't think that's the problem," Kono said, shaking her head. She held up her phone. "He texted me earlier, asked if you'd made it to Colorado yet." She reached over and squeezed his knee. "He misses you, bossman, even if he's too stubborn to let you know."

Steve stared at her phone, then at Kono for a moment before looking down at his plate. So Danny was texting the others, even keeping tabs on him. He just didn’t want to talk to him. Steve stabbed at a large bite of his salad, trying to cover how much that hurt and confused him. When he’d managed to chew and swallow the whole thing, he reached for his glass of tea. “This is really good, Kono. Thanks.”

When he looked up again, Kono had her chin propped on her hands and was watching him. “What?” He wiped his mouth with his napkin, feeling a little self-conscious.

“Nothing.” Kono shook her head. “It just really has been a long time, that’s all.” As if she was aware that was drifting into melancholy waters, too, Kono turned her attention to her own plate. “I’ve been thinking, Great-Auntie Leola’s turning 75 this summer. Been planning a big party practically since last year, I hear, and she wants everyone there. Chin and me included.” She popped a bite of cucumber into her mouth. “I’ve got a load of leave time accrued, so I thought I might make a real vacation of it. Come home for a good, long visit.”

Her visits to Hawaii had been short and sporadic before she and Adam split, but they’d stopped entirely over the past year. Since her divorce. Steve suspected she’d been trying to give Adam some space. “Been a long time since we surfed Waimea or Sunset Beach together,” he observed.

“Exactly what I was thinking,” Kono agreed. “So, I can count on catching some waves with you, brah?”

Steve realized she’d just effectively asked if he planned on being home by then. He finished chewing the bite of salad in his mouth and fiddled with his fork, cutting through a slice of cucumber. “I’d like that, Kono. Not sure yet exactly when I’ll be back, but I’ll let you know.”

Kono studied him for a long, uncomfortable moment. “Sure thing, bossman,” she finally said. Steve thought there was more she wanted to say, but she seemed to change her mind at the last minute. “So, Tani and Junior. I hear that’s a thing now. You got details for me, I hope.”

The abrupt change of subject was startling, but welcome. Steve smiled as he thought of the way the two kids had been around each other. “Yeah, I think they finally got it together after he came home from his op a while back,” he confirmed. “Been a little bumpy, as far as I can tell, but they’re hanging in there.” He related some of the things he’d seen and heard as they finished their lunch and moved to the living room. The afternoon was spent catching up, Steve sharing some of the story of his past year or two with her and Kono telling stories from work and life on the mainland.

“We could go by the office in the morning so you can meet some of my team,” Kono suggested. “I plan to take the day, show you some of the sights. When’s the last time you rode a bicycle?”

“Uh, probably in PT sometime, if you mean the stationery kind,” Steve laughed. “A real bike, that was probably more like high school. But I hear you never forget how, so I’m game.”

Kono grinned. “Or we can get out of the city and hike, if that’s more your speed, and if you’re not all hiked out after the past couple days. I know some good spots up in the Rockies, not too far out.”

Spending time with Kono was easy. She didn’t press him to talk about why he was drifting across the mainland rather than at home in Honolulu, but she didn’t avoid talking about their ohana or good times they’d had together, either. The only person she didn’t mention was Adam. Steve steered clear of mentioning him, too, aware that there wasn’t much he could say without tipping Kono off that things weren’t quite right there. They’d come to an understanding of sorts, he and Adam, though his trust had been shaken badly.

It wasn’t until they were driving back to Kono’s house with a delicious-smelling takeout meal from an old-school steakhouse in Denver that she asked. Steve was riding shotgun, mouth watering from the scents wafting out of the bag on the back seat. He was just tired enough from his long drive that he didn’t mind being a passenger for a little while. He was a little off guard, then, when Kono’s question broke the comfortable silence in the car. “How’s Adam doing?”

Her tone was more curious than anything else, Steve thought, but when he glanced over, he saw that Kono’s face was carefully blank. “He’s…” It had been on the tip of his tongue to just say Adam was okay, but was he? “Ah, it’s been a rough year for him, but he seemed better when I left.”

“He’s not still—” Kono fell quiet for a moment. “Tani and I talk now and then, since she still looks after my house. She mentioned he had a hard time after we split,” she said carefully.

Steve glanced over at her. “It’s not that,” he said at last. “Kono…” He sighed.

“I get that I’m not Five-0 anymore, boss, but we’re still ohana.” Kono looked over at him as they pulled up to a stoplight. “Or what, is it some bro code or something, you don’t want to discuss him with his ex?”

She sounded hurt. “You’re always gonna be Five-0,” Steve retorted. “And… no, actually, it wasn’t about some ‘bro code,’ though now that you mention it, it _is_ slightly awkward being in the middle here.” Steve reached over to nudge her, hoping his look took any sting out of those words. “Adam and I… we hit a rough patch a while back. I had to suspend him.”

Kono blinked. “For what?” The light changed, but she didn’t look away from him.

“For a massive lapse in judgment,” Steve replied. “He… opted to go rogue in a big way. And he didn’t tell me. I…”

“You thought he’d gone back to the Yakuza.” It wasn’t a question. Steve looked at her as they pulled away from the light.

“Kono—"

She cut him off with a laugh, but it sounded sad. “I can’t say the thought never crossed my mind before, Steve. You, Danny, and Chin, you all know that would be a lie.” She was right, but Steve hated that she’d ever had those kinds of doubts about the man she’d married. A thought occurred to him then, out of the blue (or maybe not); would that have been him, if he and Catherine had actually married? Would he ever have been able to trust her completely, or would he have spent their marriage, however long it lasted, waiting for her to lie? To leave him again?

It wasn’t the same situation, but Steve could see how if you didn’t have a rock-solid foundation of trust, whatever you tried to build with that other person would crumble. The only person who hadn’t lied to him, hadn’t left him, was Danny.

“Can I ask you a question, Kono?” Steve dug his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “Why’d you guys split?”

He thought for a long time she wasn’t going to answer. It wasn’t until they were approaching her street that she spoke again, her voice quiet. “I think the easiest answer is we wanted different things. Or—maybe a better way to explain it is we weren’t on the same timeline anymore. You know why I left Hawaii. I was still pretty consumed by the work, then. He wanted more of me than I had to give.” She paused. “He deserved more.” Kono pulled back into the driveway next to Steve’s rented Blazer and shut the car off. Then she gave him her trademark grin. Or tried. “That’s it.”

“You said you were still consumed then. Does that mean you’re not, now?” Steve watched her laugh softly.

“More or less.” Kono shrugged. “There are still those days. Those cases, you know. The ones that stick with you. But… yeah. Let’s say my whole work-life balance has been far more equitable lately.”

There was that grin, a flash of that irrepressible spirit. Steve grinned back. “Good for you.”

They were quiet as they let themselves back in the house with their dinner. After eating and winding down with a little more conversation, Steve called it an early night for himself and headed to the guest room to get ready for bed. It was cool already, but he opted against lighting a fire despite Kono’s invitation to. Once he’d brushed his teeth and changed into some shorts and a t-shirt for sleeping, Steve settled in the bed with the book he’d bought during one of his stops in San Francisco. _The Mirror and the Light_. His eyes had lit up when he spotted it on the shelf; Steve had enjoyed the first two books in the trilogy, and he was curious to find out how Hilary Mantel closed out the familiar tale.

He couldn’t seem to concentrate, though, and after catching himself rereading the same page three times he put the book aside and turned out the light. The evening had more or less distracted him from thinking about Danny, but predictably, as soon as he was alone those thoughts crept back in. Why wasn’t he replying? Was he really that mad?

Steve knew, when they said their goodbyes on the beach, that Danny was not happy with him. But he’d thought Danny understood why he had to go, at least. It wasn’t like it had been easy for him, Steve thought. Walking away from Danny and leaving him there on their beach, going and getting on that plane… that had been one of the hardest things Steve had ever done.

He blinked up at the ceiling, then turned on his side and burrowed deeper into the covers. If he’d stayed, Steve thought, it wouldn’t have solved anything. He’d still be restless, lost. No good to anybody. He’d almost gotten Danny killed, hadn’t he? Even though Steve knew that wasn’t true, he still felt sick whenever he remembered that day. The terror that had started the moment Danny had called to tell him he was being tailed, and that had skyrocketed when he heard gunshots, and then again when they found the Camaro in flames. The cold, sick fear in him that entire day as he played Daiyu Mei’s game, trying to get Danny back.

Steve dreamed of that ride to the hospital. He was in the backseat of his truck again, holding Danny to his chest and trying to keep pressure on that wound, keep Danny talking and fighting as they sped toward Tripler. Talking to him, begging him to stay with him. To stay awake just a little longer. Steve felt the weight of Danny’s body against his, the way that body that was constantly in motion felt wrong. Too lax. He smelled the sharp, metallic scent of blood, felt it seeping warm through his fingers and into his clothes as he tried desperately to make it stop. No, no no no _no_ , not him, don’t you _dare_ take him...

He woke with a gasp as Danny reached up, trying to touch him, pull him in. His heart was pounding and he was covered in cold sweat. Steve fought for breath as he sat bolt upright in bed, with no memory of getting into that position. No, he’d simply gone from immersed in the nightmare to this, trembling and breathing hard as he wrapped his arms around his knees.

Steve put his head down as he tried to regulate his breathing. Danny was safe. Danny was alive and on the mend back home in Hawaii. And pissed at him, apparently. But _alive_.

He tried to convince himself that knowing that was good enough as he got up and splashed some water on his face, then rinsed his mouth out to rid himself of the bitter taste of fear. Steve drank some water, then refilled the glass and carried it back to bed. He set it on the nightstand as he untangled the rumpled covers and slid back between the sheets.


	5. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

[Tuesday, March 17]

It was a long time before Steve had slept, and he tossed and turned the rest of the night. When he gave up at half-past six and stumbled out to the kitchen, Kono was already awake. And dressed for work, it looked like.

“I’m so sorry, Steve,” she said, disappointment etched across her face. “I got called in about half an hour ago. You know how it is.” She got down a couple of mugs and started pouring the coffee. “I don’t know when I’ll be home, but you’re welcome to stay.”

Steve gave her a one-armed hug. “I do know, yeah. No worries.” He managed a sleepy smile. “I think I’m gonna head up to Montana, actually, and check on things at Joe’s place. Maybe I can catch you on my way back through.” He leaned against the counter then.

“I’d like that,” Kono agreed.

He watched her doctor up her coffee, adding milk and sugar. “Thank you, by the way. For having me stay, and for dinner last night.”

“I thought we agreed you didn’t need to thank me.” Kono handed him the other mug of coffee and pushed a container of butter--organic, grass fed--and a stick blender in his direction. She’d remembered. Steve grinned as he scooped a dollop into his coffee and blended it in. “If you don’t make it back through this time, then summer, for sure. Waimea, Sunset Beach. Hell, maybe even Pipeline.”

Steve snorted at that. “I might sit Pipeline out and just watch the professional in action. But yeah, this summer. If I’m back, you’re on.” He pulled Kono into a hug. “Be safe out there.”

“You too, bossman,” Kono replied, squeezing him back. “And go easy on Danny, okay?”

He took Kono's offer of hand sanitizer and toilet paper ("I promise, I can get more, Steve. I've got sources.") and some nonperishable food before hitting the road. As he drove, Steve listened to the radio and heard Denver had opted to shut down restaurant dining rooms and bars to help curb the spread of the virus. Their decision to get takeout the night before seemed even wiser. Another vote in favor of getting out of the city, he mused as he headed north toward Roundup, Montana. Joe White's ranch.

The drive itself was uneventful but the scenery took his breath away. For not the first time on this trip, Steve wondered what it must be like to live here, to wake up and see the Rocky Mountains every day. Hawaii had mountains, islands born of volcanoes but these were on a different level entirely, an unending chain he wove around until the landscape flattened out again in eastern Wyoming.

Steve wasn't sure what shape Joe's place would be in; he hadn't been there since he'd avenged Joe and his former teammates, and while the neighboring ranch was taking care of the horses, he was sure no one had been inside the house for over a year. Twice he stopped off in stores to get more supplies and was stunned at what he saw. Rows of empty shelves; nearly all the things on his list were missing, and he left a little shaken at what was happening across the country. 

But thanks to Chin and Kono, he had enough basic necessities to get by until the closest stores managed to restock, if he stayed that long. While he didn’t mind roughing it some of the time, this trip was also about treating himself well. Steve figured toilet paper fell under that heading. As did warm clothes. The temperature dropped noticeably as he drove north, his weather app predicting temperatures below freezing for Montana over the next few nights. Stopping for some lunch in Casper, Wyoming, Steve picked up a couple pairs of sweats, some thermal shirts, socks, and another hoodie to alternate with the one that had caught his eye at a souvenir shop in Moab. It occurred to him that his duffel was going to be full before long at this rate, so he bought a new backpack, too. 

Steve listened to news radio for an hour or two until it just became repetitive, his subconscious trying to solve potential problems his hometown might be experiencing. Eventually he put Tani's playlist back on and debated if he needed to turn the heater on in the Blazer as the outside temperature dropped to the low 40s.

It was after seven in the evening and bitterly cold when he pulled off the highway and onto the unpaved road that led toward Joe White's ranch. Memories began to flood back as Steve stepped out and closed the door to the Blazer behind him. He exhaled slowly, seeing his breath as the sharp, cold air filled his lungs and he made his way inside the dark house, flashlight in hand.

Nothing had changed since the last time he was here. Joe had left the property to Steve in his will, and after his death Steve had intended to have someone local come by and get it ready to sell. But one thing after another kept that from happening and Steve continued to put it off. Maybe that was a good thing after all, he mused, making his way through the small house, checking out all the rooms out of habit. The house was out of the way and safe from the pandemic. No electricity, but there was a generator in the barn that he could set up in the morning after the sun rose, and he found a lantern that would supply some light in the meantime. Several cords of firewood were stacked on the back porch--he was pretty sure he’d chopped most of it himself, in those bleak days after Joe’s death when he’d cleaned up and repaired the house and plotted to avenge him and the other guys--and soon there was a roaring fire in the fireplace, warming the main room enough to be comfortable. 

Cell service was nonexistent, so after dinner Steve dug his book out of his backpack and tried to read by lantern light before bed, but he couldn't concentrate. For the first time on his trip, it wasn't thoughts of Danny that kept him up, but Joe. Memories flooded back, but Steve found himself focusing more on his friendship with Joe and their good times together than what happened when he was last here. 

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there reminiscing with the book open in his lap, but when the fire died he put it aside, made sure the fire was banked, and crawled into bed.

[Wednesday March 18]

Early the next morning, Steve layered on some of Joe's warm clothes and a heavy jacket and wandered out to the barn through a light snowfall and got the generator going. Just in time it seemed. Dave Ferris, the retired Army general who owned the neighboring ranch, had taken in Joe's horses after Steve left last year and he rode by that morning, checking to see who was on the property. According to him, it was going to be a cold couple of days. Steve agreed to swing by at some point to talk about horses, and maybe even the possibility of the general buying the land from Steve. 

But that afternoon, as he rode around the ranch on a borrowed horse, Steve began to wonder what it would be like to stay here for a while, make this his home. It was certainly peaceful, with Ferris, the closest neighbor, a few miles down the road, nothing else but rolling hills and trees and wide open spaces. The land was beautiful and so different from Hawaii, and wasn't that what he needed right now?

With the generator running he could take care of some chores inside the house that he’d put off the night before. After his ride, Steve put the rest of his groceries and supplies away and then started a load of laundry, washing his new clothes and the dirty ones from his bag. As he cleaned and put things away his thoughts turned to Joe again. He’d wanted so much for Steve, he could see that now. Joe had always pushed him hard, both in the Navy and before, when he’d just been Uncle Joe, his dad’s old friend. But he’d tried to get Steve to think about life beyond the Navy, too. He encouraged him to ask Catherine out, back in the day. And then… last year, here in Montana, he’d made Steve promise to not end up like him. To find someone and have a life. 

And yet here he was. Alone. Maybe Steve just wasn’t cut out for that kind of life. Too many people left, or there was another battle to fight, or the battles he’d already fought came home to roost and people he loved died. He didn’t want anyone else to die for him. Because of him. 

_You can’t shut yourself away from every good thing. That’s not how life works._ The angry retort in his head sounded a hell of a lot like Danny Williams, though the sentiment reminded him a lot of his Aunt Deb, too. Steve supposed that was appropriate, the two people who’d worried most about him having a normal, happy life. 

Steve sighed as he leaned against the kitchen counter and stared out the window toward the Blazer without really seeing it. He was just so _tired_. Tired of constantly dealing in blood and death and three letter agencies, drugs and human trafficking and all of the nastiest, ugliest things humanity could conjure up. Tired of having old ops and closed cases come back to bite him or someone important to him. 

But he was tired of being alone, too.

[Thursday March 19]

After breakfast Steve set out to survey the boundaries of the ranch on horseback. He'd made it to the far edge of the property line when all of a sudden his phone began to buzz. _Guess I found a place with service,_ he chuckled to himself as he got off the horse and began scrolling through the messages from the past few days on his phone. A selfie from Junior and Tani, Kono making sure he arrived okay. A message from Lou that was nothing but a link to a video of a dancing otter. Still nothing from Danny but several messages from Rachel, and a voicemail. _Rachel?_

Steve’s brow wrinkled as he opened those, his stomach knotted in worry. Rachel rarely contacted him unless she couldn’t get hold of Danny, and for just a moment his mind was jumping ahead, taking that worry and running with it. What if something had happened to Danny? A setback in his recovery. Or, and his jaw tightened as he thought of it, what if they’d missed someone when they rounded up Daiyu Mei’s people, and they’d come back to finish the job? He tried to shake those bleak thoughts off and tapped on the messages. 

> **Danny didn't want me to contact you but I don't know who else to go to. Grace is stuck in Chicago and we can't get to her and we can't get her out. I'm in London and they won't let me fly back to the US. Danny's trying to get her to his parents’ house in New Jersey. They can't go get her until the weekend.**
> 
> **Her roommates have left and she's alone in her apartment. Is there any way you can go check on her until her grandparents make it there to get her?**
> 
> **I'm sorry, I don't know what else to do.**

Steve took a screenshot of Rachel's text messages and sent them to Danny. 

> **What's going on with Grace?**

He barely refrained from adding

> **and why didn’t you want Rachel to contact me?**

It was a little after five in the morning in Honolulu so Steve didn't expect a reply for a few hours, if at all. But lo and behold, Danny responded, the first time since Steve had walked off the airplane. He stared at that ellipsis at the bottom of the screen and waited for Danny’s response.

> **I'm working on it. Flights to Hawaii cancelled, Rachel is stuck in London. Trying to get her on a train to my parents.**
> 
> **Don't worry about it. I'm sorry she bothered you.**

Stubborn ass. Steve gave a frustrated growl. A train sounded just as dangerous right now as an airplane and a couple quick internet searches told him that Amtrak was cancelling trains left and right, too. 

Steve calculated the time difference between the ranch and London, figuring that it was around four in the afternoon there. 

> **Thanks for letting me know, Rach. I’ll be in Chicago tomorrow.**

> **Thank you, Steven. That puts my mind at ease.**

His text to Danny was shorter. 

> **I got it. Don't worry.**

> **What do you mean don't worry? You got what?**

He had already made his decision, though, and he mounted up to ride back to the house. Within an hour the Blazer was packed down and Steve had returned the horse to General Ferris with a brief explanation. He was kind enough to give Steve a lift back to pick up the Blazer, and then he was on his way east to Chicago before it really sank in that he’d dropped everything the minute he read those texts from Rachel. But it was _Gracie_. Of course he had to go.

Steve hadn’t packed everything; he left most of the bulky cold weather clothes and food, though he made sure that any perishables either went to the neighbor’s or were thrown out. He did pack some of the camping equipment, figuring he could scout out some more campgrounds after he’d seen Grace safely to her grandparents in Jersey. Camping seemed a safer option than staying in hotels, anyway. 

He also made sure to bring the masks, hand sanitizer, and some of the scarcer supplies he’d collected, topping off both containers of water. Steve knew Grace was smart and blessed with an abundance of common sense, but he’d seen how bare the shelves were. Better to have the supplies than get to Chicago and find the same situation or worse. 

Being back in the Blazer so soon, back on the road, felt oddly appropriate to Steve. He’d had those thoughts about staying at the ranch, but the cold weather, he suspected, would cease being a novelty when he had generator trouble or had to clear some serious snowfall to get around. He was an island boy, the warmth and sunshine of home deep in his bones. Going to the other extreme… he wasn’t sure if he wanted that. So here he was, driving again. Untethered, for the moment, except for the connection pulling him toward Chicago and Grace. 

The scenery was still outstanding, as the Black Hills gave way to the Badlands. Steve hadn’t seen so much of his own country before, usually flying from point-to-point across the mainland during his time at the academy and the service. And yet he felt that urgent need to get to Grace, to make sure she was safe, get her to her grandparents. So he stopped only when he had to, grabbing a snack and a bottle of water after filling up the Blazer and using the restroom. Steve didn’t want to waste time. 

_You drive like a maniac._

Steve laughed despite himself. He'd never be rid of that voice in the back of his head no matter how far he traveled, that grumpy, short-tempered muttering that had become a part of him. That voice wasn't wrong, but Steve wanted to take advantage of the 80 miles per hour speed limit across Montana and South Dakota and get to Grace as fast as he could. 

Even so, after ten hours behind the wheel he was wise enough to know that he would have to break the journey for at least a few hours’ rest. Google told him that most official campgrounds in the state were closing. Steve didn't know Sioux Falls well enough to find a place to set up his tent, especially once the sun went down, and the idea of sleeping in a hotel or motel room with the potential for germs everywhere suddenly wasn't appealing, so he pulled into a truck stop parking lot and slept in the Blazer that night. 

[Friday March 20]

The next day, Steve woke up with the sun, and after picking up some coffee and breakfast at a local drive-thru he headed east down Interstate 90 for the eight hour drive toward the Windy City and the closest thing to a daughter that he'd ever have.

Steve had been in Chicago a handful of times in his life, but he had never imagined seeing the busy city so empty, especially on a weekday. The deserted streets were haunting, unsettling Steve as he drove and listened to the news on the radio. The governor of Illinois had ordered a shelter in place beginning the following day, which probably contributed to the lack of traffic, but that didn't make Steve feel any better; it did, however, reinforce that he'd made the right decision in coming to get Grace and take her to Danny’s folks. This wasn't the place for a young woman to be all by herself, with no supplies and no family nearby in the middle of a pandemic.

The cold front had followed him from Montana, the temperature outside his Blazer reading 33°F. Pulling up to a row of brown brick townhouses in Hyde Park, Steve parked near Grace's apartment and looked around. It was gray and cold, and while the view of downtown Chicago was amazing, he wondered, not for the first time, why Grace had chosen to go to school so far away from home. 

Rachel had told Steve that her roommates were gone and Grace was alone, but just in case he put on his mask and walked up to her door. He rang the doorbell and stuck his hands in his pockets as he waited to keep them warm.

"I told my mom you didn't need to come," Grace said by way of a greeting when she opened the door, but she reached out and hugged him tight. She'd only been gone from Hawaii for a year--slightly less, actually, he realized--but Steve couldn't get over how grown up his Gracie Grace looked. "I'm fine,” she added. “I don't need to leave. And you can take that off if you want."

He followed her into her apartment, tucking his mask into his pocket and looking around at the mismatched furniture and other telltale signs of student living. "Come on, Grace, do it for your folks. I know how capable you are," he told her, as he walked around and did a quick assessment of the place. "But everyone will feel better if you're with some family." All of a sudden he heard the toilet flush in the bathroom and he turned toward that direction. Steve looked back at her, eyebrows up. "You got company?" he asked.

A tall boy with light brown skin walked out, drying his hands on his jeans. "Hey," he said, starting to extend his hand toward Steve before halting, an apologetic smile as he pulled back. "I'm Alex. Nice to meet you."

Steve looked over at Grace as if to say, _Oh, I get it now._ "Good to meet you, Alex. I'm Steve. You a student at the university too?"

"Architecture," Alex answered. "Sophomore." Taking a deep breath, he looked back at Grace, a fond expression on his face. "Is he here to take you to New Jersey?"

"I don't need to go," Grace reiterated to both of them. She crossed her arms. "My roommates have already gone home, but that's okay. I have groceries and my Ventra card and I can stay put and study and work on whatever it is I need to until everything settles down. Both of you can stop worrying."

Steve sensed some discord between them. "You leaving town, Alex?" he asked. 

Alex nodded. "My folks will be here in the morning. Taking everything back to Dallas, since it doesn't look like school will start back up this quarter." Looking over at Grace, Alex said, "I told her that she should start packing and be ready when someone comes to get her. No sense in staying here by herself."

"I'm not scared," Grace began.

"Hey, It's got nothing to do with being scared. I know how strong you are. I helped raise you," Steve said, putting his hand on her shoulder and giving her a squeeze. "But this is something bigger than we've seen in a long time, and we all need family and resources right now." 

"It'll just be harder for you to get home later if you don't go now," Alex added. 

Steve moved his hand from Grace's shoulder to Alex’s. "I like this guy. He sounds smart," Steve said, smiling at them both. Grace didn't look happy, that grumpy face reminding him so much of Danny right now. "Grace,” Steve said quietly. “I owe it to your dad to make sure you're safe."

She frowned at that, but Steve saw that mentioning Danny had gotten through to her. “Fine.” Oh, that annoyed huff when she spat that word out was just like his partner, and Steve missed him tremendously just then. “I guess that means I should start packing.” She looked around, her expression turning resigned and then thoughtful. “I can’t take everything, obviously.” Then she looked back at Steve, a faint grin on her face. “Unless you came prepared with a U-Haul or something.” 

Steve chuckled and shook his head. “Nope, sorry. I kind of left in a hurry. But you’ve got roughly half the space in a Chevy Blazer, if that helps. And I’m good at packing and carrying things, as you know.” 

Grace snorted, but she didn’t look quite as upset. “My books and laptop, for sure. And some clothes, enough for at least for a couple weeks, I guess.” Then she reached out to rest her hand on the back of the sofa. “But what do I do? Just tell the landlord I’m leaving?” 

Steve nodded. “That’s a good start. They might want to shut some of the utilities off or at least monitor your apartment a little more closely. And we should clean out the refrigerator, get rid of anything that’ll spoil. Take out the trash.” 

“I can help pack,” Alex offered. “My place is pretty much done already, just got to load up when my parents get in.” He glanced at Steve. “Were you thinking you’d leave tonight, or…” 

Steve shook his head. “In the morning. I just drove eighteen hours to get here from Montana. Caught a few hours of sleep at a truck stop, but I’ll need some rest before we head out.” And a shower, he thought grimly.

“You’re welcome to sleep on the couch,” Grace began. “I mean, it’s not very comfortable. I’m pretty sure there’s a broken spring or two. Or you could have Hallie or Lucy’s room. They wouldn’t mind.” Steve pretended not to see the subsequent silent conversation that took place between Alex and Grace, but he couldn’t help noticing the stubborn set to Grace’s jaw. Again, like Danny.

“Wherever’s convenient,” Steve said. “I’ve got camping gear with me, too, so I can always just bring in my sleeping bag.” He decided to give the two a moment. “Tell you what, why don’t I go grab my backpack, and then we can get started on the packing and maybe get everything loaded up before dinner. Then pizza’s on me. How’s that sound? Alex, you in?” 

Alex was in, so they spent the next hour and a half getting Grace's apartment ready just in case she wasn't going to return the following quarter. They got most of her clothes in her luggage and a few garbage bags, and packed up all of her school books, her computer, and anything else she would need to finish her classes online. Kitchen items all stayed, along with the furniture, but Steve trashed any food in the fridge that they didn't have room for in his cooler, confiscating two beers for himself. 

Steve found the apartment manager's office and spoke to her about Grace's apartment being empty for a while. Apparently both Danny and Hallie's parents had called as well, so there was no issue about rent being paid while they were all gone, their possessions safe until the girls returned, whenever that would be. "Most of the kids have already left," she said behind her mask, stapling her business card to some paperwork and handing it to Steve. He thanked her and headed back to the apartment.

Walking inside, he caught them standing in the kitchen having what looked like an intense conversation, Grace blinking her eyes quickly. "Everything okay?" he asked, feeling both like an intruder and a father figure. 

Alex held up his phone. "My parents made it to town early. We're gonna be doing the same thing tonight at my apartment." Looking back at Grace, he smiled sadly. "I was just telling her that I'd call her tomorrow before we left." 

"Got it," Steve murmured. "Good to meet you," he said, "and have a safe trip back to Texas." He left the room after that to give them some privacy, and after he heard the door close Steve poked his head back in. "You okay, sweetheart?"

Grace sighed deeply, then gave Steve a tired smile. "Yeah. Just..." she shrugged, looking like she wasn't all that fine. "Gonna miss him, you know?"

"He seems like a good guy," Steve replied, wondering how much Danny knew about this boyfriend. "It's different from when I was your age. You kids, you got these smartphones and computers, you can talk to him anytime you want, even, you know," Steve held an imaginary phone in front of his face, "look at each other."

Grace laughed and he put his arm around her. "You're so goofy, Steve." She leaned in for a one armed hug. "Thanks for coming to get me."

He kissed the top of her head. “Always, Gracie.” Steve smiled at her. “I’ve always got your back.” 

It didn't take long to finish packing up the Blazer with Grace's things. She ordered them pizza and they had a relatively quiet dinner together, Grace telling Steve about what it had been like the last couple weeks in Chicago. But the long drive and the cold weather had Steve feeling worn down fairly early. Given the knowledge they had another long drive ahead of them the next day, he stretched out on the sofa and was asleep within minutes of hugging Grace goodnight, sleeping so deeply that he missed the call from Danny later that night. No voicemail, but a text message. 

> **I owe you one.**


	6. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

[Saturday March 21]

"You could've slept in one of the other beds," Grace maintained as they headed east early the next morning. She tore apart a croissant that she'd picked up with her Starbucks coffee that morning. "They wouldn't've minded, I told you."

Steve shrugged, taking a sip from his own cup. "Felt weird. The sofa was fine." There had been a spring that poked him in the back but he had been too tired to be bothered by it. At least, until he woke up and realized just how Danny must’ve felt sleeping on the couch in Steve’s living room all those times. Whenever he got home, Steve mused, maybe he should look into replacing it at last. It was sort of a hand-me-down, too, something his dad had chosen. "So, tell me about Alex," he asked, picking up on a conversation he started last night but was too tired to continue. "He seems nice."

Grace grinned. "He is. We met right before Christmas at a party. I like him a lot."

She fell quiet after that, and when Steve glanced over she looked sad. He thought about the way he’d seen Alex looking at her the night before. That little girl with the pigtails who’d built sandcastles on the beach in his backyard was getting so grown up, and Steve reached out to catch her hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “You two getting serious, then?”

“Yeah. Maybe,” Grace said with a shrug, but she smiled a little.

“Has Danno met him?” Steve asked.

Grace laughed softly. “No. He’d be like he was when Will and I got together. Maybe worse,” she reflected. But she was smiling. “Mom met him though, when she stopped over on her way to London.”

Yes, Steve reflected, Danny probably would be worse, aware that his little girl was off by herself in the big city, not so little any more. “That’s good, that your mom met Alex. But you’ve told Danno about him?”

“Yeah. I mean, he knows we’re going out. Where he’s from. That he’s nice.” She gave Steve a look. “He also said to make sure that Alex treats me right, because if not he’d have Danno and my big, bad Uncle Steve to worry about. And probably the rest of Five-0, too, am I right?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Steve told her, dead serious.

Grace gave him a smile that looked equal parts fond and exasperated. “He does.” Steve relaxed a little as he focused his full attention back on the road. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Grace take a long drink of her coffee. Then she piped up again. “Besides, if he ever doesn’t, he’ll have to answer to _me_. Just like you and Danno taught me.”

Steve grinned, then. “Atta girl.”

Grace began fiddling with her phone and the Blazer's audio system, then. "I think this will be the longest car ride I've ever been on," she said a moment later, clearly pleased when she synced them together.

Steve laughed. "Really?"

She nodded. "I grew up in Hawaii, after all. Not exactly known for long distance driving, at least not like this." Soon her music started playing, and she began texting. "I told Grandma that we'd probably be there close to eight their time, factoring in stops for bathroom and eating." A minute later she added, "I texted my mom and Danno that we were on our way. Mom says thank you again." Grace paused a beat. "You heard from Danno yet?"

Steve nodded. Yes, he’d replied to that text Danny had sent him.

"Good," Grace sighed, turning and watching the landscape out the window start to change.

After a few hours Steve noticed a familiar set of songs playing. "I recognize these," he said, nodding his head in time with some Run DMC. "This is what your dad plays in his car."

"When he gets to drive it?" Grace laughed. "I put these playlists together for him."

"You make these?" Steve asked, impressed. "He just tells you what he wants?"

"Yep." Grace laughed loud. “He’s a white boy from New Jersey. Springsteen, Bon Jovi, 90’s hip hop. Such a stereotype, it’s disappointing but not difficult. Some surprises in there too, R&B, some indie rock." She grinned, turning toward Steve. "I don't even need his phone, just his password.”

"That's sweet of you."

“Well, I think so," Grace agreed. "New stuff, too. He tells me that he likes a song that he hears, and I add it to his playlists, and some others that I think he’d like." Reaching into her bag of snacks, Grace pulled out a bag of barbeque chips, opening them and offering some to Steve. “Charlie and I keep him young, he says, so he doesn’t become one of those 'old farts' who only listens to stuff from when they were a kid. Like _some_ people we know.” Grace picked up her phone, sliding her finger around and soon “Brandy, You’re a Fine Girl” [started](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVzsQ-RiT9U).

Steve broke out into a wide grin. “Hey, I like this song.”

Giving Steve an amused look, Grace said, “I know.”

After a few more similar songs, Steve realized that this playlist was filled with his older, mellow music. “Now this, this is the good stuff.”

“Yeah, this playlist is literally called ‘Steve's music’." She paused. "Can I ask you a question? Why this old sappy stuff? Danno says it's all you listen to.”

Why did he like it? A memory hit him with a force he hadn’t expected. “I, um, I guess these songs, they remind me of my parents,” he said slowly. “You know that car in my garage, the Marquis?”

“My God, is it still in your garage?”

“Shut up,” he laughed good-naturedly. “Yes, it’s there. Probably always will be. Anyway, I remember driving in it, when I was little. My mom and dad, we’d go for drives around the island and I’d sit in the backseat and just look out the windows. Mom would sing sometimes, and...” Now it was Steve’s turn to get sad and quiet. “I guess that music just reminds me of that time. Things were good. Life was easier.”

Grace turned toward him, her face serious for a moment. "I heard about your mom. I'm so sorry."

Somehow, hearing those sympathetic words from Grace, they didn't seem quite as hollow as they did from the others. "Thanks, Monkey," Steve told her. "I appreciate that, more than you know." Then she was smiling at him.

“What?” he asked, grinning back.

“I miss you, Uncle Steve. I really do.”

"Next exit, you'll want to get off and stay on the right." It was just after noon when they reached Ohio. All the sit-down restaurants were closed, so Grace navigated them toward an exit near Amherst that had a few fast food restaurants where they could just park and eat in the car before they filled up the gas tank and hit the road again. "So how is Danno doing, really? When I heard what happened I wanted to go home and see him, but both my parents told me that I should stay at school, study for midterms." She gave a bitter laugh. "As if I could concentrate. He sounded so _tired_ when I called. But it's an expensive school, as he likes to point out." She looked at Steve, all that worry back in her eyes. "He's really okay?"

Steve paused, thinking about what his best friend had been through this spring. "He's healing, honey. He’s almost completely better. It was, um, well," Steve didn't want to tell her how bad it had been, but she wasn't dumb. "When I left him, he was sitting on the beach getting some sun and enjoying the day. He's okay."

Grace stared at him. Steve signaled and moved over into the exit lane, then caught the look on her face. "What? It's true. I wouldn't bullshit you, Gracie Grace."

She gave a soft snort and sighed. "No, you never did. You shoulda been a dad, with a bunch of kids of your own."

"Kids?" Steve repeated as he pulled off the interstate. "I do have kids. You and Charlie," he said, reaching over and touching her arm. "You, you're my best girl."

Grace smiled at that soft touch. "Co-parenting with my dad," she grinned. "Those were always the best times, getting to hang out with you guys on the weekend." But Grace shook her head as they pulled off the highway. "You two shoulda gotten together years ago. What happened?"

Steve straightened, uncomfortable at this turn of conversation. It was one thing being chastised about his relationship with Danny by Catherine, or gently prodded by Chin and Kono. It was entirely different-- _awkward_ \--coming from his daughter. "Grace..."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not blind, Steve. I had eyes. It really wasn't that hard to miss, the fact that you two sometimes... you know…" she gave him a wry smile and made some kissing noises.

Steve ignored her as he pulled into a Steak and Shake. “This all right?” he observed. Steve felt the back of his neck burning. Just what had Grace seen, he wondered? Kissing, obviously, but when? "Burgers sound good?"

"Sounds fine. But you didn't answer my question."

"It's complicated." He unbuckled and busied himself collecting the trash bag and adding some stray odds and ends to it before he slid out of the Blazer.

"Love usually is, that's what the songs say." Grace was persistent, just like her father. Steve would give her that, he thought, as they walked toward the building. He dropped the trash in a can on the sidewalk, but Grace was a few steps ahead of him and when she turned and shook her head as she walked back toward him, he knew instantly. Of course they couldn’t go inside to order. They trooped back to the Blazer and went through the drive-thru to order their lunch. Grace didn't broach the subject again until they were back in the same parking space with their burgers and shakes. "What really happened with you guys?" she asked, pulling out a handful of the shoestring french fries and blowing on them.

"I'm not gonna be able to avoid this, am I?" Steve asked around a mouthful of burger.

"Not with six or eight more hours on the road ahead of us." Grace offered him a napkin.

Steve wiped his mouth and hesitated before he spoke. "Sometimes… too much time goes by and you miss your chance."

"Is that why you're doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"This," she waved her hand around her at the Blazer. "I mean, other people have a midlife crisis, they go out and buy a convertible or date someone a lot younger.”

"That's not what this is."

"Uh huh. You sure? I know you had a rough year, but you had people there who care about you. What are you doing over here?"

Steve frowned. “I just… It _was_ a really hard couple of years, Grace,” he admitted at last. “Danno asked me that, too, sort of. What I was looking for, why I was going.”

“And?”

“Peace.” Steve let out a long, slow breath. “I told him I needed to find some peace.”

Grace stared at him again. “And you thought you’d find it here? On the mainland? Not with Danno?”

"You know, your dad isn't hurting for company. He dates too. Hell, Grace," he said, exasperated, "he's always trying to set me up. Why would he do that if he wanted…"

The look she gave him was cutting. "Steve."

"What."

"You know why he does that."

"Enlighten me."

She looked out the passenger side window at the parking lot. A minivan pulled in several spaces away, probably doing the same thing they were doing. A man stepped out of the driver's side, opening the back door where a small girl scrambled out, stretching her legs. A woman walked around the other side carrying another child as her husband moved to the back of the van to let out a restless-looking Labrador and clip a leash to its harness. “He’s… sentimental. All he ever wanted was a big family, you know? He came from a big Irish-Italian family and all he wanted was a nice house and a lot of kids and someone to love.” She was quiet for a moment as the minivan family finished stretching their legs and walking the dog and drove away. “And now he’s spent ten years bouncing from apartment to apartment five thousand miles from his home. Living on your fucking couch.”

Steve didn’t respond right away, ignoring the profanity and taking a drink from his shake. He also thought it wise to refrain from pointing out that for a good portion of that time, Danny had had a perfectly serviceable house. “Okay.”

“ _Steve_.” From her tone, Grace clearly was aware he still didn’t get it. “He doesn’t want you to be alone too. If it can’t be him, then...” she shrugged. “He sets you up so maybe you can have that happy ending that he missed out on.”

Whatever he’d thought she was going to hit him with, that wasn’t it. Steve stared at her, his milkshake forgotten in his hand. “But. Why would he _do_ that, Grace?” His brow furrowed as he thought it over. “Why would he think that it couldn’t be him?”

It was an interesting theory. But the more Steve thought about it, the sadder he got. He finished his food, then ate the rest of her fries when she offered them, frowning as he mulled over her words. “I dunno, Gracie,” Steve said at last. “Maybe you’re right, but… what if it’s still too late, anyway?” He recalled that note he found, the heart and the phone number. “I mean, he’s got his own life. Things he doesn’t tell me about.”

“There’s only one way to find out.” Grace twisted around to lean her back against the passenger door. “Don’t ask, don’t get, my Nanna says.”

Steve gave her a long look. “When did you grow up and get so wise?”

“I’ve always been wise,” Grace retorted with a smile. She started gathering their lunch trash. “I’ll go throw this away so we can get going. Do you want a break from driving? I can take a turn.”

He considered. On one hand, it was a rental and Grace was not an authorized driver. On the other, Steve knew she was a good driver. He’d helped teach her, after all. “Yeah, you can drive for a few hours. But if we get into heavy traffic or you get tired, we’ll switch back over.” Steve got out to get his hoodie from his bag and rearrange a few boxes in the back while Grace disposed of the trash. When she came jogging back over, he held out the keys. “It’s pretty much the same as my truck,” he pointed out as they adjusted their seats--Grace pulling the driver’s seat up, and him pushing the passenger seat back. “So you should have no problem with anything.”

“Remember when Danno let me drive the Camaro that first time?” Grace asked as she adjusted the mirrors and started the ignition. They both laughed. Yes, Steve remembered that. Danny had been so nervous about his baby girl driving his car. Grace grinned. “Does he cringe like that when you drive?”

“Nah, not too much any more,” Steve recalled with a smile. “Only when things got really intense in a chase, lately, really.” He was watchful as Grace pulled them out of the parking lot and they got back on the road, but relaxed a little more once they were on their way. “So, I don’t think we’ve ever talked about this, but why Chicago? I thought you were thinking about studying marine biology at UH.”

Grace nodded. “Yeah, I was. It was a really tough decision, but I got interested in engineering the last couple of years of high school. And I’d like to go back home and live in Hawaii, so I figured going to college somewhere else would be a good experience.” She smiled as she glanced over at him. “Honestly, I liked all the places Danno and I visited. Rutgers would’ve been okay, ‘cause then I’d be near Grandma and Grandpa and everyone. And Berkeley, I mean, it’s a great school, even if I didn’t get in, and it’s not that far from San Francisco so I could’ve caught up with Uncle Chin now and then.” She shrugged. “It’s…”

Steve had been watching her as she talked, so proud of her for the hard work she’d put in, the schools she’d had to choose from in the end. And for the maturity of her decision, wanting to see a little more of the world before she settled down. But when she hesitated, something on her face made his brow wrinkle. “It’s what?”

Grace glanced over. “Um. Step-Stan, we still talk. I mean, he came to the house last Thanksgiving, too, whatever that was about.” Steve couldn’t hold back a snort. Grace nodded sagely. “Yeah. Anyway…” She shrugged. “I know… Danno never liked him, obviously. But he was always really nice to me. And he keeps up. We text, or talk now and then. And same with Charlie, they say hi now and then, though I think it’s probably weirder for Charlie, because... you know.”

Oh boy, did he. “I can see that being a little weird, yeah,” Steve agreed. “But I’m glad you keep in touch. Glad he keeps up with both of you.” Stan had his good points, Steve had always known that. He had been a father to both of those kids for a while, and Steve was glad that whatever his relationship with Rachel was now, Stan still made the effort to be a part of their lives.

“It’s nice,” Grace admitted. “So… Chicago was where Step-Stan went to school, and he was really helpful, connecting me with some professors he knew there so I could ask questions and giving me good advice about where to live and just… general tips on where to go in the city. Things like that. He’s helping with tuition, too.”

“That’s great, Gracie,” Steve told her. “I mean, I’d have done the same, you know that, if you’d been interested in the Naval Academy.” They’d talked about that, before, his college experience, and he’d answered all of Grace’s questions, though Steve knew it hadn’t been on her radar as a serious option and he would never, ever have pushed her toward it.

Grace smiled. “I know you would. But I think Danno would still be mad at us both if I’d actually done that.”

“Probably,” Steve conceded with a laugh. “He used to get pissed enough at the Navy on my behalf.”

Grace shook her head. “Of course he did. Have they ever, since we met, sent you home in one piece?” Her tone was fierce, and Steve reached over to pat her on the arm. He loved this girl so much, especially when those glimpses of Danny shone through.

“Now that you mention it, I don’t think so,” Steve admitted slowly. “But that’s not all the Navy’s fault, Gracie Grace. Some of that’s on me.”

This time it was Grace’s turn to snort. And then they exchanged another glance and were both cracking up. She’d sounded just like her father. “Okay,” Steve conceded, when they both caught their breath. “Maybe more than some.”

The remainder of the drive was fairly uneventful, just long stretches of hills and mountains as they got into Pennsylvania, with the occasional Amish horse-drawn buggy visible on the side-roads as they got deeper into the state. When they stopped for snacks and a bathroom break a few hours later they switched seats again, traffic picking up as they neared the eastern end of the state.

“Where are they all going?” Grace wondered, looking up from her phone as they sat idling in a traffic jam. “Everything’s closed.” It was a good question, Steve thought. Whenever they checked in on the news, it was talking about another closure. The need to “flatten the curve.”

They sat a while longer, until Grace picked up his phone from the console and reached for his hand. “What?” Steve asked, watching as she pressed his thumb to the button to unlock it.

“I added to your playlist, and I want to share it with you,” she said simply. “Do you have Spotify?”

“No?” Steve had no idea. “Unless that’s what Tani used for the playlist she gave me.”

“Hmm.” Grace busied herself swiping through his apps. Steve was suddenly relieved he’d put his foot down and refused to get any dating apps when Danny had been trying to set him up with half the island. “You’ve got like three music apps on here. Want me to make everything simpler?”

“Go for it,” Steve told her. Then he considered for a moment longer. “If you need to download anything for money, be kind. Just give me the grand total at the end.”

Grace laughed.


	7. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

[Saturday March 21, continued]

They didn’t lose too much time sitting in traffic, but it was still late when Steve turned into the driveway of a comfortable-looking two-story house, white with black shutters, in an older neighborhood off of Mount Prospect Avenue. "This it?" he asked, but the smile on her face told him that they'd made it to the Williams home. That and the lovely blonde woman who stepped onto the porch and waved at them, making her way to the passenger side of the car and pulling Grace into a tight hug. 

"I'm so glad you're here," Clara Williams said, holding Grace's face in her hands. "I just washed them," she grinned, then hugged Grace again as she looked over at Steve. "Thank you again, Commander, for bringing her to us."

“Please,” Steve said. “We know each other well enough by now for you to call me Steve, I hope.” He smiled at Danny’s mother. “And you don’t have to thank me. Anything for Grace.” For Danny, too. And, if he were honest, for the rest of Danny’s family.

Danny's father had made it out by this time, and he reached over and offered to shake Steve's hand before pulling it back. "Guess we're not doing that anymore," Eddie Williams remembered as he nodded at Steve. "You made good time?"

Steve nodded, pulling out Grace's luggage and handing some of it to her grandfather. "Not too bad. Almost no traffic until we got close." He followed them into their warm house, snug and homey in a way that reminded Steve very much of Danny. It was full of comfortable-looking furniture, a familiar mix of 80s and 90s styles that somehow made it seem cozy, where his father’s house had seemed cold when he arrived back in Hawaii ten years before and found it had remained virtually the same since he and Mary had been sent away. Here, there were photographs everywhere of all the Williamses’ children and grandchildren at various times in their lives, and he spotted a more recent group of several of Danny with Grace and Charlie on a bookshelf, including one that he took himself in his backyard.

Grace headed upstairs with some of her luggage and Clara walked Steve toward the back of the house, opening a door that led to the basement. "I hope you're hungry," Clara told Steve as she turned on a light and headed downstairs. "I don't know how we can ever thank you for getting Gracie home to us," she added. 

"It was my pleasure, really," Steve answered, following her, and soon they walked into a large, comfortable room that made Steve smile. 

"Still, you have the eternal gratitude of all the Williams clan." She waved her arm around the room. "Welcome to Eddie's man cave," she said fondly. Steve looked around, spotting a pair of leather recliners facing a flat screen television mounted to the wall. A billiards table was set up for a game under a long pool table light, while pennants and sports memorabilia covered the walls. 

"I guess Mister Williams is a Yankees fan," he laughed, walking toward one of the signed jerseys on the wall. "Mickey Mantle? Nice," Steve admired. 

"Eddie is quite proud of his collection." Opening a closet door, she pulled out a pillow, sheets, and a warm blanket and set them on a wide sofa pushed against the wall. "I wish we had something better to offer you, but Eddie assures me this is very comfortable. He's fallen asleep on it many nights, watching his ball games and that damn _SportsCenter_." Looking over at the television, she shook her head. "This virus, with nothing on to watch, it's driving him crazy." Turning back to Steve, she rested her hand on his arm. "I do hope you'll stay with us until you figure out where you're going next. Gracie said you might head back to Montana, but you're welcome here as long as you need." She laughed, her smile familiar and so much like Danny's. "If nothing else, Eddie will love the company down here. I know he's enjoying all these old reruns of games but sometimes a body just needs someone to talk to."

"I guess I can understand that," Steve nodded. "I've had a lot of quiet times on this road trip I've been taking, but seeing old friends, those are probably the best times I've had so far."

Clara was looking at him carefully, and Steve realized that she might be worried about him. Before he could say more, she smiled again. "Well, I'm glad you're here with us now. Danny talks about you all the time, and I hope we can become good friends too." Another arm squeeze. "The bathroom's right over there," she added, pointing at a door. "Clean up and come have some dinner with us, please."

After washing his hands and face, Steve headed upstairs to find the kitchen warm and full of good smells. Grace guided him to a chair and Eddie handed him a beer. Ballantines. Steve sipped it slowly. "Gracie tells us you've been driving around for a couple weeks now. What are you seeing?" he asked, thanking Clara as she handed everyone bowls of soup and set a big loaf of warm French bread in the middle of the table.

Soon they were all eating as Steve told a couple stories from his camping. "The empty stores, that's been the strangest thing. I'd be out of the loop for a day or two, then head into a town and see restaurants closed, stores empty. Lines of people waiting to get in some of them."

"There was a line at Costco yesterday," Clara added. "Bridget went to get some stuff and had to wait in line. Still no toilet paper." Tearing a piece of bread off the loaf, she shrugged. "It's got to get better soon, right? That's what the news said, the trucks are on their way to refill everything." Looking at Steve, she smiled. "How's the soup?"

"It's amazing," Steve told her as he finished his bowl. 

She smiled. "It's my mother's recipe, Italian wedding soup. Even better the next day." Steve wouldn't know, because between the four of them all the soup disappeared, along with a plate of cupcakes that Clara had baked waiting for them to drive in. 

Steve insisted on helping Eddie with the dishes, and after they cleaned the kitchen, Steve walked into the living room and found Grace on the phone with her father, telling him about the trip. "Everything good back home?" he asked her when she was done.

"I guess so," Grace said. "I mean, Charlie's still out of school and he doesn't like doing his schoolwork on the computer from home." She looked over at her grandparents, talking quietly to themselves in the kitchen, and lowered her voice. "He found someone to watch Charlie during the days so he went back to the office this week."

Steve groaned. Even by their standards, this was going back to work too early. "He should stay home."

Grace snorted. "You tell him that." She looked over at Clara. "Grandma's gonna flip when she finds out. It took everything in her not to get on a plane and go out there when he got hurt." She nudged Steve's foot with hers, smiling. "He said he'll call you after a while."

Later that night, Steve was in the basement, dressed for bed and stretched out on the extremely comfortable sofa when his phone rang. 

"She made you zuppa?"

Steve chuckled as he settled back into the cushions. "She did, and it's amazing." 

"It was my favorite thing in the world when I was a kid.” Steve swore he could hear Danny smiling. “Grace said you were sleeping in the basement. It's a comfortable couch--I've spent quite a few nights on it myself."

“It’s great, especially after a night on that one at Grace’s apartment.” It should've been easy to slip back into their familiar roles, but that gulf was still there between them and Steve couldn't remember when talking to Danny had been so awkward. But at least they were finally talking. "You doing alright?"

"Yeah." Steve could hear Danny fidgeting around on the other side, and imagined him sitting at his office desk, messing with the bonsai he’d taken up as a hobby to help manage his stress. "Look, Steve, thanks for getting Gracie to my parents. I told Rachel not to bother you, that it wasn't fair to ask you. I know this isn't how you intended on spending--"

"Danno," Steve began, cutting him off. "No apologies. This is Grace, she's ohana. Fuck, she's like my own, you know that." He recalled a moment after dinner when he’d been in the living room and looked over into the kitchen and saw Grace and Clara sitting at the table, Grace showing Clara something funny on her phone, both of them laughing. Steve smiled as he remembered the way Clara draped an arm around Grace and kissed her temple. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for her."

There was a pause from Danny's end. Then, Steve heard him take a deep breath. "Look, I'm sorry for not responding to any of your texts or calls before. I guess… I was upset." Another pause. "Lincoln was talking about you and Catherine, how you said she was ‘the one that got away,’ and… I don't know. I guess I got my feelings hurt."

Now it was Steve's turn to take a moment. Had he said that to Lincoln? "I--I guess I did," he began, his stomach lurching as he remembered what had been going on during the conversation in question. "But when I said that I was just trying to get Lincoln to understand, you know, what things were like between me and Catherine. Why I hadn't just contacted her myself. She _was_ important to me at one time in my life, Danny. I thought I was gonna marry her, you know that."

"Yeah, I remember," Danny answered. "I just thought, you know…" Danny snorted. "The last few years, it's been you and me and the dog, and Charlie when I’ve got him. And then we adopted Junes, like our own little happy family. Like I said, it just bothered me, and that's my fault. I'm sorry."

"Nah, I can see why you'd get mad." They never talked about this thing between them, they just let it happen, enjoying the good times and ignoring the hard parts. But Steve didn't want to drop this thread. "You know, I'm sorry about the restaurant, Danno. We shouldn't've, I mean, I shouldn't've let that go. Not without more of a fight. I should’ve tried harder." There were so many unspoken words in that apology; it had been a turning point for them, Steve was beginning to realize, a fork in the road where he turned away from a life, a relationship with Danny. 

That night that Danno offered his heart and Steve pretended like he didn't notice. _Love you, dollface._ "There's some regrets there, on my side," Steve murmured, remembering that moment. 

"I think about that a lot too, what we'd be doing now if we still had that." Steve could hear Danny sigh, one of those deep ones like when he got nostalgic. "Probably for the best that we pulled out. Would've been too much to deal with."

Steve was quiet for a long moment. “You really think that?” He wasn’t sure if Danny was talking about the restaurant or about them. 

“The past year was hard enough without it,” Danny pointed out. “Trying to run the restaurant on top of all the shit that got piled on us? On you, especially? Steven.” 

He was on the verge of conceding that point when his mouth got ahead of him. “Maybe...maybe some of that shit wouldn’t have happened. If we’d had that.” Steve froze, then, the phone clutched in his fist like a lifeline. There was no response from the other end, at first, and he panicked. “I just mean…” What _did_ he mean? 

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from life, Steve, it’s that shit always happens.” Danny sounded weary. Resigned. 

"Speaking of shit happening," Steve said, changing the subject, "I hear you're back at work. You think that's a good idea?" he asked. 

"I think… I can be useful here. The kids, they're great at what they do, Lou and Quinn, they've got a lot of skills but one of us should be here. I should be here."

He felt that pang, again. Steve knew he’d made his choice, but he could still regret that he wasn’t there to help them, couldn’t he? To help Danny, to give him more time to heal. “I have no doubt you’ll be useful, Danny. Just… be careful. Please?” 

Steve heard the snort from the other end of the line, then an indrawn breath like Danny was going to speak. But he didn’t. Not for a long moment in which Steve was extremely conscious of his own breaths. “Did Grace put you up to this?” Danny asked at last. 

“No.” Steve exhaled. “And I know I don’t have the best track record as a patient, myself,” Danny’s snort at that was even louder, “but Gracie and I, we wouldn’t say it if we didn’t care.” 

The sigh from the other end of the line sounded somewhere between exasperated and fond. “I’ll take it easy. I’m not cleared to be in the field yet, anyway, so it’s just desk work. Running the table, meeting with Mahoe and Duke, that sort of thing.” 

Steve nodded, even though Danny couldn’t see him. “Give them my regards. The team, too.” He tried to suppress a yawn. 

“Yeah, I’ll tell ‘em. But right now, you need to sleep. How you’re even still awake after that drive is beyond me. Give my folks my love, and tell Gracie Danno loves her.” 

Steve blinked sleepily. “Didn’t you just talk to her earlier?” 

“Humor me. Tell her anyway,” Danny demanded. 

Steve smiled, then. “Okay, Danno. Good night.” 

“Good night, Steven. And thanks again.” 

When the call ended, Steve sent a quick text. 

> **Danno said to tell you he loves you.**

Grace’s reply was quick; of course she was awake. An emoji heart followed by 

> **thank you. night uncle steve.**


	8. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

[Sunday March 22]

Clara and Danny were right - the sofa in Eddie's man cave was outstanding. Steve slept in the next morning, his body worn out by the last two weeks of traveling, and as he showered in the basement bathroom, he admitted to himself that there was something to be said for taking the Williamses up on their offer to stay for a few days and rest up. Heading upstairs, the smell of bacon caught his attention, and he found Clara, Eddie, and Grace digging into their breakfast. "There's pancakes warm in the oven," Clara told him, standing and pouring him some coffee. When she handed it to him, Steve saw that the mug that had the Newark Fire Department emblem on it. "Creamer and sugar on the table."

After breakfast Steve and Grace went back out to the Blazer and unloaded the rest of their clothes, and Steve began washing a load of laundry. Clara had the New York governor's press conference on the television in the living room and he sat next to her, catching up on what was happening on the East Coast. ''Shelter in place" orders had been issued for New Jersey the previous day, when Steve and Grace made it into Newark. "This virus, it's scary," Clara told him, curling up on her end of the sofa. "I've never seen anything like this. I'm worried about our Stella. You know she’s an RN now. She works in a pediatrician’s office over in Paterson.” 

Steve nodded. “I knew she was in school for it. Danny mentioned that a time or two.” He listened as the governor talked frankly and honestly about the problems happening in New York. "Is it this bad here in Jersey?"

She shrugged. "It's so hard to tell. No one's getting tested. I hear stories about the hospitals filling up, and some of Eddie's friends at the fire department say that it's only going to get worse." Looking over at Steve, she tilted her head. "Daniel didn't know what your plans were now that you've brought our Gracie to us, and she said she thought you might head back to Montana. Please know you're welcome here as long as you need, to rest up before going wherever you plan on heading next."

"I appreciate the offer," Steve replied, and he meant it. "I did leave Montana pretty quickly when I got Rachel's text message, and I should head back and close the house up before I decide what else to do."

Clara patted him on the shoulder as she got to her feet. “Is there someone who can keep an eye on it for you? I hate to think of you traveling all the way back out there alone with this going on.” She waved her hand at the television. “It’s going to get worse before it gets better, from the look of it.” 

Steve thought for a moment. “The neighbor would ride over and check on things if I asked, yeah,” he said slowly. The general had a set of keys, and he checked up on the ranch periodically anyway. “I guess I could just call him and ask if he’d make a sweep through the house, to check behind me.” 

“Why not start with that?” Clara suggested. “Of course we don’t want to keep you if you really want to go, but you’re family to Danny so that means you’re family to us, too. We love having you,” she told him.

Steve looked at his watch. “It’s still early there, but… I’ll give him a call in a couple of hours, if you’re sure.” He looked up at Clara with a tentative smile. “I don’t want to put you out.” 

“Please.” Clara rolled her eyes. _So that’s where Danny gets it,_ Steve mused. “We wouldn’t offer if we didn’t mean it. You’re no trouble at all, Steve. Like I mentioned yesterday, it would do us all a great service, you watching sports with Eddie,” she added with a grin. Then her smile faded a little, as if she remembered something. “Unless you’d rather be alone? Danny mentioned about your mother--”

“No, no,” Steve quickly interrupted. “No, that’s okay--it’s--” He heaved a sigh, frustrated with his inability to get the words out. “I’d rather not be alone, actually,” he said, and it wasn’t until the words were out there that Steve realized how true they were. “I mean, the camping has been great, but it can wait.” Clara was still watching him, her blue eyes full of sympathy. “I’d like to stay.”

Clara smiled and reached out to touch his shoulder again “Then it’s settled.” Just then Grace called her and she excused herself to go see what her granddaughter needed. 

Steve sank back against the cushions and blinked at the television. Part of him wondered what had happened to his ideas of camping in out of the way places or holing up at Joe’s ranch, but the longer he sat there hearing the sounds of life in the house, conversation and laughter coming nearer as Clara and Grace came back downstairs together, another part of him knew. He really _didn’t_ want to be alone.

He watched the local news a while longer, then got up to attend to his laundry. Steve had gotten his clothes from the dryer and was in the basement putting them away when he heard footsteps on the stairs. Steve looked up and saw Grace bound off the bottom step. “Grandma said she talked you into staying?” 

Steve glanced down at his watch again. “She did. Which reminds me, I need to call someone to go check on the ranch for me.” 

Grace beamed. “I’m glad. I just came down to see if you wanted to go for a walk. I can show you around, point out the corner store and the park. The good places to run.” She bit her lip. “Maybe we can run together some while you’re here? I miss it, and it’ll keep me in practice. I want to try out for cross country whenever all this is over.” 

Steve nodded. “Yeah, Gracie, I’d love that. The tour and the running. I miss running with you, too.” He smiled at her as he put the fresh pile of laundry on top of his duffel bag. “Let me just make that call and we can go. Give me five or ten minutes?” He pulled her into a one-armed hug. 

“Yeah, okay. I’m going to go put on shoes.” Grace kissed him on the cheek and hurried back up the stairs. 

The call to Dave Ferris didn’t take long. “‘Course I’ll look after things over there, McGarrett. I’ve been riding out that way anyway. Got to exercise these horses--they’ve enjoyed their winter oats. Don’t worry about it. But think about my offer, okay?” The offer to buy the place still stood. Steve told him he was thinking seriously about it and would be in touch.

Walking Danny’s old neighborhood with Grace was a trip. Grace knew it like the back of her hand, of course, and her stories were peppered with anecdotes of her own experiences there as well as tales her dad had told her about growing up in the city. Things he and his siblings had gotten into. It was the next best thing to having Danny there with them, and for a minute Steve felt a fierce longing for that, almost painfully intense. 

He glanced up as Grace paused in front of the local ice cream shop and grinned. “You know what I think we should do?” Steve asked. He held the door open for her. They were wearing masks and they kept an appropriate distance from others inside as they chose the flavors they wanted. Rather than getting cones, Steve suggested getting some quarts to take home and asked what her grandparents’ favorite flavors were.

Steve took a selfie of the two of them with the shop’s sign in the background as they left, Grace holding up the quart of double chocolate--hers and Danno’s favorite. He sent it off to Danny and they started on their way back to the house with their treats. 

When they got in, Clara was in the kitchen unloading groceries. “You got the good stuff, I see,” she laughed as they showed off their haul. “I’m glad I didn’t pick up any at the store, then.” 

“It’s a little thank you for having me,” Steve explained. “Grace said the toffee crunch is your favorite, and that Eddie likes the cherry vanilla.” He felt a pang of worry, though, as she unpacked a bag of popcorn. “You could’ve given us a list and we’d have gone to the store for you,” he added. “Since--”

“That’s sweet of you, honey,” Clara said. “But if you’re about to say I’m old and at risk, please don’t.” She was laughing, though. “Honestly, it was just a quick trip. I texted Danny last night to find out what kinds of snacks and foods you like, and he answered me earlier.” 

“You didn’t have to go just for me,” Steve began.

Clara cut him off again. “He said you might feel guilty about that. No, sweetheart, I needed a few things anyway. It wasn’t any trouble to get things you like along with them.” She held out the bag of popcorn. “Now, did I get the right kind?” 

Grace stuck her head between them as she closed the freezer door, the ice cream safely put away. “Skinny Pop kettle corn? That’s the stuff,” she confirmed for her grandmother. “I hope you got two bags. I like it, too.” 

“It was four for ten, so I went ahead and got four. No telling how long we’ll be staying home, after all,” Clara said. 

"You don't know how much I appreciate it," Steve told her, "but next time, please let me go. It's the least I can do." Steve would never forgive himself if she got sick because of something like a trip to the store. Then he spied a pineapple in another bag. “Did Danny say to get this, too?” he laughed. He pulled it out, then began helping to empty the rest of the bags. 

“He said you love it,” Clara replied with a nod. “I’ve got a new chicken recipe I’ve been meaning to try that calls for it, too, so I figured why not.” 

Grace’s eyes lit up. “Have you seen that video of the guy pulling a pineapple apart with his bare hands?” she asked Steve. “I think Captain Grover sent it to me. Have you ever done that?” 

Steve recalled the video. “Yeah, I’ve seen it. Danno didn’t believe it was real, so I demonstrated, yes.” He chuckled. “It’s gotta be ripe for it to work.” 

There was another reason Clara ran to the store. "I know we're a little late," Clara said after they all finished dinner, nodding at Grace who stood and jogged into the kitchen. She returned with a small round cake, covered in chocolate buttercream frosting with a single candle on top. "In our defense, you weren't here on your birthday for us to celebrate with you," she told him, smiling warmly. 

Steve just looked at it, wide-eyed. "You shouldn't--" he began. 

Clara hushed him with a look. "Birthdays are very important in our family." 

"Mostly we just need the excuse to eat cake," Eddie added, lighting the candle. 

Clara gave him a look. "That too," she admitted. "Make a wish, Steve."

"Um, might not want to actually blow out the candle," Grace interjected. "Germs and all." Everyone looked at each other, and in the end Steve made a wish, licked his thumb and index finger and put the candle out. Then everyone clapped, but in lieu of them singing “Happy Birthday,” Grace played a recording of it on her phone. 

Steve grinned and shook his head, still a little wide-eyed as Eddie handed him a slice of cake. Then he took a bite and smiled. “Buttercream. That’s my favorite.” He licked it off the fork and dug in. “How’d you know?” 

“Danny may have mentioned it,” Clara told him with a broad smile as Eddie served her and Grace. “He said buttercream, anyway, but I thought the chocolate looked good.” 

“It’s amazing,” Steve confirmed. He gave her a warm smile, then the others, too. “Thank you. I didn’t really give my birthday much thought this year, not until I found myself in California and starting my trip that day.” 

Later that night, Steve sent Danny a picture of what was left of the cake, the candle still stuck in the top. When he had brushed his teeth and changed for bed, he saw that he’d received a reply. When he opened it, he laughed. It was a photo of Eddie, a flower lei on his head. 

> **This guy says happy birthday, too.**

Steve stared at the picture a moment longer before replying. 

> **Give him some scratches from me.**

The next picture was a selfie of Danny, angled down to show his lapful of contented dog as he scratched around Eddie’s ears. 

[Monday March 23]

The next evening Steve insisted on treating the family to pizza. "I've heard all about the superiority of East Coast pizza for years from your son," he said as they all pulled slices of thin crust cheese pizza from the large cardboard box. He took a bite and groaned appreciatively. "Gotta say, I miss the pineapple but this is pretty good."

Eddie made a face at the pineapple comment but Grace laughed. "Sometimes I order pineapple and ham on my pizza at school and everyone laughs at me. But it reminds me of home," she added, folding her slice of cheese pizza and taking another bite. "Speaking of pineapples," Grace said, pulling out her phone and opening an app, then handing it to her grandmother. "Eric," she said to Steve and Eddie. "Being silly."

Clara held the phone up so that everyone could see the Instagram post. "Are those..." Steve asked.

Grace nodded. "Yeah. A pyramid of toilet paper rolls." 

That sounded like the kid that Steve remembered, sleeping on Danny's sofa until he got his act together, finding a job and moving in with friends. "Danny mentioned that he met a girl and moved to the mainland last year. Where did he end up?" Steve asked, folding his pizza like everyone else and ignoring Grace grinning at him.

"Albuquerque," Clara said sadly. "He said Hawaii ruined him for cold weather forever."

After dinner Steve made himself a small bowl of ice cream and headed downstairs. It was nearly ten, so that meant it was almost four in the afternoon back in Honolulu. Pulling out his laptop, Steve opened up Hangouts and initiated a video call with Danny, just to see what would happen.

Danny answered. "Hey," he said, his face filling Steve's laptop screen. Steve could see that he was in his office at the palace. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Steve answered, settling on the sofa with the laptop on a folding tray table. "I just wanted to see if this worked."

"And I'm your guinea pig," Danny retorted. "Is that De Luca's ice cream?" he asked, staring at Steve's bowl as he took a bite. “In the picture you sent, it looked like you got double chocolate.” 

"I got a few of your folks’ favorites, as a thank you. Gracie, she picked that one. This is the cherry vanilla." He laughed when Danny groaned. "Grace was right, this is amazing. I also had pizza tonight. It was pretty good."

Steve almost felt bad at the sad look on Danny's face. "So you having fun up there?" Danny asked. 

"It's not the worst place to be stuck in a global pandemic. Your folks are good people, Danno."

"Yes they are," Danny agreed. "Well, I'm glad one of us is enjoying themselves. God knows it hasn't settled down here."

"Been busy?"

"You could say that." Danny's brow furrowed. "But that Lincoln kid, he's doing a good job. I don't know what we'd have done without him after you left." 

Steve didn't think that Danny said that specifically to jab at his feelings, but he felt that keenly. "Didn't mean to leave you all in the lurch."

Danny snorted. "Who'd've known the world would fall apart once Steve McGarrett left, right?" 

"I'm sorry, Danno."

"I know. Just," Danny paused, rubbing the back of his neck. "Take care of my folks and we'll call it even." As he said that, Danny's eyes focused on something happening in the office. "Gotta run. You take care, okay?" and then the screen went black.

"You too," Steve said to the blank screen, feeling a tinge of regret, and maybe some envy, for not being there with his team.

[Tuesday March 24]

Steve was carrying some dishes that had made their way into the basement back upstairs. He was halfway to the kitchen when he overheard Clara's raised voice, upset, and he went still, wondering what had happened to make her angry.

"Did you know it was this bad?" Taking one step forward, Steve saw that she was talking to Eddie, the two of them facing each other in the kitchen. 

Eddie put one hand on her shoulder. "Sweetheart--"

"Don't sweetheart me, Edward." Clara looked up into Eddie's face and Steve immediately recognized that determined jaw, that furrowed brow. "Six people from the fire department tested positive. Six! You retired last year, this isn't your job anymore. Just… just tell them that you can't go in anymore."

"Then who's gonna do it, Clara?" Eddie stood his ground, but his voice was soft. "I'm not going out on calls anymore, I'm just helping them around the station. Someone needs to sort out the PPE, organize and sterilize the equipment. If this is right," he pointed at the paper, "then they'll need more help than ever."

Clara was about to respond when she spotted Steve in the living room, holding back, not wanting to intrude. "Steve, honey, please, come in. We're just discussing some… well, I guess you heard."

Steve stepped closer, inching into the kitchen. He’d all but forgotten what those moments felt like, but suddenly he was six years old again. "I didn't mean to interrupt." Turning to Eddie, he asked, "If they need help, I can go in. I've got training in that sort of work. Just get me an introduction."

Eddie shook his head. "I appreciate the offer, but-"

"You know my background. It'll give me something to do, some way to pay you back for letting me stay here."

Clara stepped up to him. "Steve, you've got those medical issues." She smiled sadly, but a proud look on her face. "Danny would kill us if he knew you were working at the fire station, where you could get exposed."

Maybe. "Clara," Steve told her, giving her a one-armed hug, "I guarantee he won't be even a little bit surprised. Besides," he added, looking at both of them, "if Danny can get back to work, then so can I. Please let me help."

[Monday March 30]

Eddie introduced him to the new captain and the guys at his old station, and after a chat with the captain about his qualifications, Steve was welcomed with open arms, at least metaphorically. In a way it reminded him of the times he’d visited his dad’s work when he was a kid. Eddie sounded almost as proud talking up his accomplishments to the others as if Steve had been his own. The two of them fell into a routine, working at the station a few hours a day and then heading home. They rode together in Eddie’s pickup truck. After some conversation, Eddie and Clara persuaded Steve to return the Blazer, offering their own vehicles for whatever errands he needed to run. “There’s no need to rack up rental charges when it’s mostly just sitting in the driveway, son,” Eddie had pointed out. Grace, meanwhile, had jumped at the chance to follow Steve to the rental facility in Clara’s Tahoe, and on the way back to the house they picked up dinner. 

The structure the new routine added to his day felt good, as did the work itself, helping to keep the firefighters’ gear cleaned and ready for use. A morning or afternoon run with Grace helped, too. Steve hadn’t really stretched out and had a good run since before he left Honolulu, and between the exercise and the necessary work he was doing, he was sleeping fairly well for a change.

Some days Bridget came by in the morning, bringing bagels or doughnuts. The routine was the same; she would come up to leave the box for them on the porch, then stand or sit in the yard with her own coffee and bagel and chat with them for a while. Her twelve-year-old daughter, Sophie, came along most days but not all. 

“I’m telling you, homeschooling that kid at one end of the dining room table while I work at the other end, it’s a mess,” Bridget announced one morning. She lay on her back in the grass, mask sticking out of her pocket and a half-eaten bagel in hand. “The novelty of all that time together was nice, at first, but we both got over that pretty fast.” 

Grace sat on the porch railing, her back against one of the posts as she smeared some cream cheese on her own bagel before handing the container and knife to Steve. “What, Soph doesn’t like all the togetherness?” 

Bridget held her bagel between her teeth as she pushed herself up to sit cross-legged. “Sophie’s an introvert, like her dad,” she shrugged. It was a foreign idea to most of the Williams clan, Steve recognized with a grin. “We get on each other’s nerves by hour three or four. Or I get on her nerves. Lord knows I’m not introverted.” She sighed and stretched, then bit off another bite of bagel. “So today I declared a mental health day for both of us.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever done that,” Steve realized. 

Grace snorted, but she smiled at him. “That’s not surprising. But you’ve given out plenty of them. I remember you closing up early on slow days, especially when you knew Danno had me for the weekend.”

“Danny said something like that to me that time I visited,” Bridget agreed. “Or declaring a surf day?” She screwed up her face in thought. “Was that what he called it?” 

“That sounds like something I did once or twice,” Steve admitted. “And I guess I may have taken advantage of those when I did, but just… taking a day off?” He tried to recall. “I mean, actual sick days, sure, I’ve taken them now and then. And personal days, for appointments or whatever.” 

Grace and Bridget exchanged a look. “Nah,” Bridget said, shaking her head. “A mental health day, my friend, is when you wake up and roll over to slap the alarm off and decide ‘nope, not today, Satan’.” She took a swig of her iced coffee. “I mean, scheduling them is nice and all, if you’re into that. But it’s the unscheduled, impulsive ones that generally have the most benefit in my experience.” She squinted over at him in the bright sunlight as she reached for the sunglasses perched on her head. “Never ever? What about ditching class in school?” 

“You didn’t really ditch class at the Naval Academy,” he pointed out around a bite of bagel. “I mean, you could try, but it was generally more hassle than it was worth.” 

“Fair enough,” Bridget replied with a nod. “High school?”

He drank some of his own coffee. “High school… sure, I skipped a few times. Mainly after I was sent to the mainland.” He pushed those memories aside. “But I’m pretty sure that was spite, not any great desire for improved mental health.” He turned to Grace. “What about you, Gracie Grace? Anything you’d like to share?” 

“I’ve taken one or two this year,” she admitted. “Mostly when it was below freezing and I was especially homesick.” 

“Totally understandable,” Steve agreed with a nod. 

Bridget grinned at them both. “All that sunshine’s thinned your blood, you two.” 

Grace shrugged. “The snow was fun the first couple times, but when you get it so often it gets old,” she said seriously. Then she shivered. “I’m really glad I missed last winter in Chicago though. Alex told me it got so cold they literally had to set the tracks _on fire_ to keep the trains running.”

“No kidding?” Steve shivered involuntarily. “I’ve been in some cold places in the Navy, and part of my training was in cold water. But that? Yeah, I think I’d stay in bed, too.” He glanced up when the screen door opened and Eddie and Clara came out. Clara handed him a water bottle. 

“You ready, Steve?” Eddie asked as he gave Grace a one armed hug. “Bridget,” he called out with a wave. “Morning, sweetheart. I’m afraid I’ve got to steal this one away. We’ve got some work to do,” he said as he and Steve started toward the garage. 

“Morning, Pops.” Bridget gave her father a sunny smile. “Try not to get him into too much trouble. Danny’ll be pissed.” 

“Wait, which one of us are you talking to?” Steve asked.

Bridget tilted her head. “Eh. He likes you both.” 

[Wednesday April 1]

"I mean, I can see how the disposable PPE would be safer," Steve replied to Eddie Williams as they pulled into the driveway of the Williams' home, parking outside in front of the garage. "But then you gotta start talking money and conserving that equipment. It's gonna get harder and harder to buy, especially if the states are all starting to buy what they can. If you can just clean and sanitize all the regular equipment you already have, that would seem to make sense."

Eddie hit the garage door opener attached to the sun visor. "Nothing about this situation makes sense." The garage door slowly rumbled open and both men got out of Eddie's truck and stepped around Clara's Tahoe, which was parked inside. Two bathrobes were set out on Eddie's workbench and both men quickly changed out of their clothes and into the robes before heading into the house; their new evening routine. "See you later, son," Eddie chuckled, tossing what he wore that day into the washing machine and heading upstairs to shower. 

Steve followed, his clothes added to the washing machine, along with two Tide Pods. Once he got the machine started, Steve headed back down to shower in the basement. 

Later that evening during dinner, Eddie and Steve answered Grace's questions about the differences between sanitizing and disinfecting and what they were doing at Eddie's old station. "Sanitizing sounds good," Steve told her, "and it's okay for most situations, but disinfecting, that's when you completely destroy the microbes."

"Microbial death," Eddie repeated. "We've sure heard alot about all of this the last few days. It's just not easy with all the different types of equipment that the boys-"

"The people, Grandpa," Grace murmured, taking another bite of her spaghetti and looking at him.

"Ah, that's right, the equipment that the _people_ use." Eddie glanced at Clara, who sipped her lemonade and grinned at her granddaughter. "Gloves, aprons, face shields and goggles, those all have different guidelines for disinfecting. A lot of the time, they need to air dry, which isn't easy either, with the limited space and amount of equipment we're working with. Then some of that equipment has, what's the word, porous materials like cloth straps and those need something different too." Eddie took a bite of his dinner. "And that doesn't even cover all the EMT equipment. That's a whole other ballgame."

It had been eye opening for Steve, watching how Eddie's former station came together to try and handle this crisis best they could. Eddie wasn't the only one who came out of retirement to assist. Several volunteer firefighters joined them as they worked each day to clean and disinfect all the equipment from the evening and night shifts so that they'd be ready when needed. It was clear that Eddie had been a popular captain before his retirement, the way all the firefighters treated him with respect and affection. "I hear that some of the hospitals are reusing their disposable PPE." 

Everyone at the table went quiet a minute, thinking about that. "Can you imagine," Clara said softly. "A few months ago I didn't know what that was, and now I'm sad inside because there's not enough, and those poor doctors and nurses are gonna get sick..." 

It was a sobering thought. After a moment, Grace broke the silence. "Oh, I got an A on my English lit test, the one I took on Monday."

Clara's face broke into a smile. "Well done, sweetheart. Was that the one over _Jane Eyre_?" Grace nodded. "I remember reading that when I was younger. Or was that _Pride and Prejudice_?" Turning to Eddie, she asked, "Which is the one with the movie that I like?"

"That was _Pride and Prejudice_ ," he told her, collecting everyone's dinner plates. "You like that British actor."

"I like all the British actors," Clara admitted, laughing as Grace stood up from the table and wrapped her arm around her grandmother. "I like those accents." 

Steve watched them all, these amazing people and wished, not for the first time, that his family had been like this, full of love and laughter. He also needed to talk to Mary. He'd neglected her on this quest to find himself, and decided that after he finished helping Eddie with the dinner dishes, he needed to check in with his little sister.


	9. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

[Thursday April 2]

[Meanwhile in Honolulu...]

"The governor's been resisting a general 'stay at home' order. The mayor of Honolulu went on their own and created one, Maui too." Danny Williams sat in his office at HQ, finishing his work for the day and talking to the familiar face on the other side of the computer screen. "Mahoe met with some of us today. They're concerned about people breaking that fourteen-day travel quarantine."

"I bet," Steve said. The room around him was dark. Danny guessed it must've been close to midnight there. "Some people don't want to give up their vacations at any cost."

"Idiots," Danny agreed, but it was an argument he was tired of having, even here in Hawaii where the virus hadn't caught fire due to their stringent precautions. "It's late, go get your beauty sleep." When he heard Steve snort, he added, "and give everyone my love." Danny hesitated. "Steven."

"Yeah, Danno?"

"Be careful. At the fire department, I mean. Take care of my dad."

"Will do, Danno. I know I can't say don't work too hard right now, but," Danny heard that sleepy hesitation in Steve's voice, "you just be careful too, okay? You stay safe."

"I will if you will." Clicking the little red telephone on the computer screen, he ended the call and Danny sat back in his chair, folding his hands in front of him and turning toward the door where Junior stood, leaning against the frame. "Yes?"

Junior shook his head. "You said to leave him alone, to give him some space."

"I did," Danny nodded. "In my defense, he called me to let me know how my family's doing and then just asked about how things were going here. I gave him a quick rundown so he wouldn't worry and could concentrate on whatever it is he's doing out there."

"Did he say anything about coming back?" Junior asked, a hopeful note in his voice as he sat on the edge of his desk, unconsciously mimicking Steve. 

"I don't think that's even possible right now," Danny sighed, "and I don't think he's done traveling. This whole Covid really fucked with his quest to find himself," Danny said with air quotes on those last words. Junior gave him a look that said what he thought about that statement. Danny waved his hand. "Tell everyone… they can call him, or text or whatever. Sounds like he's locked down like the rest of us, bored as fuck." The wide smile on Junior's face told Danny that it was the right decision. "But," he added, "keep the work chatter down to a minimum. Don't want him worrying about us when there's nothing he can do about it."

"Alright," Junior told him. "So... did you tell him about the new car?" 

Danny smirked as he turned off his computer, shaking his head. "You ready?" he asked, looking up at Junior, who nodded and laughed, and Danny followed him out of his office.

[Friday April 3]

"Please be careful, okay dear?"

"I'm always careful, Ma, don't worry."

"That's not likely." Steve walked into the kitchen after dinner to find Clara sitting at the table and video chatting with Danny on her laptop like Grace showed her. "I'm your mother, it's my job to worry." Walking behind Clara, he set a cup in the sink and waved at Danny as he passed by. 

"That bum still hanging out with you guys?" he heard Danny ask, and he couldn't help but laugh. Steve had gotten used to that smart mouth and he missed it. Heading back into the living room, Steve settled on the sofa with his book.

"Don't be rude, Daniel," Clara shook her head, exasperated but clearly fond of her son. "I wish you and Charlie were back here too. Please think about what I said, okay?" 

"Yeah, will do, Ma. Look, I know it's getting late there. Tomorrow's Saturday, so I'll have Charlie give you a call in the morning, okay? I'll text to make sure--" Danny stopped and laughed. "I almost said, 'to make sure that you're home'.'"

"Where else would we be, Daniel?" she responded, but soon they were saying good night to each other and Clara walked into the living room, carrying her small laptop and plugging it into the wall to charge.

"How's he doing?" Eddie asked, also walking into the living room and sitting down on one of the recliners. Turning on the television, he found a police procedural show and set the remote down. "Things getting worse over there?"

"He says that they're as busy as ever. The criminals seem to be staying home, and now it's the tourists that the task force is going after." She sat next to Steve on the sofa. "Is that what he's telling you?"

"Pretty much," Steve agreed. "He says they’ve busted more than a few stubborn people who didn’t want to give up their dream vacations. Sounds like some people’ll promise to abide by the quarantine and stay in their rentals, then go off and do whatever they want.” He shook his head. “They picked up a couple of out-of-towners yesterday, he said, who’d been taking advantage of the empty beaches to indulge in some, ah, one-on-one time in the great outdoors. And, apparently, in one of the public changing rooms.” 

Clara gasped and then chuckled. “That sounds… uncomfortable. I’ve always thought that scene in _From Here to Eternity_ was overrated. I mean, you’d be finding sand _everywhere_.” 

He'd had this exact conversation once before, but with Danny. Of course, they'd had to investigate on their own to find the answer, which ended up being yes, sand got everywhere, even during a quick handjob with your best friend. Cleaning each other off in the shower later had been fun, though.

Steve grinned as he watched Clara shudder, her expression so like Danny in that moment that it made him ache. There was something special about being here, getting to spend time with the people who loved Danny and see where he came from. He was thankful all over again that he’d taken her up on that invitation to stay. When he glanced over, too, he saw Eddie giving Clara an impossibly fond look. 

When he caught Steve looking, Eddie winked. “I suppose that’s meant to be the point,” he chuckled. “That they’re so carried away by each other they don’t care. Sounds like those tourists wanted a little of that magic.” 

“Maybe so,” Steve agreed. “That movie, it was filmed in Hawaii, did you know? That beach isn’t too far from the house.” 

“What movie?” Steve glanced up as Grace bopped into the living room on her way to the kitchen. 

"Old movie. How's that boyfriend of yours?" Eddie asked, grinning at Steve. Grace gave her grandfather a look and kept walking. "Gracie found herself a cowboy from Texas."

Steve recalled what he knew about Alex from their brief meeting and laughed. Respectful and polite, yes, but cowboy was not the adjective he'd pick. "He seemed to be a nice kid."

"Stop teasing her, Eddie," Clara reproached him before turning back to Steve. "I know he enjoys working with you all in the task force but between you and me, I keep asking Danny when he's going to move back home. He went out there to Hawaii because of Grace, when Rachel was married to that developer." She shook her head. "But she's not married to him anymore, and neither of them need to stay out there. Grace said her mom would move back closer but now Danny's the one dragging his feet."

"I told you, Grandma," Grace called out from the kitchen, where she was scooping ice cream into a bowl. "He's got… reasons."

"What reasons are those? He isn't seeing anyone seriously, is he?" she asked Steve. 

He clutched his book. “Uh, I don’t think--” 

"I don't even think he has a house right now. His family is all here. If your mom wants to move back-" 

“ _Grandma_.” Grace walked behind him on her way up to her bedroom with her ice cream. Steve felt her pause but was busy skimming a page to find where he’d left off and didn’t see Grace looking pointedly at him, then back at her grandmother. 

"Oh,” Clara said.

Steve looked up from his book, then, unaware of what had transpired behind him. "Oh?"

"Oh--nothing dear. Just me thinking aloud." Steve looked back down at his book, just missing the knowing glance between Clara and Eddie. "So Steve, tell me more about yourself."

[Tuesday, April 7]

It was just over a week into Steve’s volunteer experience at the firehouse when it happened. The new captain--still ‘New Cap’ to a lot of the guys, apparently--came out of his office, his usually mild expression grave over the top of his mask as he conferred with Eddie. Then he called the station together for a socially-distanced team meeting to inform them that three members of the day shift had tested positive and were displaying symptoms. In the meantime, anyone in close contact with them should self-isolate. There would be some schedule shuffling as people were redistributed from other nearby stations to help cover. 

The captain pointed out to them later that two of the guys had just come off the night shift and that handling the PPE could have exposed them both, even with the precautions they’d taken. Steve and Eddie were sent home with instructions to self-quarantine and get tested if they showed any symptoms. 

It was just before lunch when they pulled in the driveway. Eddie had called ahead to warn Clara. 

She had the robes waiting for them in the garage and stood in the hall with her arms crossed and mask in place, watching as they entered with their clothes in hand. “I’ve put the Tide Pods in the washer already,” she told them when they were about ten feet away. “I also stocked up the fridge in the basement and put some snacks down there. And Eddie, I put your pillow and some sheets and a blanket on the recliner.” She left them to drop their clothes in the washer and went to Grace, who was hovering at the bottom of the stairs and looked just as worried. 

“I can sleep in one of the recliners,” Steve offered as he and Eddie stood awkwardly near the basement door. “I’ve done it often enough at home. Or I can just spread out my sleeping bag. I don’t mind the floor.” 

“No, son, I don’t want to put you out of your bed,” Eddie objected. “I can sleep in the recliner just fine.” 

“Really, I don’t mind,” Steve insisted. “I’m used to it, after all.” 

Clara watched this exchange with her hands on her hips. Then Grace snorted. “You’re not gonna win, Grandpa, I can tell you now. Not like that.” She was doing something with her phone, and when it pinged she looked up with a broad smile. “Air mattress should be here tomorrow. I did the one-day delivery. I used the emergency credit card you gave me, Grandma.” 

Clara reached over to ruffle her hair. “That’s my girl. So I trust that settles the sleeping arrangements, boys? Everyone will have a bed, so after tonight nobody will sleep in a recliner or on the basement floor. You two can fight it out tonight.” Steve looked over at her and managed a sheepish smile. 

“You didn’t have to--” he began. 

“Uh, yeah I did,” Grace informed him. “Grandma wasn’t about to let you sacrifice yourself. Where do you think Danno gets it?” 

“Okay, okay, that’s it. Now shoo,” Clara told them both. “Go downstairs and shower. Eddie, I’ll put some clothes in a bag on the basement steps for you.” Then she stopped. “Did they check your temperatures at the station?” 

“Yeah,” Steve confirmed. “Both normal.” 

“Good. Now go on. If you need anything else, text one of us and we’ll put it in a laundry basket or a shopping bag for you and put it on the stairs.” 

The men headed down the basement stairs as Clara closed the door behind them. Eddie exhaled slowly as they reached the bottom of the stairs. "Oh boy, I guess we're in trouble now. Have you ever been married, Steve?" he asked. 

He shook his head. “Uh, no sir, I haven’t.” Unless you counted the past ten years with Danny, he supposed, which a lot of people seemed to do. But Steve didn’t say that. 

Eddie chuckled. "Well, let me tell you, I am going to hear about this for years to come." Eddie touched Steve's shoulder. "I'm sorry to have gotten you into this mess, son."

"No," Steve responded. "We both knew the risks, and I guess we'd both do it again." Steve was more worried right now about the firefighters at the station who were exposed, good men and women that he'd come to know in the past week. He noticed some of his things that were scattered around the basement and began picking them up, tucking them back inside his backpack.

"Don't worry about that," Eddie told him, heading toward the shower. "We're gonna get real close in here this next two weeks, roomie." He paused. "Do you snore?"

"No, sir," Steve answered automatically. 

Eddie chuckled. "My apologies in advance if I start to. Clara usually just rolls me over or pushes me around and I stop." Steve's face said what he thought about that. "You mentioned you were a light sleeper."

Steve sat down on one of the recliners, nodding. "I'm sure we'll figure something out."

Just then, Steve's phone buzzed. Eddie looked over and saw who was calling. "Oh boy, your turn," he said sympathetically then closed the bathroom door. 

Danny didn't even let him say a word. "Did you get it?" 

Steve could hear the worry behind the angry tone in Danny's voice, more understandable now that he'd gotten to know Danny's mother better. He sat down heavily on one of the recliners. "I don't know. We just got exposed, that's all we know right now."

"How's my dad?"

"He's good, Danno, he's okay. He's showering right now. No fever, no body aches or anything." He could hear Danny pacing around. "You're not using your cane anymore."

"Got rid of it last week." There was another long pause. "Please be careful, Steven."

Hearing the fear in Danny's voice made it all real. "I will, Danno. I promise."

But the next morning, both men knew something was wrong.

[Wednesday April 8]

Clara met Steve’s gaze as she came halfway down the basement stairs, just to where she could see Eddie sitting on the couch down there, looking miserable. She tucked the phone between her shoulder and ear as she glanced at the paper where she’d jotted their temperatures and other notes down. “Uh-huh. Yes. Eddie’s temperature was normal yesterday, but it’s shot up to 101.3°F and he’s got some body aches, too.” She listened for a moment, then covered the phone and called down to Steve. “Any other symptoms?” He relayed the question to Eddie from his spot at the bottom of the stairs, going over the list of symptoms on his phone. When he turned back, he called up the stairs to Clara. “He says his throat’s scratchy.” His own throat didn’t feel great, either, and his voice was more gravelly than usual.

She relayed that and listened while the doctor spoke, making sounds of acknowledgement as she scribbled a few notes. “At the fire station? Not Eddie’s, okay, the one over by the Catholic church. Got it. Now,” she began, glancing up at Steve. “Our…” Clara paused for a fraction of a second. “Our son-in-law was working with Eddie at the station, and he was exposed, too.” _Son-in-law?_ When Steve recovered from that and tried to wave her off, indicating that he didn’t feel that bad, Clara held her hand up and cut him off with a look. He closed his mouth. “His fever’s not quite as high, it’s 100.3°F, but he’s got a sore throat, too. And he’s at higher risk because he’s had a liver transplant.”

Steve made a noise, not sure if he was going to protest or not, but then Eddie spoke up. “Son,” he said, his voice raspy. “She’s worried about you, too. Let her be.” 

That was just it, wasn’t it, he thought as a dull flush burned the back of his neck and up into his cheeks. Steve didn’t know how to do that. Danny had worried about him and tried to look after him for years, it was true. At least as much as Steve would let him. But to have someone--a parent, a _mother_ \--fuss over him like this? He had no memory of anything like it, not since he was very small. 

He looked back up at Clara from his vantage point at the bottom of the stairs. She was just wrapping up her call. “Thanks, Dr. Bonaventure. You and Mrs. B take care, all right?” Clara ended the call and looked at both of them. “Okay. There’s a drive-thru testing facility set up at an old fire station not far from here. You know, Eddie,” she said, looking at him. “That one over on Orange. You can both be tested there today.” She looked at her watch, then back up at Steve. “It’s half-past nine now. They close at seven pm, but he said the lines are long. Best to get there early.” 

After dinner Steve pulled out his laptop but ten minutes passed before he opened it up and logged in. Steve considered himself a brave guy. He'd completed twenty-four weeks of BUD/S training. He spent six years as a Navy SEAL. More than that, he'd survived everything the past ten years had thrown at him. He'd fought and bled for his state and his country. But sitting in front of his computer, he felt his hands shake as he clicked the mouse, opening Hangouts, knowing he had to tell Danny the results of the Covid test. 

He already knew, of course; Clara would have told Danny when she called to let him know about Eddie's test results. But that didn't make this any easier. 

Danny's face when he answered that video call… It reminded Steve of that hollow look he had those terrible days when Gracie was in the hospital after that car accident. "I'm sorry, Danno."

“Steven.” The way Danny said his name made Steve ache even worse. 

“It’s not--”

“Do not,” Danny interrupted him. “Do _not_ tell me it’s not a bad case, Steven, all right? This virus, even a mild case is no fucking joke, I know that much, and you and that liver. _My_ liver.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “So don’t sit there and tell me you don’t feel like shit right now.” 

“I really do,” Steve rasped. 

Danny’s face softened as he studied Steve. No doubt he looked as bad as he felt, Steve thought wearily. “I told Ma, I wish I were there. And now…” He shook his head. 

Steve got it. Even if Danny _could_ leave the island, the travel would just put him at risk, too. 

“Promise me, Steven.” Danny’s eyes bored into his, like he could read Steve’s thoughts if he tried. “I know you’ll look after my dad, but promise you’ll take care of yourself, too.”

“I promise, Danno.”


	10. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

[Thursday April 9]

The next morning, Steve was sitting in one of the recliners, trying to read his book despite a headache, when he heard the knock on the door. It opened and he spotted Clara standing at the top of the stairs, wearing a mask. "You guys okay?" she asked. 

"Could be worse," Steve told her, reaching for a mask and putting it on. "Eddie's fever hasn't gone up any higher. He's sleeping still," he said, pointing in the direction of the sofa, just out of Clara's view. 

"That's good. I bet he needs it. And you?" Clara asked, turning and reaching for a large laundry basket, setting it on the top step.

"Mine’s gone down some. Throat still hurts." He reached toward the glass of juice on the table next to him. He had little appetite and it hurt to swallow anyway, but he was trying to keep hydrated.

"Remember, change the bedding daily, and don't let him linger in the same clothes for days and days. Just put it all in a trash bag and put them at the top of the stairs so they can get washed. Make sure you're both drinking lots of water. Fresh air's supposed to be good, so if it's not too chilly for you, see if you can open one of those windows," she said, pointing to a pair of small rectangular windows that opened up to the Williamses’ backyard.

"Yes ma'am," Steve nodded, smiling at her. "You ever consider a career in the military?"

Her face softened for a moment, as best he could tell behind her mask. "How are you doing, Steve dear?"

"Feels a little like someone hit me with a baseball bat. Tired." He spotted a familiar swoosh on a medium-sized cardboard box just behind her. "That the air mattress?"

"And a few other things," Clara replied, pulling the box over to the steps. "There's also some elderberry syrup in there, and vitamins. I wrote down directions."

"Sounds good," Steve answered. "I’ll set the air mattress up as soon as he wakes up."

She nodded. "I put a notepad in there, and his blood pressure cuff. He knows how to use it. Keep track of temperatures and his blood pressure, every four hours. Yours too. And I bought an electric kettle and a hot plate. There's some tea bags and some coffee bags too, they look like tea bags. Gracie ordered them online. Who knew they had those, right?" He could see her nervous energy starting to overwhelm her. 

"Thanks for everything, Clara. I'll take care of him."

"Thank you, Steve. Let us know if you need anything. Grace and I are going to be upstairs in the sewing room, making some masks, so text if we don’t reply.” 

Once the door closed Steve walked up and lifted the laundry basket. It was heavy, filled with some of the things that they'd need for the next ten to fourteen days. A couple days worth of clothes and pajamas for Eddie; the aforementioned hot pot and kettle; pump for the air mattress; two tupperware containers filled with what looked like soup; a box of saltine crackers and a six pack of Gatorade. Steve spotted a plastic grocery bag with a note attached; 'For Steve.' Inside was a pair of slippers, two new pairs of soft, comfortable-looking pajama pants, and a few of the t-shirts he liked, all freshly laundered. The sizes were even right. 

"That's my girl." When Steve looked up, he saw that Eddie was awake. He gave Eddie a worried glance. "Just let her be, son. It's the least we can do." 

Steve pulled out a few more items: a crossword puzzle book, a DVD set of _Band of Brothers_ , a cell phone charger and some headphones. At the bottom of the basket, tucked carefully into a towel was a framed 5x7 photo of Danny's younger brother.

"There he is." Eddie carefully took the picture from Steve's hands. "You met Matty, right?"

Steve's stomach lurched. That whole incident with Danny's brother had been one of the worst times in their lives. "We met a couple times," Steve said. "Danny loved him."

"We all did. Matt could charm the pants off anyone. He could sell air conditioners to polar bears." He set the picture on the small table next to the sofa, looking at it with a fond expression. "Every night Clara and I say good night to Matt," Eddie explained. "Just our way of keeping him close." Turning back to Steve, he looked at him carefully. "When you hear Clara get after all of us to be careful, this is why. Matt's why she wants Danny back home in Jersey, and why she wanted Gracie here during this virus. Nothing is worse than losing a child. It puts everything into perspective."

News got out, as Steve expected, and he spent the rest of the day responding to messages from friends and Mary, assuring them that so far he'd lucked out with a mild case. Steve felt awful, with body aches and a dry cough that settled in his chest, but none of the more serious symptoms that would require hospitalization. He managed to keep him and Eddie both supplied with soup and drinks and medicine at appropriate intervals. Eddie's fever broke that afternoon but he still bundled under a blanket, watching an old Rose Bowl game and drifting in and out of sleep. Steve drifted off himself after inflating the air mattress and making it up with the covers Clara had sent down in the basket.

Danny seemed to be making up for not speaking to him those first two weeks of his trip. "Did you get that link I sent you?" he asked during his second video call of the day.

"Yeah, I read it. Lots of good information." He reached for a tissue, then pulled his blanket back around himself.

"Just wanted you to see it. I know my Ma's keeping in touch with the doctors and all, but just in case, you know? You're down there with him, you're the one who would know first hand if something changes." 

"I got him," Steve told him. "I promise, Danno."

"How about you, babe?" Danny asked, his eyes looking all over Steve's face. "You feeling any better?" But before Steve could answer, he heard Eddie's voice from the sofa.

"Hey, is that Danny?" he asked, his voice raspy. Steve picked up the laptop and carried it over to Eddie, who was sitting up now and reaching for it. "Daniel, how's my grandson doing?"

Steve saw Danny's face break out into a bright smile at the sight of his dad. "He's good, Dad. Got a bad case of cabin fever but we're lucky. Between the beach and the dog, we're managing." They talked for a few more minutes and then Danny had to get back to work. 

Eddie handed him the laptop carefully. "That was pretty cool," he said, smiling tiredly. "Is that how you and my son keep in touch?"

Something about the way Eddie said that made Steve wonder how much he knew about their relationship. "It is," Steve answered. "It makes it easier, being able to see faces. Especially now."

"Especially now," Eddie repeated. "Do you think I might be able to do that with Clara upstairs?"

[Saturday April 11] 

“So ‘aloha,’ you know that can mean hello and goodbye,” Steve said, getting into the topic. “Depending what words you combine it with, it can mean familial or romantic love, or love for a place.” He smiled, thinking about his home as he handed a cup of tea to Eddie and sat back down on the sofa with his own. “Love of the land, that’s important in Hawaii--Aloha ‘āina. And love of family.” 

“And that’s ‘ohana’, right? Family,” Eddie replied. 

Steve nodded. “That’s right.” He took a drink of his tea, his throat still sore but the fever lower. It had gone up and down the first few days for both of them, but with any luck their temperatures would start trending back toward normal soon. 

“What would you say if you wanted to tell someone ‘I love you’?” Eddie asked. 

“You’d say ‘aloha au ia ‘oe’,” Steve replied. He repeated it slowly for Eddie when he asked. 

“Aloha au ia ‘oe,” Eddie echoed back, stumbling a little. He tried again, grinning when Steve nodded to indicate he got it right. 

[Tuesday April 14] 

"No, I promise. I gotta go, babe, Steve and I got some guys coming over for a poker game." He looked over at Steve, laughing at his own joke. 

Steve couldn't hear Clara's response, but whatever she said made Eddie smile. "Yes ma'am. I will." Looking adoringly at the screen, he said, "I love you, dollface. Sweet dreams." Eddie closed the call and handed the laptop back to Steve. "Thank you again."

"No worries," Steve replied, putting down his book and taking the laptop and plugging it in to charge. "To be honest, I really like watching you two, still so affectionate with each other. Not that I'm listening in," Steve added quickly.

Eddie grinned and waved his hand reassuringly. "We don't have enough space in here to be that worried about privacy. On that note," he began, and reached over and handed Steve a pair of reading glasses. "Put those on. I think they'll help you out."

Steve made a face. "I don't wear glasses," he said.

"They're just cheaters, nothing too strong. Just try them." 

Steve gave Eddie a doubtful look but he slid them on, picking up his novel and looking down. "Well… damn," he murmured. Eddie was right, it was all so much clearer. "How did you know?"

Eddie stood and headed for the bathroom with the newspaper. "Just an observation, my boy."

[Wednesday April 15]

Steve pulled out his phone and began texting. 

> **How's Eddie?**

Three minutes later his phone dinged and he looked down, rewarded with a picture of his dog sleeping on the floor next to Charlie, who was playing on his Switch. Then his phone dinged again. 

> **How's Eddie?**

Steve opened up the camera app and took a quick picture of Eddie Williams, napping in his recliner, an old James Bond movie playing in the background. He sent the pic along with a smiling emoji. 

"I know you two think that's funny..." he heard Eddie grumble before rolling onto his side in the recliner and going back to sleep.

[Thursday April 16] 

“I follow baseball, but mostly end up checking scores. Danny and I’ll record the Yankees games and watch them if we can’t catch them live. Or the Mets, if they’re playing for something important, which Danny says is rare enough to warrant a look in.” 

Eddie laughed and then reached for his Gatorade as his cough flared up. “My boy’s not wrong.” He drank a few sips and cleared his throat. “He said you’re a Dodgers fan, though, is that right?” 

“My dad was,” Steve explained. “We went on this vacation when I was, I don’t know, ten maybe. Visited my Aunt Deb in Los Angeles and went to my first baseball game. It was pretty great,” he recalled. “I follow them, but San Diego and Washington, too, since I spent so much time in those areas in the Navy.” 

Eddie nodded. “I suppose that’s forgivable, about the Dodgers,” he teased. “The teams we grew up watching, they stay with us. I’ve got good memories of taking Danny and Matty to their first games.” He smiled softly. “Yankee Stadium--the old one, of course. And Shea, which was falling apart even back then. Next time you visit, we should go to a game or two.” He drank some tea. “You, Danny, me, maybe some of the others if they can get away.” 

The invitation made Steve feel warm inside. “I’d love that,” he agreed. 

“Now, football.” Eddie’s expression was curious. “Danny said you played in school. Quarterback?” 

“That’s right,” Steve said. “Well, high school,” he amended. “Not at Annapolis.” 

Eddie nodded. “And what about your teams? College, I’d guess the Midshipmen. But pro--LA there, too? Not--”

“Washington,” Steve admitted. 

Eddie groaned. “Well, I suppose no one's perfect.” 

[Friday April 17] 

Eddie snorted as Steve told the story of when he’d jumped into the Ala Wai Canal after a suspect and ended up riding back to headquarters in a squad car because Danny had refused to let him in the Camaro. “That must’ve been an uncomfortable ride,” Eddie observed. “I’ve taken a dip into the Passaic River now and then on the job.” He shook his head. “I hope your tetanus shot was up to date.” 

“Gave myself a booster in the office,” Steve admitted. Eddie nodded in commiseration. “I’ll admit, it wasn’t my smartest move, jumping in the canal. But our jobs, what are you gonna do?” he asked. “Sometimes you can’t wait around for door number two to open up.” 

“True enough,” Eddie agreed. His expression grew thoughtful. “Your stories about Five-0, working with Danny and the rest of your team…” He paused for another drink. “You’ll forgive me if I’m prying, but you don’t sound like a man who’s hellbent on retiring.” He tilted his head. “I think you said something about being on leave the other day?” 

“Yeah,” Steve replied easily. “When I left, right after--I was burned out, I guess. Everything that happened with Danny getting kidnapped and the stuff with my mother, I didn’t see my way past it.” He looked down at his hands, his fingers laced together. “Anyway. I gave the governor my resignation.” Steve took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. “She wouldn’t take it.” 

Eddie paused with his tea mug in hand. “She wouldn’t?” 

“Nope. She talked me down, suggested I go out on leave. Give myself some time to decide if I really wanted to make it final.” 

Eddie nodded slowly as Steve finished speaking. “Sounds like your governor’s in your corner. Nothing wrong with making sure you know what you want.” He sipped his tea, then got up to top it off. “So that’s what this road trip of yours was about? Trying to unwind and figure that out?” 

“It was,” Steve admitted. “She said once I got back, we could talk about what I want to do next.” 

“And do you know what that is, son?” Eddie leaned against the counter of the bar that they had turned into their own small kitchenette, where the hot pot and electric kettle were plugged in, and where they kept their food and snacks. 

Steve tilted his head. “Not exactly. Or not entirely, at any rate.” 

[Saturday April 18] 

_Gunshots._

_Danny’s voice, low and tense, the words clipped as he gave his location. Steve switched on the lights and siren and floored it, barreling through traffic with a single-minded focus. The line stayed open. He could hear Danny talking, then more gunshots and squealing tires and the sounds of a scuffle of some kind, and why wasn’t his truck moving any faster? He had the pedal to the floor but he wasn’t getting anywhere._

_Steve heard Lincoln talking but didn’t register the words; someone was_ shooting _at Danny_ and he wasn’t there to back him up _. And then he saw it and he swore his heart stopped. Danny’s black Camaro engulfed in flames, black smoke pouring out and oh God, oh God,_ where was Danny? _No, nonono no, not Danny please not that—_

_He was out of the truck and charging toward the car, he had to get to Danny, had to get him out of there. But the entire interior was in flames and all Steve could do was scream Danny’s name as he reached through the shattered window to try to get the door open and get to him, and he didn’t feel the pain in his arm, didn’t feel anything but the sheer terror and rage threatening to tear him apart as Lincoln pulled him back. Not Danny, please, no—_

“Steve? Steve, it’s okay, it’s just a dream. You’re all right, son.”

_He couldn’t be, though, because Danny was gone, they’d taken him, and Steve gave a sharp, shattered sound as the ground fell away beneath his feet and he was falling—_

He woke as he hit the basement floor in a tangle, the covers wrapped around him as he struggled against them, too panicked to register the calm, soothing voice saying his name at first.

Then it grew more forceful. “ _Steve._ It’s all right, son. Wake up, now.”

He clawed at the blankets, shoving them down, and then looked up, looking around wildly, heart hammering in his chest, until his gaze settled on Eddie Williams’ worried face. Oh. Oh, fuck.

“Eddie. I—fuck.” The fight drained out of him and he fell back into the tangled heap of bedding. Steve blinked when the back of his head hit the floor. He’d fallen right off the air mattress, and as that sank in he recalled the nightmare and reached up to scrub both hands over his face. “God, I’m sorry.”

Eddie shook his head as he came over to help Steve untangle himself. “No need, son. We all have nightmares. I guess you’ve had a lot of material to fuel yours lately.” They were both still sick, and as he extricated himself from the covers and sat up Steve groaned. He definitely felt like he’d been beaten now.

“Come on, let’s get you up. Then I think we both need a little something.” Eddie helped Steve get his wobbly legs under him and stagger over to the recliners. Then, Steve sank down, wrapping his arms around himself as he shivered. Eddie handed him a blanket and then set about making two mugs of the instant coffee. He added a shot of something to each; whiskey, Steve realized as he watched him cap the bottle again and bring the two mugs over.

For a moment Steve just sat there with his hands wrapped around the mug.

“Drink, son,” Eddie said as he got comfortable. He sat sipping his own coffee for a few minutes, the silence stretching out between them as Steve tried to get a handle on the shakes racking his body.

Finally he managed a tiny sip, then another. The warmth and the slight burn of the whiskey helped, and Steve sighed as he leaned back in the chair. “Thanks.” He was hot, not from fever, he didn’t think, but flushed with embarrassment about disturbing Eddie’s sleep. Until Eddie began to talk quietly, sharing the things that haunted his own dreams. 

Steve clutched his mug tighter as he listened. “Danny, he told me once about what happened to him on 9/11. Were you—”

“I didn’t know about what happened to him until later,” Eddie replied. He shook his head. “That definitely gave me some nightmares, once I found out. Others—” Eddie shrugged. “You could hardly avoid them if you were in the city that day, and my battalion went in help with the recovery.” Eddie sipped his for a moment or two. “Most of mine, though, aren’t about that. They’re… the fires where we lose somebody. I lost a good friend of mine, when I’d maybe been out of the academy five years. Saw it happen, and--” Eddie inhaled. “And children. Clara used to complain that I didn’t like lit candles or anything like that around the house, but… you see some things and you can’t unsee them, you know?” 

Steve nodded, thinking about Five-0’s cases involving children. It was the same. Those haunted him, too. 

Then Eddie glanced over at the framed picture of Matt. “And Matty. Not as often, anymore, but that one was pretty bad there for a while. Clara… she didn’t sleep for weeks, either, and there wasn’t anything I could do except be with her. Hell of a feeling.” 

Steve nodded mutely and reached out to grip Eddie’s shoulder for a moment. 

“Mine are…” Steve hesitated. “I lost my best friend, right before I came home to Hawaii ten years ago. We’d gone to the academy and gotten through BUD/S together. And--yeah. Not gonna forget that. Or my dad, or my mother.” He licked his lips as he reached for his mug, his mouth dry. “But mostly…”

“Tonight’s not the first night you were saying Danny’s name,” Eddie said quietly. “I’ve heard you a couple other times, but you didn’t wake up those times so I let you be.” 

Had he had others? Then he remembered. “Still get the one where Danny got exposed to the sarin,” Steve said quietly. “That was the other night. It’s been nearly ten years, but…”

“But you don’t forget.” Eddie nodded. 

“And when he got shot--every time he got shot,” Steve corrected. “But the one where we were stuck in quarantine and I had to take care of him, with the doc outside telling me what to do.” He didn’t know how much of that story Eddie knew, and didn’t want to give him any more nightmares. “And… lately, finding him in that house where they’d been holding him. Getting him into the truck, but…” 

He bit his lip hard. “Not being fast enough. That one, that last one, it’s been mixed up with my dad’s murder the last few weeks.” Steve ran a hand over his face and then up through his hair. “In my head, I’m never fast enough.” 

[Sunday April 19] 

"So I hadn't been back in town long, and didn't have a car of my own yet. I had just borrowed my brother's Charger so I could go see a movie when I saw this gorgeous girl walking down the street with two other girls." Eddie paused. They were both on their respective recliners, watching semi-professional stone skipping on ESPN. "It had just started raining, and they were running from storefront to storefront, under the canopies to keep dry." He grinned. "Now, let me tell you, she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen; blonde hair, perfect figure, cute little smile. I just got back from Nam and at that moment nothing mattered more to me than talking to her."

Steve grinned, entranced by the story. "So what happened?" he asked, taking a drink from his bottle of water.

"I pulled up beside them," Eddie answered. "Rolled down the window and asked her if she wanted a ride. She looked at the car and asked if there was room for her friends." Eddie laughed, reaching out and touching Steve's arm. "I told her no, because I only want you."

"Wait," Steve said, turning his head toward Eddie. "You said that?"

"I did," Eddie confirmed. "I mean, she walked away with her friends, calling me some choice words but we met up again later under better circumstances."

Steve looked confused. "And she still married you?" he laughed. "I'm sorry, Eddie, but that's really creepy."

"Do not underestimate the charm of Williams men," Eddie chuckled. "When we put our mind to something, or someone, we can be difficult to forget." 

"That is what I've heard," Steve grinned, nodding slowly. 

Eddie leaned forward, looking carefully at him. "Steve, I think we've become friends down here in our sickbed. Would you agree?" 

"Absolutely," Steve replied, watching Eddie as he stood and walked over to their box of snacks and wondering where this conversation was going. 

He pulled out a bag of Skinny Pop. "I gotta admit, you got me hooked on this," he said, settling back on his recliner. "Okay, let's talk. You care about my son, Steve. I think you might love him." Steve's face froze, but Eddie continued. "You don't have to say anything, just know that we, me and Clara, we've come to really care about you too. Even if it had just been the way you dropped everything to drive Grace to us, that would've made you family forever, an automatic Williams. But this time we've spent, this crazy month, hell I don't even know how long this has been going on. It feels like forever and at the same time, it feels like no time has passed at all." Steve must have had a look on his face because Eddie stopped himself. "You get older, you find yourself going on these tangents. You'll find out."

"I imagine I will," Steve answered, a little unsettled.

"What I'm saying is," Eddie began again, "I hope this trip helps you find whatever it is you're looking for, and no matter what happens between you and Dan, I hope you end up with whatever it is you need. You deserve some happiness, my boy."

He held out the bag to Steve, who reached inside and took some. "I appreciate that," Steve answered, unsure how to explain this thing between him and Danny. It was so simple, yet every turn seemed only to drive them further apart. "It's just--"

Eddie interrupted him. "Steve, I didn't bring this up to put you on the spot. I just wanted you to know that we care about you and want to see you happy. If one of my sons were sitting here, with that lost look in their eyes, I'd tell them the same." 

Steve smiled. "I don't like feeling like this. Lost," he explained, though being with Danny's family had taken much of that feeling away. But now that he was getting better, Steve knew it would be time to push off soon, and that feeling tightened up in his stomach. He'd be alone again. "I told Danny I was looking for peace."

Eddie considered those words. "I hope you find it, son. You can't really give yourself to others unless you have that inside," he said, touching his chest. "I suspect you've given and given for so many years that your well's gone and dried up. I don't blame you for taking some time for yourself."

"Everyone else seems to think it's a bad idea," Steve murmured, eating his popcorn slowly.

Eddie made a face. "You know what's best for you. But," he added, "I suspect that you won't find it until you go home and talk to Danny. There's something there, isn't there? Go out there and figure out whatever it is you need to figure out, and then go home and tell him how you feel." 

For a split second it wasn't Eddie sitting in that chair, but Joe White. _Don't end up alone like me._ "I appreciate you telling me this." Steve reached over and took another handful of the popcorn. "My former commander, he used to talk to me like this."

Eddie listened, nodding and leaning into his chair. "The way I see it, you lost your dad, and I lost a son, so…" He was quiet for a moment. "And, well, I hope someone would do the same for my Danny if his mom and I were gone."

"I don't know what to say, other than thank you." He looked at Eddie, wishing he could see himself through Eddie's eyes. 

"That's more than enough. You don't ever need to thank family," Eddie told him, chewing his snack, looking back over at the television. "Though it feels really good to hear."


	11. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

[Monday April 20]

"Looking good?" Clara called down from the stairs early Monday morning, fourteen days after their exposure.

Eddie took the instant thermometer from his mouth and examined it. "Perfectly normal," he answered, giving Steve a cheeky wink.

Right on cue, Clara snorted. "As if, Edward Williams." She came down the stairs, almost hesitant at first, then faster as she moved toward Eddie, giving him a hug. "Oh, I'm so glad this is over," she told him, kissing his cheek. "Don't scare me like this again, husband of mine."

"Yes ma'am," Eddie told her, kissing her cheek. He'd packed most of his clothes and all of the things that needed to head back upstairs. "Now, if you don't mind, Steve, I'm going to take a shit in my own bathroom." Clara smacked him on the arm. "It's been a real privilege being quarantined with you, son."

"Likewise," Steve replied, as Clara came to his side, giving him a hug and resting her head against Steve's arm. "I'll be up a little later," he told them.

"Grace is making pancakes," Clara told him. "I hope you're hungry, dear," she added, ruffling the back of his hair and making a little face as she patted it back down. "We need to put some color back in those cheeks."

After breakfast Clara and Grace left to get their groceries from the store. They had a nine o'clock curbside pick up time, so Steve offered to tidy the kitchen, enjoying being out of the basement. Even the simple task of washing dishes felt satisfying. Soon they were back, pulling into the driveway.

Steve held open the door for them. "So you're one of those people," Steve laughed as Clara and Grace entered the house, each of them laden down with multiple grocery shopping bags on each arm.

"It's a losing battle," Eddie called out from the living room, not even lifting his head from his crossword puzzle book. "Just make two trips, I tell her. Call one of us to come help you. She won't do it." But there was a fond look on his face as he glanced over at his wife. "You're teaching Gracie Grace all your bad habits."

"I think your son beat Clara to that," Steve told him. "Danny's the worst." Steve stretched his arms, feeling stronger than he had in days. "Anything else in the car?" he asked, walking into the kitchen where they were unpacking the groceries.

"Just Eddie's Diet Cokes. But you don't have to-" Clara began. Steve shook his head and walked outside, taking in the bright sunshine and cool breeze. He wasn't quite ready for running with Grace at the park, but maybe they could just walk around the block later.

Steve carried two 12-packs of sodas into the house and asked where they needed to go. After placing them on the floor of the pantry, he heard giggling and turned his head, spotting Clara and Grace smiling at him. "What happened?"

Clara was blushing. "Oh, it's nothing, dear."

But Grace was more forthcoming. "The back of your shirt rode up a little bit," she explained, pointing to Steve's back. "And Grandma wants to know how many tattoos you have."

"Grace!" Clara sighed, one hand covering her face.

[Tuesday April 21]

The nightmares these days seemed to come in two distinct flavors, like he’d told Eddie. The first were the older ones he’d had for years about missions gone bad, getting trapped or picked off when things went south. Finding Freddie. The second set, which these days were the ones that haunted him most, all featured Wo Fat or his wife as the big bad. The looming threat. Which threat it was varied; for the most part over the past few months it had been Danny trapped in his burning car or bleeding out in the back of Steve’s truck before they could get to the hospital. Or Steve getting to that house too late, finding him dead. Occasionally it was the old nightmare, the one where he was on the phone with Victor Hesse and heard his father’s murder again. Lately, the two merged together into a horrific medley of the worst moments in his life.

He could still smell the blood and hear the echo of the gunshot when he startled awake, gasping for breath. Steve fought his way out of the tangled sheets without incident this time and sat up on the edge of the air mattress, struggling to breathe, cold sweat making him shiver as he got himself under control. No point in lying back down; the images were vivid enough that he knew he wouldn’t sleep again. Not anytime soon. When he thought his legs would support him Steve stood up. He was a little wobbly as he made his way over to the bathroom, where he splashed his face and tried to get himself together.

When he felt a little steadier, Steve walked quietly upstairs, trying not to disturb the house. He went to the kitchen first and put on the kettle, quietly getting the tea out of the tin Clara had shown him and making himself a cup.

At home, he would have sat in the recliner--assuming it wasn’t occupied--and tried to doze back off, or read a little. Or, he supposed, pace the floor in his bedroom and try not to disturb Danny or Junes until it was closer to an acceptable time to go for a run or a swim. Steve saw his book still sitting on the coffee table from when he’d read a little that afternoon, but he wasn’t in the mood for political intrigue now, even the centuries-old kind. Instead, he picked up the remote and flicked the television on, muting it as he settled on the sofa with his tea.

He wasn't in a hurry to get back to the basement, and the warmth of the tea helped to soothe his jangled nerves. The twenty-four-hour news cycle did not, however, so Steve switched from Headline News to ESPN. But there were no sports scores to check, so he went on past there. He hit on the closing scenes of _Top Gun_ and stopped.

If only life were that easy, he thought. Maverick getting his dream job, going back to Miramar. Charlie turning down the big job offer to stay, too, guaranteeing that Hollywood happy ending. He turned the sound up just a tick and then wrapped his hands around his mug as he watched the two of them work it out.

He still had a soft spot for the movie. Steve was mulling over happy endings and wondering what had happened to his as the credits faded, compressed into a fraction of the screen as they sped past so that the network could start their next program on schedule. Steve wasn’t really paying attention, not at first, but when the volume suddenly increased he muted the tv again. It was infomercial time, apparently, and he looked around the living room for a clock. Three a.m.

Steve took another sip of his tea, not really absorbing what was on the screen until a memory tugged at him. Danny. Of course.

Danny and his terrible sleep habits, the insomnia that he’d battled for years. Steve remembered--it must have been the first time Danny had stayed with him. Not long after Five-0 had started. Steve had stormed downstairs because when he returned to Hawaii ten years ago he’d slept light, still so very much in combat mode after his abrupt transition to the reserves. He was tightly wound back then, Steve could admit that now.

He’d given Danny such shit for watching tv late at night and disturbing his sleep. Like Steve couldn’t have shut his bedroom door. Or just sucked it up and dealt with the light and the noise. Or, he supposed, even politely explain the situation and talk about solutions that would work for both of them. Like an adult.

But he hadn’t wanted to. Why? Steve stared down at his cup of tea in the light from the tv. _Because,_ he told himself. _The one solution you really wanted back then was the one you thought you couldn’t have._

Yeah. That was it. Steve gripped the mug tighter as he remembered those long nights when all he’d wanted was to go downstairs and drag Danny back up to bed with him, find ways of tiring them both out. Fun, mutually enjoyable ways.

But he hadn’t known, then, if that would have been welcomed or if Danny would’ve just decked him and stormed out. Gone back to HPD, maybe filed a complaint. Their partnership had still been new and their friendship even newer, and he just hadn’t had the stones to rock the boat. And so Steve had been pissy and complained about his lost sleep, and when he’d finally figured out an alternative, hoping the present of the headphones was a win-win, Danny had announced instead that he’d found a new place.

His house had been too quiet at night after Danny left.

But wasn’t that the way it had gone every time after that, too, Steve mused as he stared at the infomercial for a dubious-looking “total gym.” Every time it looked like something might actually happen between them, he managed to fuck it up. Push Danny away.

Then it _did_ happen, and what did he do? The restaurant… Steve swallowed. That had been when things really changed.

Two years ago. That fucking night at the restaurant.

It was late, just the two of them arguing as they painted/tiled/something. Springsteen’s “[I’m on Fire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrpXArn3hII)” came on over the radio and another argument began, Steve and Danny disagreeing over something stupid like they always did, like song lyrics. Steve maintained he was right. Danny suggested a sexy wager, and soon after being proved wrong, Steve was on his knees as Danny leaned back against the bar, his hands tightening in Steve's hair, holding his head in place as Danny slowly fucked into his mouth, filling Steve’s senses with his taste and scent. It didn't last long and Danny came with a quiet grunt and a quieter, "Love you, dollface."

Steve heard the words as he tucked Danny's cock back into his pants and froze. Wasn't the first time Danny said those words, but never when they were like _this_. Steve didn't know what Danny meant and after a moment he stood and brushed his lips against Danny's. Another second passed, then another and when Steve didn't respond in the same way he saw something change on Danny's face and he knew. Danny had meant it, really meant it.

Kissing him again, Steve smiled. "Yeah, me too," but it was different now, that sweet moment had come and gone and now it was awkward, colder, as if the temperature in the room dropped a few degrees. Danny didn't want another beer when Steve offered him one, and Steve didn't ask Danny to come back to his place like he sometimes did, and two days later Steve pulled out of the restaurant altogether and--

And that was the last time they'd been physical. Sexual.

Steve put his tea down on the end table next to him and pulled the soft, cozy throw blanket off the back of the sofa to wrap around himself. There was a picture in the hall of Danny wrapped in this same blanket as a kid; he’d noticed it the other day.

He hadn’t _meant_ to push Danny away like that, brushing him off so callously. Or had he? If Steve were honest, he thought maybe he had. But why? Had it been some self-preservation instinct that he hadn’t clued into until now, some part of him scared shitless that if he wanted too much, asked for too much, then he’d lose everything? Or had he just been that fucking clueless about what Danny wanted? What _he_ , himself, wanted? Steve didn’t know. But the memory of the look on Danny’s face, how that warmth and light had faded…the full weight of what he’d done hit him, and he was gutted.

That moment… that was an end to everything. Well, everything except their partnership. Their friendship. But nothing had been quite right since, Danny shaking him off the next time that Steve tried to get frisky.

Then it all just stopped.

_Dollface_. That pet name Eddie had for his beloved wife. The name that Danny had called him that night. Knowing now what feeling and emotion was behind that word choice humbled Steve and just reinforced that idea that he'd fucked it up and somehow they'd never been able to get past that.

He picked his tea back up and tried to ignore the way his hands shook and his vision blurred. All he could think was that it was his fault.

“Steve?” Clara padded into the living room in pajamas and a robe, her feet bare. “Are you all right?”

Steve blinked up at her, then took an unsteady breath. But the words wouldn’t come.

“You’re not feeling sick again, are you?” Clara asked. “No fever or aches or anything?”

“I--” his voice cracked, and he wanted to sink through the floor. He was forty-three years old, not thirteen, an ex-Navy SEAL and a cop. He didn’t _do_ this. He didn’t break.

Except the past couple of years _had_ broken him, again and again. Or… he’d broken himself. Worse, he’d hurt the person who meant the most to him in the world. And _why_? Steve managed to shake his head.

“Oh, honey.” Clara came over to sit next to him and gently took the cup of tea from his hands. She set it aside and then reached up to touch his face. “What is it, then? Bad dream?” She brushed at something on his cheek. When he managed a nod, she went still, her hand still cradling his cheek and her expression sympathetic in the dim light. “About your mother?” Danny had told them, and Steve had said a little more. But no. He shook his head. Not that.

He swallowed. “Danny.” Steve pressed his lips tight, clenching his jaw as he shook. A pained sound escaped him despite his efforts, though, and Clara made a soothing noise and slid her hand to the back of his neck, her other arm wrapping around him as she pulled him in to lean against her. “My dad, too. But mostly…”

“It’s okay,” Clara murmured. “He scared us all this time, I think.” She rubbed the back of his neck lightly, rocking a little. “Was that it, honey? You dreamed about the shooting--about Danny’s? And your father?”

Steve felt guilty when he remembered that Clara and Eddie had been stuck here, halfway across the world while Danny fought for his life. “Partly,” he managed, trying to take a deep breath but failing. The fact that he very nearly lost Danny this time, lost any chance of making amends, that still haunted him, yes. “But I haven’t… I’ve never really been able to tell Danny. I always fuck it up. Or push him away, when I want…” He broke off again, the pressure inside him too much, and another muffled noise slipped out. Steve closed his eyes as Clara murmured soothing nonsense in his ear. He gave a watery bark of laughter, but it came out as more of a strangled noise. “God, I’m an idiot. I hurt him because I was too fucking stupid to know what I want.”

Clara gave a quiet hum as she stroked his hair, comforting him like he was her own. It felt good, that gentle touch in his too-long hair. It felt so good. “And what’s that, honey?”

Steve drew a shuddery breath. Already, he felt better, the shakes slowly subsiding as Clara’s presence soothed him. “More.” His voice was thick. “I want… more.” Staying here, being here in the house where Danny grew up, Steve realized, had been the best decision he could’ve made. Because being here had given him a taste of what a family could be. What his family could have been--maybe _should_ have been.

He had some good memories of his mom and dad, the three of them as a family, and then four when Mary came along. His parents, they’d tried. But there had been things he’d been too young or naive to pick up on back then, arguments and cold silences that had eventually blown over. The way his parents didn’t really take a lot of notice of each other’s interests or careers--or Doris, mostly, now that he thought about it. Maybe that was it, all the secrets she’d carried. They’d never really had a chance. They were somehow… solitary. Two individuals, not two halves of a whole or whatever the romantic notion was.

Here, he saw the way Eddie and Clara were together, the way they teased and bickered and, yes, flirted even after decades together. He knew they had their share of more serious arguments, like everyone; Steve still remembered Clara’s extended stay with Danny a few years back when she and Eddie were having a rough time. But the important thing was, they’d mended it. Looking at them now… they genuinely enjoyed each other’s company, supported and made room for each other, and shared a fierce love for their kids and grandkids. And each other. They had their own interests, but they were still indelibly linked. Partners, in every sense of the word.

Suddenly he understood what Grace had meant that day in the car, on the way here. _This_ was what Danny wanted.

It was what he wanted, too.

[Wednesday April 22]

He'd fallen asleep on one of the basement recliners and woke up close to two in the morning. Blinking his eyes open, he saw that Netflix message on the screen. "Are you still watching?"

No, no he wasn't. Steve reached for the remote control and turned the television off, then stood up and stretched with a soft groan. Sleeping in a recliner wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but he’d evidently stayed in the same position for a while. He rubbed his neck as he walked over to the air mattress and flopped down. His laptop was open and he saw a small green dot next to Danny's name in Google Hangouts and smiled.

> **You up?**

Then he hit 'video call' and a minute later his screen was filled with Danny's tired face.

"You know, that's not how a booty call works," Danny explained, offering a slow smile. "You gotta be at least on the same continent; preferably the same city."

"So that's what I'm doing wrong." They both laughed and Steve felt all his worries and anxieties just lift off his shoulders just looking at him. Ever since he'd had that realization about what he wanted, about _who_ he wanted, he'd felt better. "Howzit?"

"Same old shit," Danny answered and Steve could see he was in the living room, wearing one of those white cotton undershirts he liked to sleep in. "These tourists, they're gonna be the death of me." Danny stretched, cracking his neck. "It's not that bad, I guess, just harder to deal with all the extra bullshit, you know? Doing our job and then this extra covid stuff. On top of that, we've been asked to try and keep our employee numbers down when possible, so every day we rotate, two of us working from home."

That surprised Steve. "For real?"

"Yeah. Some of this is optics, and I can't argue with the science, I guess. If some of us _can_ work from home, we should do that." Steve saw Danny run a hand through his hair as he tried to peer closer at the computer screen. "What about you, babe? How are you doing?" he asked, clearly trying to gauge Steve's well-being. "Feeling back to normal?"

"Not quite normal," Steve replied, stretching out on the air mattress, "but better. A lot better."

"That's good to hear," Danny said, clearly relieved. "Ma said that Dad's almost back to his old self. So what've you been up to today?"

"Oh yeah, he's doing great. Misses the fire department, but I think everyone agreed that he should take it easy." Steve didn't mention that he wanted to keep volunteering, if they let him. If he could manage. "I helped Gracie with some of her homework, at least I tried the best I could. She's got some tests next week, but I think she'll be okay."

The look on Danny's face, so fucking proud. "Engineering."

Steve laughed. "Yeah. Our girl's smart, Danno."

"Hope so," Danny chuckled. "She needs a good job where she'll make lots of money so she can take care of me in my decrepit old age."

He smiled at an image in his head, two old men sitting on their beach. "You're hardly falling apart."

"Getting there," Danny replied.

Steve could see Danny getting comfortable on the sofa, the living room dark except for light coming from the television. "Anyone else there at the house?"

Danny snorted. "There's always someone here. But right now, Junes and Charlie are outside. They pulled a tent out of the garage and are sleeping outside on the beach tonight, the weirdos. Eddie’s out there with them.”

Steve made a soft noise, wishing he were there, too. "That sounds like fun."

"No, it doesn't," Danny answered, but his voice was low and laughing, that awkward tension gone for the moment. "You better get to sleep soon, babe. I know it's really late there." There was a hesitation, then, "I miss you."

"Miss you more," Steve replied, watching Danny's smiling face until the screen went black. "More than you know."


	12. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

[Thursday April 23]

Steve had read enough horror stories about the virus in the paper and online to know he needed to not rush his recovery. He was fortunate to have escaped with a mild case, but even so he focused on getting plenty of sleep and building his walking and jogging with Grace back up cautiously, after their first walk around the block proved more tiring than he’d anticipated. So they took it easy. 

The sunshine felt good, though, after all that time indoors, and near the end of one of their walks Steve settled on a bench at the park while Grace ran ahead to the corner store to pick up a gallon of milk and some crackers for the soup Clara was making for dinner. There were a handful of people here and there, all of them keeping their distance, all masked. Steve smiled as he watched a man play catch with his tiny son and a large golden retriever. The sight made him miss his own good boy something fierce, and he pulled out his phone to send a text. 

> **Give Eddie some scratches from me and tell him I miss him.**

He just had time to read Danny’s reply-- 

> **Tell him yourself tonight, he’s working right now**

\--when a phone call took over the screen. Governor Mahoe.

Steve stared at her number for a moment before answering. “McGarrett.” His voice was still rough. 

“Commander McGarrett, hello. I’m glad I caught you.” Mahoe sounded pleased. “I hope your leave has been as relaxing as you wanted.” 

“It’s definitely been an adventure,” Steve replied. “I don’t know about relaxing, though, on the whole.” He paused to clear his throat, holding the phone away as he did. “Excuse me,” he said. “I’m getting over a mild case of Covid-19.” 

“Oh my,” Mahoe replied. “I’m glad to hear you’re on the mend.” 

“Thank you,” Steve replied. “Now, what can I do for you, Governor?” 

Mahoe hesitated for just a beat before she responded. “I was calling to check in with you about your status with Five-0, actually. You’re officially on leave, and there’s no need to make a change to that just yet, if you’re not ready to return to the task force. Assuming you decide to do that.” She paused. “I know that wasn’t your intent when we spoke before you left, but truthfully, I think you’ve more than earned the right to make that decision in your own time, once you’re rested and refreshed. The mountain of leave time you’d accrued certainly speaks to that.” 

She was right. Steve had checked when they set up the leave she suggested, and it would take a while to even put a dent in it. He sensed there was something else to this conversation, though. “Thank you for that,” he said, and he meant it. “I’m… not sure if I’d call myself ‘refreshed,’ just yet, but I’m definitely in a far better place than I was when I left. But I’m guessing you didn’t call simply to remind me I can take my time.” 

“Astute as always, Commander. I have something else to discuss with you, actually. An offer.” 

Steve’s eyebrows went up. “What kind of an offer?” 

“A job offer.” Mahoe drew in a deep breath. “Before I go on, I want to stress that you’re free to say no, whether that means you want to return to lead Five-0 or give me your resignation again when you’re ready. Please don’t feel this is in any way an attempt to force your hand.” She paused. “Though I can see how it could look that way. The fact is, I’ve got a new initiative underway here, and you’re the best person I can think of for the job.” 

Steve was intrigued and, he had to admit, a little touched that she’d thought of him despite the way he’d rushed off with hardly a look back. “You’ve got my attention,” he said. “What’s the job?” 

Mahoe exhaled. Relief that he was listening? Steve wondered. “I’m creating a task force to manage the state’s response to the pandemic. Right now we’ve got agencies stepping on each others’ toes, everyone focused on responding to the threat but not so much on communicating with each other. I want a unified, centralized, state-level team to ensure policies related to containing the virus roll out smoothly. Messaging and enforcement will come into play, too. To that end, you’ll be able to loop in both Five-0 and local departments as needed, but to be clear, your team would take point. Your military connections would also be invaluable for coordinating with the Navy and other branches.” 

The conversation gave him the oddest feeling of deja-vu. “You want me to start another task force?” 

“Who better?” Mahoe asked. “The connections you’ve made over the past ten years alone would make you a strong candidate, Steve, not to mention your service to the country. But equally important is the fact that you’re kama’aina. I need someone in this role who has that deep connection to Hawaii, too, who I trust to do his best to keep these islands safe.” She paused to take a drink, from the sound of it. “That would also mean reviewing our present efforts and developing workable plans for lockdown and reopening processes. Does that interest you?” 

“You know it does.” Steve’s attention had been caught by the problem she’d outlined, everyone doing their own thing and not joining forces to combat the threat together. His experience here, the things he’d seen in the news and on the ground, volunteering at the fire station, also made him think. The idea of helping to untangle that mess and get everyone on the same page, make sure the islands were safe? That his people were safe? That appealed strongly to his need to help. To serve. “Would I just be making recommendations to you, or would I be empowered to implement changes?” 

Mahoe’s answer was quick and succinct. “I’ll be available to consult, but you will have full authority to make the necessary changes. Your rules, my backing.” She exhaled. “No more getting shot at on a daily basis. I expect that might be a selling point for anyone you think might want to join your team. You’ll have the freedom to bring in who you want, though if you’d like a recommendation, I think Duke Lukela would be an excellent place to start. I imagine you can think of some strong candidates, too.” Her tone was definitely wry.

Steve spotted Grace coming back down the sidewalk as that last comment sank in. “You’ve certainly given me plenty to think about,” he admitted. Some small, cynical part of him recalled that it was an election year, but he brushed that thought aside. This year was extraordinary by any standards, and he had to think Mahoe would’ve done this regardless. Or Denning, for that matter. Steve had had his differences with both governors, but ultimately they’d all wanted the same thing: to keep Hawaii safe. 

Did that mean he wanted this job, though? Steve was strongly tempted to say yes on the spot, but he wasn’t sure if that was his desire to help rearing its head or a genuine belief that this was what his next step looked like. His next page. 

Was he through figuring that out? “I’ll be honest, Governor Mahoe, I’m tempted.” Steve watched Grace detour to kick the ball back toward the man, the boy, and the dog. “I’d like some time to think it over.” 

Mahoe didn’t miss a beat. “Of course, Commander. I’d like to say take all the time you need, but you and I both know this situation is constantly evolving. Would a week be sufficient?”

He did know that. “I realize time is of the essence,” Steve admitted. “A week should do. And thank you, again, Governor Mahoe. I’ll be in touch.” 

“That’s all I ask, Steve. Thank you. I’m glad you’re feeling better.” 

He was still mulling over the offer when he and Grace walked back into the house later. She gave him a look as she put the milk and crackers away and handed him a Gatorade. “Mahalo, sweetheart,” he said with a little smile. 

Grace tugged him into a hug. “Take your mask off and I’ll put it in the wash with the others,” she said. Grace and Clara had spent the time he and Eddie were in quarantine making a stockpile of cloth masks for them all. Grace had even mailed some home to Hawaii.

“Sure thing.” Steve pulled off the mask he’d worn on their walk--navy camo, which had made him laugh when Clara had gleefully presented him with it. “Or here, I’ll throw it in. They’re in the washer now?” 

“Yeah.” Grace washed her hands and opened her own bottle of Gatorade. “The ones on the clothesline in there should be dry by now.” 

Steve put his mask in with the others to be washed and started them up, then washed and dried his hands. The masks on the line were still a little damp, but they didn’t have any plans to go anywhere that he knew of, so he left them and went back into the kitchen.

The rest of the evening was quiet. The four of them had homemade soup again, chicken noodle this time, and then after dinner and cleanup--which Grace had insisted on doing by herself--they settled in the living room to watch some tv. Steve thought about going downstairs to get his book but never did. The governor’s offer was on his mind, even as he tried to pay attention to the old movie they’d settled on. 

He was still thinking as he brushed his teeth and changed for bed later, and it was on the tip of his tongue to talk it over with Danny when they chatted, but something held him back. 

He would sleep on it, Steve decided. Maybe in the morning, things would be clearer.

[Friday April 24] 

For the first night since getting sick, Steve’s sleep felt deep and refreshing. He still had a lingering cough, but it was improving, and a solid night’s sleep helped that much more. His internal clock didn’t even wake him up early like usual, as if body and mind were in agreement that he needed the rest. 

When he went upstairs, Clara smiled. “You’re looking better this morning,” she observed, reaching up to touch his cheek with the back of her hand. “Want me to make you some breakfast? Gracie and I had French toast earlier.” 

Steve smiled at her. “I can get it. I was thinking a bowl of that oatmeal from the other day sounded good, actually,” he admitted. It felt good to actually be hungry again. 

“Okay,” Clara said. “I’m going to go watch a movie with Grace, then. It’s _Jane Eyre_ , an old version she found on Amazon. You’re welcome to bring your breakfast in and join us--the reviews she found online sound pretty terrible, so we’ll probably have plenty of commentary.” 

Steve tilted his head. “I think I’ll eat in here, actually, but have fun.” She laughed and patted his arm, then topped off her coffee mug and went back into the living room. 

In the kitchen, Steve busied himself getting his breakfast together. He was stirring the pot of oatmeal when he heard footsteps behind him. 

“Morning, son,” Eddie said as he poured himself a mug of coffee. 

“Morning,” Steve replied. He glanced over. Eddie, too, looked like he’d just woken. “You want some of this? I think I was a little ambitious.” He had enough for two large bowls, from the look of it. 

“Yes, thanks,” Eddie replied. He got down two bowls and then poured Steve some coffee before setting the table. 

As they settled at the table to eat, Eddie looked over. “There something on your mind, Steve?” he asked as he stirred some brown sugar into his bowl before taking a cautious bite. “You seemed preoccupied last night.” 

“Hmm?” Steve looked up from stirring some butter into his own oatmeal. “Uh, yeah, I guess there is. I had a phone call from the governor yesterday, and it got me thinking.” 

Eddie frowned. “She’s not pressuring you to make a decision, is she?” 

Steve shook his head. “No, not really. She had an idea she wanted to run by me.” He added a little of the sugar to his oatmeal and took a bite. “It was a job offer, actually.” 

“A job offer?” Eddie echoed. He drank some coffee as that sank in. “Something new?” 

“Yeah.” Steve outlined what the governor had offered him, describing the situation and the new task force she wanted to have oversight of the pandemic response. “It’s an interesting idea.”

“Makes a hell of a lot of sense, given the kinds of responses we’ve seen in the news here,” Eddie agreed. “But is that something you’re interested in?”

Steve took his time thinking about that question as he spooned up a bite of oatmeal. “I am. I told her as much--it’s a tempting offer. I asked for time to think about it, though.” He stirred his spoon through his oatmeal, watching as it cut through the thick porridge. “I like the idea of being able to help in that way. And, well, chasing bad guys and all that, it takes a lot more out of me than it used to. Not having to do that on a daily basis, that’d be nice.”

Eddie ate a bite of his oatmeal and then tilted his head as he considered Steve’s words, a gesture he’d seen Danny make a thousand times. “I can see that. Not getting shot at, too, that’d be a good thing.” He put his spoon down and reached for his coffee. “So what is it you’re thinking about? Because it sounds like there’s a lot of upside to this job.” 

What _had_ he been thinking? Steve folded one arm on the edge of the table, his spoon still dangling from his other hand above his bowl as he thought. “I guess… I wanted to sleep on it. Maybe get some advice,” he admitted, giving Eddie a grateful look. “Part of me wanted to say yes right then, but at the same time… I don’t know. I wanted to make sure I trusted that gut feeling.” He thought about the suggestions the governor had made about candidates for the team. “I think… I do want it. And if he’ll say yes, I want Danny. I want him to be my partner again.” 

“Does that mean you've figured out what it is you were looking for, son?” Eddie asked carefully. 

Steve blinked at Eddie. “I think it might. But… it might be complicated,” he said quietly. “I guess I need to talk to him.”

“That sounds like a good place to start.” Eddie reached over and gave Steve’s shoulder a squeeze. “It seems to me that you know what you want, Steve. And in my experience, there’s only one way to uncomplicate things with someone you care about.” 

[Later that night…]

Eleven o'clock. Steve found himself looking forward to these nightly calls with Danny more and more each day, despite the light teasing he was getting from Grace and Clara. It wasn't like they hadn't talked before, but there had been some awkward times, and then those two weeks with Eddie right there. But then, over the past week, something had changed, and it made Steve very happy, snuggled on his air mattress and ending his day talking to Danny.

"Hey babe."

"Heya Danno." Steve saw that worry line on Danny's forehead and he frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked, seeing that Danny was still sitting at his desk in his office. He'd been working reduced hours since returning to work but right now it was after five in Honolulu and Danny was still at the palace. "You staying late today?"

Danny rolled his shoulders, letting his head hang from side to side. "Yeah, gonna head home after this call. Lou and I just got out of a long meeting with the governor and other state law enforcement leaders. They wanted to know if we were ready to deal with violators of the quarantine when it really goes into effect next week. I think adding enforcement of this is gonna really push the police force to its limits, and I suspect we'll have to pick up a lot of their slack."

"You guys ready for that?" Steve asked, trying not to sound like he doubted his former team or their ability to handle this. It also made him wonder how much pressure this new task force would take off Five-0 and HPD. He almost brought the governor's offer up right then and there but something held him back.

Danny snorted. "Always," he replied with this clearly false optimism. "We'll manage. We always do." Rubbing the back of his neck, Danny leaned back in his office chair. "How 'bout you? You have a good day?"

Steve grinned. "Oh, yes. It was much better after I found this," he said, reaching for his phone and scrolling to the photos. "I mean, look at this kid." Holding up the phone to the computer's camera, he displayed a picture that he'd taken from a school photo he'd found; seventh-grade Danny, bright blond hair and a mouth full of braces but mugging for that camera like he didn't have a care in the world. "Ready to take on the world."

"No, no," Danny groaned, but he laughed and that made Steve feel better, seeing Danny smile. "Put that away. Better yet, burn it." 

"No, it's on my camera forever. Gonna make it my background." They were laughing but Danny looked tired, and as much Steve loved talking to him, they both needed rest. "Go home. I'll call you tomorrow night. Give my dog a hug for me, okay?" 

"Will do, babe. Give my love to all."

"Will do, babe," Steve repeated Danny's words, catching his eye and loving that soft smile he got in return. Closing his laptop, Steve rolled over and fell asleep with a lighter heart than he'd had in a long time.

[Saturday April 25]

Danny didn't answer when Steve called at eleven. Or ten after eleven. Danny had mentioned that he would be at the office today, and now Steve was worried that something was happening with the team (or with Charlie). He decided to wait and see if Danny called him when he had time. It was a quarter til midnight when Steve's computer chirped, indicating an incoming call. 

Right off the bat, Steve could tell something was wrong, an aggravated look on Danny's face. "You okay?" he asked. "Is it Charlie?" he asked, noticing that Danny was sitting in the kitchen of his house.

Danny shook his head. "Someone in security downstairs tested positive. They sent everyone at the palace all home as a precaution, and we're all getting tested tomorrow."

"But you feel okay?"

"I feel fine, Steve. I'm just-" Danny growled quietly. "I'm just... it was one of those days when nothing went right. Getting sent home was just the cherry on top." He paused, looking at his phone and snorting. "I see you and Gracie went for a jog today," he said, showing Steve an image that Grace posted of the two of them at the park, right after a run. "That's nice," he said tightly. "Looks like fun."

Steve quirked a brow. "You mad about that?"

Danny shrugged. "I'm just saying, it sounds like you're getting really comfortable there. Enjoying yourself."

Steve's face froze, in part because things had been so good between them lately, and in part because Danny might be right. "You think I should go soon?" he asked. "You think I've been here too long?"

Danny rolled his eyes, dropping his head back. Steve could practically see him counting in his head and figured it really had been a shitty day, but he was still a little on alert until he saw Danny take a couple of deep breaths, then roll his shoulders to ease that tension. "No, no, God, Steve. I don't want you out there in this. People are _dying_ and you just got better but I'm just… frustrated and angry and I miss you and I don't want this stupid pandemic to keep you out there on your vision quest any longer. This whole spring's been like time's on pause. Nothing's happening and I know you haven't even really started whatever the fuck it was you wanted to do."

"That's not fair," Steve replied, a little exasperated himself. "You're mad that I'm still here but you don't think I should leave either."

"Yeah, I know." Steve watched Danny draw a deep breath, like he did whenever he had to say something painful but necessary. “Look, I’m not gonna ask you when you’re coming back. I know you don’t know. I know that--that goodbye on the beach, that was you saying goodbye for a long time, even if you said it wasn’t forever. I _know_ you, McGarrett.” Danny’s voice grew soft. “But that dream I had, you remember? That crazy future dream of you and me together in this house, on this beach? Watching the kids grow up?” He was quiet for a long moment, long enough that Steve was on the verge of drawing a breath, prompting him. He _needed_ to know what came next, even as his stomach knotted with anxiety. 

“Danno?” he asked quietly when the silence became too much to bear.

“We can still have that, babe.” Danny drew an unsteady breath, and Steve answered with a quiet noise. “I’ve wanted that since I woke up from it, in the hospital. Probably longer, if I’m honest. There was another pause, Danny looking around the house as if to make sure that he was alone. "I don't care if I sound pathetic, but I can't feel like this any longer and not tell you. ” 

Steve went still. “But what about--” All he could think of, oddly, was that heart on the note he’d found in Danny’s pocket. 

“What about what?” Danny asked, those blue eyes sharp and focused on him. 

“I thought--I mean, you’re not seeing anyone?” Steve wondered if Danny could hear the hope and confusion in his voice. 

“No, I am not seeing anyone. Who told you that?” Danny demanded. 

“Nobody--or. Well, I guess I thought you did, sort of. You remember I did your laundry when you got home from the hospital?” 

“Vaguely,” Danny replied, his brow furrowed as he reached up to rub at the spot on his chest where Steve knew that newest scar rested. It probably itched, Steve mused distractedly. They always did, in those first few weeks when the skin was still healing and the stitches were working their way out. “What’s that got to do with anything?” 

“It’s just, when I was checking your pockets for stuff,” Steve began slowly. “I wasn’t trying to pry or anything, Danno, you gotta understand me. But I found this note you’d written. A phone number and a date and time, with a little heart below it. I figured that meant you had a date I didn’t know about.” 

“A heart--” Danny stopped abruptly. And heaved a sigh. “Putting aside the fact that you didn’t just _ask me_ what that meant and instead spent the last, what, month and a half, two months believing I’m out here having some kind of torrid romance--” He was talking with his hands now, the clipped movements betraying the depth of his agitation.

“I never said it was a torrid romance--”

“Shut up, you, I’m not finished. Putting that aside, or the fact that you could have, oh, I don’t know, asked Junior or any other member of our team about my dating life these past few weeks, too, yes. I had a date and a phone number on a piece of paper, marked with a little heart. Got another note like that on my calendar coming up here in a couple weeks, too, if this fucking pandemic doesn’t make me reschedule it again.” Danny sighed again. “It wasn’t that kind of a date, Steven.” 

“It wasn’t?” Steve blurted before he could stop himself. “Then why--”

“It was an appointment, Steve. With a cardiologist.” Danny hesitated, then added, “Hence the heart.” 

Steve sat up a little straighter. “A cardiologist. Danny, I--” He swallowed down the panic that word had conjured. “Is everything okay?” 

“It’s not terrible, Steve, so let me see you breathe, okay?” Danny looked concerned, and Steve realized he really had gone utterly still and silent waiting for that reply. Dreading it. 

He let out a breath and scrubbed a hand over his face, then opened his eyes and met Danny’s worried, blue gaze. “Jesus, what do you mean by ‘not terrible’?” he asked weakly.

“By ‘not terrible,’ I mean I’ll still be around to heckle you when we’re chasing the grandkids down the beach,” Danny replied. “Whosever they are. Anyway, it turns out getting shot in the chest twice in the space of two, three years is not exactly great for the body, who knew, so I’m being monitored a little more closely this time around. There's been some damage they just want to keep an eye on.” He heaved a sigh. “Watching my blood pressure and all that. And, well, my recovery’s just going slower, ‘cause I’m older. You know how that is.”

“I do,” Steve agreed ruefully. 

“I’m also still working on getting the full range of motion back in my arm. It’s getting there,” Danny added quickly. “It’s just slower this time around. And… I dunno. It’s all got me thinking." Danny went quiet again, and Steve saw him fold his hands together. "I’m not sure I can keep up in the field much longer, the more active stuff,” he admitted. 

That wasn't what Steve expected to hear. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, we've got Junior, Tani, Adam, Quinn, and now Lincoln. They're all doing the heavy lifting right now, all the jumping from buildings and shit that we used to do. Or, well, that _you_ used to do, anyway. Lou’s been heading up investigations in the field, wrangling everyone out there when they need it. I'm just managing the big board from the office, running interference with the governor, and even then, they can do it without me." 

"You're recovering from a big injury."

"And I'm not getting any younger." There was a long pause, and Steve wasn’t sure why but he felt himself holding his breath again and tried to let it out unobtrusively as he watched and waited. "And, as much as I hate to admit it, it's not as much fun without seeing your face everyday. It's getting harder and harder to find a reason to come into work when I know that they can do the job just as well without me."

Neither of them said anything for a moment. "Getting old's a bitch, ain't it, Danno?" Steve asked, rolling onto his side, sliding the laptop over so he could see Danny better. "I mean, I knew it was coming but I thought I could hold out until I was at least fifty before feeling like this."

"It's been a hard ten years together," Danny laughed. "I've been shot three, four times since I met you and had to share a major organ. You, I don't want to even think about what your body's been through. It's a miracle you're still standing." He could see Danny taking a drink from his Longboard. "Anyway, this is all my way of saying that I think I'm done with Five-0 pretty soon."

As hard as it was for Steve to leave the task force, it was just as hard hearing those words from Danny. "What are your plans?" Steve asked, curious, wondering how far ahead into his future Danny had thought. Wondering if there was room in those plans for him.

"Not sure." Steve wondered if Danny was thinking about moving back to the mainland, like Clara had asked him. "No real hurry right now, I guess. No one's out there hiring middle aged cops."

"I am," Steve answered. Danny looked up sharply. "I mean, um, look. I got a call from Mahoe a couple days ago. I was gonna mention it last night, but we were both pretty tired." Steve spent the next few minutes telling Danny about the new task force and what he'd been offered. "I don't know how long this virus will last, this whole pandemic. If the experts are right, it might be a few years before everyone gets immunized and even then, there are new problems that are gonna pop up because of it."

Danny was listening closely. "You sound excited."

Steve grinned and gave a little nod. "You know, I am. This is… it’s different.” He sighed and looked off to the side for a minute, thinking about the conversation he’d had with Eddie about this opportunity. “Not just looking for criminals, shooting the bad guys, but trying to make our home a better place, a safer place. You said that to me once." Steve paused a beat. "You still mean it?"

"What do I know about viruses, except getting sick from them once or twice?"

Steve snorted. "You're the smartest guy I know, Danno. You're hard working, you're relentless, and you don't stop until you've found the answer. No one I'd rather have by my side." Then he smiled, remembering their first day together. "Anyway, the governor gave me jurisdiction, and I can just… make you my partner, if I want." He saw that gleam of recognition in Danny's eyes, the same words that Steve had used ten years ago to drag Danny onto his new task force. Ten years. 

Danny snorted. "Shit, not again," he laughed, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "Steve," Danny paused, another one of those deep sighs, "you know how I feel about you. I don't know if I can do this again, you and me, just pretending there's nothing there."

"Then let's stop pretending." When Danny shook his head, Steve pressed on. "C’mon, talk to me, Danny. I’m being serious. Why’d it take us so long to get here, to where we actually talk about it?" 

"There was always something. I mean, I thought maybe, you know, after your mom…" Steve knew what Danny was talking about. That night in his D.C. hotel room when Danny came to get him, to bring him home. He joked about the sofa but pulled Danny into his bed that night, the two of them just holding each other, just reveling in that comforting touch.

But the next day they headed home, and it was gone. "You were still trying things with Rachel." Steve paused, then added, "and then, you remember. Girl of your dreams." 

Danny flushed a little and looked away, but then caught Steve's eyes. "And you were going through and dating everyone you'd ever talked to. Looking for 'something'," he said, making air quotes. "What else was I supposed to do, Steven? Clearly I wasn't enough." 

“No. Daniel, no.” Steve was appalled. “It was never--it wasn’t like that. You, of course you’re enough. You’re everything, what are you talking about?” Then he fell quiet, recalling the regret he’d felt upon seeing that note with the heart and phone number. The misunderstanding that had ensued just because he hadn’t asked about it right away. “Besides, you were the one setting me up on those dates, or most of them. I sort of assumed that meant, well. That even if things weren’t working out with Rachel, you didn’t want…” _Didn’t want me._

“So what you’re saying is, we’re a couple of idiots.” Danny didn’t sound particularly happy about that.

"That might be a fair assessment." Steve felt his heart pounding in his chest, knowing this was one of those moments that he'd remember years later. "So, this task force… you coming on board with me?" Their eyes met and Steve remembered doing this years ago, when they were younger men, both full of anger and hurt but on the verge of the greatest friendship of their lives. "I can't do it without you, Danno."

Danny hesitated. “So I’m gonna be your partner again, that’s good, babe.” And then they were both quiet for a moment, letting that sink in, until Danny went on. “Is that all we’re gonna be? Work partners? Best friends?” 

Steve wished they weren’t staring through webcams at each other. “To be clear… are you saying you still want more?” He paused, carefully moving his hands away from the computer so he didn’t do anything stupid like tap the wrong key and break the connection and fuck this up all over again, only for keeps. No more miscommunications and hurt feelings because he couldn’t say the words he needed to. “Because I want more, too.” Steve’s voice shook. But this was it. Almost one in the morning and this was the moment, and he could not, _could not_ , get this wrong. “I want everything with you.” 

"Everything."

"Yeah," Steve answered. He could see that doubt in Danny's eyes, and maybe he could understand it, given how Steve had left. It hurt that he’d given Danny cause for that doubt. "Look, I know your mom wants you to come back here to New Jersey. Maybe in a couple years, after we get this virus under control, we could do that." 

Danny looked stunned. "You'd move to the mainland with me? To _Jersey_?"

"Absolutely," Steve replied, equally stunned with how much he meant it. "I want you." His hands were folded, clenched tight together. “But I want to make you happy, too. Whatever it takes.”

They looked at each other, a seemingly endless pause as they silently conversed. 

_You mean that, McGarrett?_

_For you? Yeah. Always._

Danny broke the silence first, a soft laugh. "Nah, can't do that. Can't leave our beach." Another pause. "I wish you were here, dollface."

_Dollface._ Steve closed his eyes, the flood of relief when he heard that word overwhelming. "Soon, ku'uipo,” he murmured. When he opened his eyes, he was smiling. Danny was, too, his expression soft and warm and open. 

Then Charlie came running into the background, Eddie close on his heels. "Uncle Steve!" he called out running toward them. Danny pulled him onto his lap so he could see the screen better. "When are you coming back home?" Eddie added a bark for emphasis.

Steve looked at Danny, smiling with a lightness he hadn't felt in years before turning back to Charlie. "Soon."


	13. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

[Monday April 27]

Steve woke early the next morning from a dream that left him gasping for breath--but not a bad one. No, apparently the longing looks he and Danny had shared when Charlie wasn’t looking had been enough to kick his libido back into high gear from its virus-induced lull. He lay on his stomach, and when he woke enough to realize he was grinding his aching cock against the mattress he froze. And listened. The light from the two small windows told him it was still early, but still he listened a moment longer, until he was satisfied the house wasn’t yet awake. 

He had no idea how long he’d been lying there humping the bed, but he was close. So close. Steve let his head drop to rest on his folded arms--he must have knocked the pillow off into the floor sometime ago--and let out a soft, muffled moan. He’d been dreaming of Danny, because of course he had, after the things they’d said the night before. Steve had dreamed he was home, the two of them celebrating that fact enthusiastically. And repeatedly. Steve clenched as he felt that phantom ache, the dream of Danny fucking him so vivid it wasn’t going to take much more to finish him off. He could hear the way Danny had whispered in his ear, filthy, sweet words, and Steve groaned as he gave into it, rocking his hips as that tension snapped in a flood of heat. 

He was still breathless as he flopped over on his side, careful not to stray too close to the edge of the air mattress. Steve stared over at his phone as he lay there panting. It was still sitting where he’d left it on top of his laptop the night before after they had talked. When he could convince his limbs to move again, he reached out for it and sent a text to Danny. 

> **Hope your dreams were as good as mine.**

Steve dropped the phone and then got up, making a face as his shorts clung to him. He hadn’t come in his pants like that in years, and his cheeks still flamed hot at the idea, however farfetched, that some of Danny’s family might have overheard him. But as he stripped down and stepped into the shower, Steve felt closer to his old self than he had in awhile. Loose-limbed and utterly relaxed. 

_Happy_. 

He took his time in the shower, scrubbing himself clean, and then when he was dressed he bundled his dirty shorts and the sheets into his arms and carried them upstairs. Thankfully, the coast was clear, and he slipped into the laundry room to put the things in the washer. 

When he emerged after starting the washer, Clara was in the kitchen getting the coffee started. “Morning, sweetheart,” she said with a yawn. Another thing Danny had gotten from his mother, Steve had learned. Eddie, like him, slept pretty light and generally woke up early, at least when he wasn’t sick. Clara, on the other hand, needed her morning coffee to get good and awake. 

“Morning,” Steve replied on his way to the refrigerator for some juice. 

“You look like you’ve got some color this morning,” Clara told him. “Getting back to your old self?” 

Steve blinked at the contents of the fridge, then pulled out a Gatorade. The back of his neck burned. “I guess you could say that,” he agreed. 

“Eddie’ll be down in a minute,” Clara said. “He was just getting in the shower. Grace, who knows. I think she was up late. Finals, or talking with that young man of hers.” 

Steve offered to help with breakfast, but Clara waved him off so he sat at the kitchen table watching and drinking his Gatorade as she mixed a batch of pancakes. “Blueberries or chocolate chips, sweetheart?” Clara asked Steve when it came time to make the all-important decision. 

“Blueberries,” Steve and Eddie said in unison. Steve looked up and laughed as Eddie crossed the kitchen, pausing to kiss Clara on the cheek on his way to the coffeemaker. “But leave Gracie Grace some batter with chips. She said she’d make hers and eat them after her study group this morning.” 

“You two get yours first, then,” Clara decided. Steve watched in fascination as Clara made the pancakes, her movements practiced as she spooned out the batter on the griddle and then scattered a generous helping of berries into each one. The method was slightly different than what he’d seen Danny do, but when Clara handed him his plate Steve groaned in pleasure. They were light and fluffy, the smell making his mouth water as he added butter and syrup, and when he took that first bite Steve made a happy noise. “These are amazing, Clara, really. Even better than the last ones.” 

“They sure smell good, I know that,” Eddie commented.

Clara laughed as she finished Eddie’s plate and handed it over. “Even if I’m pretty sure you were both coming down with the virus the last time I made them, I’ll take that compliment.” She dished up her own stack, then added chocolate chips to the remaining batter and covered it before putting it in the fridge. 

Steve waited until they both had a few bites in them, then put his fork down. “So, um, I have some news.”

The look Eddie gave him, that quiet smile, made Steve nod. He turned to Clara. “I’m not sure if Eddie mentioned it or not, but I had a job offer from the governor. Back in Hawaii.”

“He said you had some decisions to make, about your work,” Clara said curiously. “But a new job? That sounds exciting.” 

Steve nodded again. “It is.” He explained the new task force to Clara, described for them both some of the ideas he’d had about how it should operate. “Anyway, I’ve decided to accept.” He could see from the expression on Eddie’s face that he knew what was coming next, and Steve wondered briefly if Danny had called to talk with his dad already or if it was just that Eddie knew _him_ well enough now to read how happy he was. 

Then again, Danny had always said Steve had no poker face whatsoever. “I’ve also asked Danny to join me. I have a feeling he’ll want to talk to you both about it himself...” Steve had to pause, then, smiling as he glanced down at his plate. “And maybe some other things, too.” 

Clara was wide-eyed as she looked from Steve to Eddie and back again, but the smile that bloomed on her face as Steve’s words sank in was absolutely stunning. “Oh, honey.” Clara got up and rounded the table to pull him into a fierce hug. She planted a kiss on the top of his head, then pulled back to look him in the face. “Really? The job, it’s what you want?” She stroked his shaggy hair back from his temple. “And you and Danny…” 

“The job suits me,” Steve said with a nod. “I get to help keep people safe, but in a different way.” He smiled, a little shy as he basked in that affectionate touch in his hair. “Danny and me…” He drew in a deep breath. But he couldn’t keep the smile from his face. “I think we’re on the same page now.” 

Eddie reached over to clap him on the shoulder. “I’m glad to hear it, son. And congratulations.” But as Clara settled back into her seat, both Williamses seemed to realize what that all meant. “I guess this means you’ll be leaving pretty soon, then?” Eddie asked. 

Steve nodded slowly. “I mean, I need to call the governor and accept, but I think so. There’s a mandatory fourteen-day quarantine for everyone arriving in Hawaii, so the sooner I get back, the sooner I get that over with and can get to work.” He took another bite of his pancakes. “Then I guess I need to start looking at flights.” 

Clara and Eddie looked at each other again, then back at Steve. "We will miss you so much," she told him. She glanced up at a picture on the refrigerator, two boys in Little League uniforms and took a deep breath. "It's been nice taking care of a young man again," she told him, her voice almost a whisper. "Thank you for letting us have that."

Steve shook his head. "Thank you for taking care of me. You looked after me like family."

"Well, you are, son, aren't you?" 

Steve set his fork down a moment, feeling emotional. "It's been a while since I had that, you know, from parents."

"Well, you have it now," Clara told him, "and not just because you brought Grace, and not just because of Danny. You're ours now, forever." Her eyes were shining as she reached for the syrup and poured some more over her pancakes. "And don't you forget it."

Family. Steve had felt that way about his team members so many times, but usually he was the father figure, the big brother taking care of his clan. When was the last time he'd felt taken care of like this? Aunt Deb, maybe, and then she left him. But Steve knew now that he'd never again just look at Danny without seeing Clara's bright smile or Eddie's kindness and compassion. "Then I will expect a visit to my house in Honolulu so I can repay your generosity."

They all smiled. "Oh, you got it," Eddie told him, stabbing a few pieces of pancake and popping them into his mouth. "As soon as this virus bullshit’s over.” 

[Later that day...]

“Commander McGarrett.” Governor Mahoe sounded warm, if a little surprised. “I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon. When we spoke the other day, I thought we agreed you were taking a week to think about my offer.” 

“Yes, ma’am, we did.” Steve paced from the empty dining room to the den, where Grace was sprawled out on the floor in front of the tv, watching an old episode of the _Great British Bake Off_ and eating nachos, kicking her bare feet idly in the air. “The thing is, Governor, I don’t need that long. I’ve talked it over with my family, and I’d like to accept the job.” 

Grace rolled to her side and propped herself on an elbow to look at him, eyes wide. _The Governor?_ she mouthed. When Steve nodded, she sat up straight. _Of Hawaii?_ He nodded again, once, with a little eye roll for good measure. Grace clapped her hands over her mouth and bounced up and down. Steve grinned but turned his attention back to the call and Mahoe’s pleased reply. 

“Yes, ma’am, I’m honored that you thought of me for this role.” Steve felt a weight in his chest lifting that he hadn’t even realized he was carrying, as well as a more familiar feeling he hadn’t had in too long. Anticipation. The good kind, not the dread he’d become accustomed to as one bad thing after another had rocked him the past few years. “One thing, though. I haven’t said anything to the entire Five-0 team yet, but Detective Williams and I have talked, and with your blessing I’d also like to continue supporting them in a strictly advisory or administrative capacity, at least while the lockdown is ongoing. I know they’re stretched thin.” 

The governor’s response was immediate. “Of course. Commander, I respect your decision to turn the page, but I’d be an idiot to say no to that,” Mahoe admitted. “You built an incredible team there. I know the transition hasn’t been the easiest given everything that’s happened this year. As long as you feel comfortable balancing that with getting your new task force up and running, I have no concerns.” They went over the salary and other details of the offer again. He glanced at Grace’s notebook and pen on the floor, and then raised his eyebrows at her. She grabbed them and scrambled over to hand them to him, and then sat with her arms folded on the coffee table, watching and listening unabashedly as he took notes. “Now. When can I expect you to start?” Mahoe asked. “I’d like to issue a press release with a statement from you once you’re back on Oahu.” 

Steve drew a deep breath. This was moving fast, but it felt _right_. “I’m still in New Jersey right now, but I can make arrangements to fly home in the next few days.” 

“I could send one of the state jets,” Mahoe suggested. She was clearly eager to get him back to Honolulu to help manage the crisis. “And you know about the quarantine requirement. Fourteen days.” 

Steve’s eyebrows rose again. “I don’t think...” He hesitated, considering the situation. The private jet would mean lower risk. And as he looked across the table at Grace, he recalled their conversation about Rachel the day before, how she’d finally managed to get a flight from London to Toronto in a few days’ time. He scribbled a note asking Grace to text her mom as he spoke, then put his phone on speaker before placing it on the table, all while Grace’s fingers were flying. “I’d appreciate that, actually, but I have a request. I’ve got Detective Williams’ daughter, Grace, here with me, and her mother, who’s been stranded in London since March, is arriving here in the next couple of days. Would it be all right if they fly home with me?” 

Governor Mahoe’s reply was swift. “Yes, I think that’s reasonable. The jet’s going to be flying regardless, and I know it will ease Detective Williams’ mind to have Grace home.” 

“Thank you, ma’am. And of course we’ll all comply with the quarantine,” he said. Then he paused, making eye contact with Grace again as something occurred to him. “I think it’s best that I, at least, quarantine away from my house to avoid the risk of exposing anyone there.” He wanted nothing more than to be at home, to see Danny and Charlie and the others, but he refused to risk it. Grace looked down at her phone when it chimed again, then slid it across the table so Steve could see Rachel’s flight details.

“Understood,” Mahoe replied. “My assistant, Henry, will be in touch to finalize the flight details and can make hotel arrangements for you and for Detective Williams’ daughter and ex-wife, too, if needed.”

Steve smiled, relieved. “I can’t thank you enough, Governor. And I know Danny will say the same.” Grace waved from across the table, and Steve laughed. “Grace says thank you, too.”

“You’re all quite welcome,” Mahoe said with a warm chuckle. “Honestly, Commander, I know we’ve had the occasional word about Five-0’s budget, but you so rarely ask for anything for yourself. Detective Williams, too. I’m happy to be able to do this, especially knowing how you’ve both put yourselves on the line for Hawaii over the years.” 

He saw Grace beaming with pride out of the corner of his eye, but Steve just nodded. Knowing the sacrifices they’d made were appreciated, that was a good feeling, but his throat tightened and he had to take a moment before he could reply. “Thank you,” he managed at last. “That’s very kind.” 

“I won’t ask you to hit the ground running full speed while you’re quarantined,” the governor added, “but if you have thoughts on who you want on your new team, maybe we can at least get some of the preliminaries out of the way once you’re in Honolulu.” 

Steve went still. Yes, he had ideas about that. But he wasn’t sure if Danny had mentioned those ideas to Grace yet. “I might have some thoughts, yeah. Why don’t I work up a list of candidates and send it over for your input.” 

“Fantastic.” She was brisk, all business. “A preliminary budget has been established, so I’ll send over the paperwork once you’re settled in at the hotel. Anything else you think you’ll need while quarantined, we’ll arrange to have delivered.” They wrapped up their conversation with a few more details, Steve scribbling notes all the while. 

In a way, he had a similar carte blanche to the one Governor Jamison had offered him ten years before. Means to set up the task force and fund its operation, and if not immunity, then the full trust and support of the governor to do his job to the best of his ability.

The hours would still be long and irregular, but he’d take that given that he probably wouldn’t be shot at on a daily basis (hourly, Danny’s voice in his head corrects him). More importantly, neither would Danny, if all went to plan. 

“Oh, and Steve?” Mahoe added as she said her goodbyes. “Mahalo. It’ll be good to see you again.” 

Steve smiled as he put the pen down. “Likewise, Governor Mahoe. Aloha.” When the call disconnected, he took a deep breath. 

Grace was still watching him closely. “Are you happy, Uncle Steve? The peace you said you were looking for… is this it?”

He thought about that question for a moment. Then he smiled. “I think I’m getting there,” he allowed. 

Grace got up and walked around the coffee table to plop down on the couch and give him a hug. “Good. Congratulations, by the way.” 

Steve wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

  


[Saturday May 2]

"You all packed?" It was just after six in the evening in Honolulu and Danny was sitting on the beach. Steve could hear Charlie playing in the background, running up and down the beach with Eddie the dog. 

Steve nodded, pointing over at his backpack and duffel bag on the sofa. "Mahoe’s sending that plane for us, so we can leave as soon as we get there. Apparently we're taking some PPE as well, stuff that the state managed to purchase from mainland companies." 

"Look at you, getting started on the new job already." They couldn't say too much with Charlie nearby but Steve could see a lightness in Danny's face, one that matched his own. "Rachel texted earlier, she said she was in Toronto." Danny looked around as if he were worried about being overheard. "She said she could get across the border today. I think she was shooting for Scranton."

Steve nodded. "She and Grace have been texting all day. I think she made it as far as Scranton. She'll be here in the morning." 

Danny nodded, pleased to hear that. "Charlie's excited to see his mom." His voice dropped and Danny's face moved closer to the screen. "Almost as glad as I'll be to see you."

Steve groaned, closing his eyes. "This is unfair."

Danny snorted. "I'm the one with the eight year old running around." But then there was that smile, soft and hopeful. "This time tomorrow you'll be in Honolulu. You know what I'm looking forward to the most?"

"What, Danno?" Steve asked, dropping his voice to match Danny's.

That soft smile again, the one that Steve hoped no one else saw. "Being in the same time zone." Steve could see Danny glancing at his phone. "You need to go to sleep soon, babe. Got a busy day tomorrow."

Steve looked down at this computer clock. After midnight. "You're right. I'm sure Grace and Rachel will be in touch with you tomorrow once we touch down so they can go get Charlie. I'll let you know when I get to the hotel."

"Lou called and made sure you got a good sized room. You let us know if there's any problems with it, okay?"

"I appreciate it," Steve said. "Thanks for letting me know. I'll thank him tomorrow." But that brought up another question. "Have you mentioned anything about the new task force to the team yet?"

Danny shook his head. "I figured you'll want to do that once you're here. I didn't know if there was any press release or what your plans were for the team." 

Steve nodded. As excited he was about the new direction he was going in his life, this was a conversation he wasn't looking forward to. "Let's talk more about that tomorrow. I'll be working on potential team members on the plane ride over." Steve looked up, suddenly reminded. "You have a cardiologist appointment Monday?" he asked, double checking. 

"Yeah," Danny said. "Just a check-up. Nothing to worry about."

"I'm always gonna worry 'bout you, Danny. We'll talk about it tomorrow."

Danny nodded, and just then Charlie and Eddie zoomed by in the background. "Uncle Steve!" Charlie called out, running for the computer. "You're bringing Mom and Gracie back to Honolulu tomorrow!" he said excitedly. 

"Yes I am, keiki," Steve affirmed. "Are you excited to be going back to your Mom's house?" Charlie nodded and Eddie barked. "Hey, I heard you were taking care of my dog for me. How much do I owe you for all that dog feeding and brushing?" He could see Danny shaking his head and Steve laughed even harder. "How much? One hundred dollars? Two hundred dollars?"

"Don't do that," Danny murmured as Charlie cackled, "One million dollars!"

Danny glared at Steve at Charlie and Eddie ran off. "See what you did?"

Steve missed them so much. "O kou manao ka mea a pau iaʻu, ku'uipo." He knew Danny didn't understand what he was saying but he also knew Danny understood what he meant. 

_You mean everything to me, sweetheart._

Danny looked back at him with open need in his eyes. "Travel safe, dollface. I'll see you tomorrow."

[Sunday May 3]

"She's here!" Grace had been waiting by the window and when she saw her mother's rental car pull in front of the house, she called out loudly to everyone. "Mom's here!"

Everyone else had been waiting at the kitchen table, Steve enjoying one last cup of coffee. "I guess our ride's here," he said, standing and picking up his backpack. 

"Give all our love to Danny and Charlie," Clara said, hugging Steve tight and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "And promise me that you'll be careful. You are precious to us."

Steve nodded, that lump in his throat keeping him from responding right away. Then Eddie had his hand, shaking it hard before pulling him into another hug. "Thanks again for everything, Steve."

"I should be thanking all of you," Steve answered. "You took me in like family, took care of me."

"You _are_ family," Clara told him, her hand on his arm as Eddie carried Grace's luggage to Rachel's waiting car. "We love you! Good luck with your new job."

Steve had never been on a private jet before--at least, not one where he could enjoy the experience, he reflected, thinking about that harrowing flight back to Honolulu with Wo Fat in custody--but Rachel had some experience with navigating around private airport terminals. "My mother once dated a man with his own jet, and I got to take a few flights with them when I was young," she said as they found the correct lot. 

“How is Amanda?” Steve asked her. 

“Quite well, thank goodness. She sends her regards, by the way,” Rachel told him with a smile.

After parking the car, they went inside and Rachel returned her rental car. Their plane was waiting for them, and after a quick check of IDs, they all walked out to the aircraft steps with their luggage and boarded the plane. 

Grace and Rachel sat on one side of the plane, and Steve sat opposite them. "My offer still stands," Rachel told Steve as the jet began taxiing down the runway. "I've got a guest room at my house, and you're more than welcome to stay with us instead of a hotel." Reaching for Grace's hand, she looked over at her daughter, smiling. "It's the least I could do for what you did for Grace."

Steve shook his head. "I appreciate the offer, I really do." It felt genuine and generous and Steve did understand that it was coming from a good place. "I just think the hotel will work out better for me right now."

"Steve needs some alone time," Grace laughed. "We've all been stuck together for over a month." Her expression, though teasing, told Steve she might be aware of the general drift of things with Danny and him. 

He grinned. “I don’t know, I think I was pretty lucky getting to shelter with you guys.” Steve noticed, then, what Grace was wearing. “Say, isn’t that my hoodie?” He hadn’t seen it in a few weeks, that he recalled. 

Grace gave him an innocent look. “Yes. It’s really cozy.” 

He grinned and shook his head. 

Grace was right, though. Steve was looking forward to some long phone calls or video chats with Danny, now that they were in the same city again. He wouldn’t feel comfortable about having those in Rachel’s guest room, no matter whether they led anywhere physical or not. And he _hoped_ there might be some of that, he wasn’t going to lie to himself. 

Flying into Honolulu was always a sight to behold, the way the water turned this brilliant turquoise color as you approached the shore. He saw the palm trees, he saw the white sands and Steve felt it all click into place. 

The jet lag wasn't as bad when you headed east to west. The local time was a little before five in the evening, but it felt like close to eleven at night for Steve and the others. But he was home. If he couldn't find his peace here, he'd never be able to find it anywhere.

Pulling out his phone, he started texting Danny before the plane even stopped taxiing on the runway. 

> **Just landed.**

> **[smiley face emoji]. Thanks again for bringing Grace and Rach back with you.**

Steve began to respond, then realized that Rachel was on the phone with Danny, making arrangements to pick up Charlie. "I bet he'll be excited to see you two," Steve told them, watching Grace as she pressed her face against the window, looking outside. 

Rachel nodded. "I may never let him out of my sight again. Either of them," she added, her arm around Grace. "I hope that we'll be able to go see my mother sometime soon," but both she and Steve seemed to wordlessly agree that wouldn't happen for quite some time.

His phone vibrated. 

> **Let me know when you get to the hotel**

[Later that evening…]

"You're home."

Steve made a face. "Not quite, but close." He was lying on the king size bed in his spacious hotel room at the Hilton Hawaiian Village, freshly showered and waiting for room service to deliver some dinner. It was just after six in the evening but his internal clock told him it was after midnight. "How are you?"

Danny nodded. "I'm good." Steve could see that Danny was in his bedroom, stretched out on his bed as well. "Junior's making dinner tonight, so I guess that means pizza." Danny's eyes scanned behind Steve, looking around. "How's the room?"

Steve grinned. "It's great. Lots of space." Just as Danny had said, Lou called the hotel and put in a good word, with the result that Steve was in a large, airy corner room directly facing the ocean, with floor-to-ceiling windows and lanais on two sides. Steve would have been fine in the room the governor’s office had booked, but being upgraded was a nice perk of being home where everybody knew him. He had space to work and sleep and relax, and to work out if (when) he got stir crazy. 

Danny's smile was infectious. "I always liked staying at the Hilton." 

Steve was reminded again of that night he and Danny had spent here after Chin’s wedding, in that suite of Danny’s that had been very much like this room. "Me too." Steve had left the curtains open and now he sat up, looking out over Waikiki Beach. "I did miss this view."

"What else did you miss?" Danny asked, folding his arms under his head.

"I missed my dog," Steve answered innocently. "How is he, by the way?"

Danny snorted. "Spoiled. Not my fault. Anything else?"

Steve caught Danny's eye. "I missed you."

That smile. "That's what I wanted to hear." Steve could see Danny rolling onto his side. "Oh, I'm going to sleep well tonight. Charlie's been sleeping in here with me and the kid kicks almost as bad as you do." 

"I don't kick, Danno."

"Every little thing wakes you up," Danny groused. "I'm not complaining, I'm stating a fact." But Danny's face told Steve that he was just as anxious for them to be together as Steve was. "So," Danny began. "I believe the word you used was 'everything.' With us, you wanted _everything_." Danny grinned. "Care to be more specific?"

Steve gave a little shrug of his shoulder. "You know I'm better at showing you than using words."

Danny nodded. "This is true. You're terrible with words."

Now it was Steve's turn to laugh. He'd spent too long away from his best friend. "I wish you were here, Danno."

"Me too, doll." There was a knock on Steve's door, both men turning their heads at the sound. "Go eat and then go to sleep, okay? I know all about that flight from the East Coast to Hawaii. We'll talk more tomorrow. I think the team's gonna want to see your face, so expect a Zoom meeting at some point." 

"That sounds good," Steve answered. "I'll let you know when I wake up." They said their goodnights and then Steve went to get his dinner. While he ate he texted his New Jersey family and Grace (because that's what they were now, his family) and told them he was tucked safely in his hotel room for the night, even sending a photo of the room so they could see. Then, at a quarter to seven in the evening, Steve crawled under the covers and slept.

He left the sliding glass doors open to let in the fresh ocean breeze. As he drifted off, Steve had a fleeting thought that this wasn’t the wisest choice, but on the other hand he was on the twenty-seventh floor. Not likely anyone was going to disturb him up there, unless a seagull came flying in to investigate, he mused as he grew still.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

[Monday, May 4]

Monday morning, and Steve woke to the early sun streaming into his room. The sound of the waves had lulled him into the deepest, most peaceful sleep he’d had in months. Maybe years. When he stretched and turned over on his side to reach for his phone where he’d left it on the nightstand, he saw that Danny had already sent him a text. 

> **Good morning, dollface. I hope you slept well.**

Steve lay there gazing at those simple, sweet words for the longest time, a soft smile on his face. He missed Danny fiercely, and instead of getting up out of bed he lingered there under the covers, giving in to the luxury of having nowhere to go, nothing to interrupt this quiet awakening. He’d taken care of other bodily needs sometime in the early hours, so there was no urgent need to leave the bed now. Instead, Steve began to type. 

> **Morning, ku’uipo. Can’t remember the last time I slept so well.**

His phone rang seconds later. Steve wondered if his smile would be evident in his voice when he answered, but the moment the call connected Danny was already speaking. “Good morning,” Danny said again. His partner’s voice was low and rough with sleep, the sound curling warm in the pit of Steve’s stomach. 

“Good morning,” he repeated, goofy grin stretched wide. They were being ridiculous, but Steve wouldn’t change a thing. Well, maybe _one_ thing. “Did you enjoy having the bed all to yourself?” 

Danny chuckled softly, and the sound made Steve shiver. “Mmm, yes and no.” Steve heard rustling, as though Danny was shifting into a more comfortable position. “My son is an eight-year-old starfish, I’m pretty sure, so it was nice not being kicked awake every time he flailed around. But,” Danny broke off with a yawn. “On the other hand, the bed felt awfully empty.”

“That’s a shame,” Steve murmured. “You got any ideas what you’re gonna do about that?” 

“Nothing to do but wait, for the time being. But I’ve got plenty of ideas to fix that when you get sprung from quarantine.” When Danny spoke again, his voice was impossibly lower. “Would you like to hear some of them?” 

Steve rolled over onto his back. “I would.” 

“I suppose I could give you a little preview,” Danny mused. “For starters, I’m kicking everyone out for at least one night. Except Eddie. He knows how to mind his business, so he can stay.” 

Steve laughed at that. “I like the way this is starting.” 

“I can guarantee, you’ll like the way it ends, too,” Danny began. “Because--” There was a noise in the room. “Shit, hold that thought, babe.” He heard Danny talking in the background, Junior’s voice fainter but recognizable. “Well, fuck. You’re gonna have to hold that thought a little longer, doll. We caught a case,” Danny said, apologetic. And annoyed. “I’m sorry, Steve.” 

It felt a little strange, being on the other side of that now, not having to hurry out of bed to join them, and he definitely mourned the lost opportunity to share a first with Danny, something he, at least, had never done before. “No worries, Danno,” he murmured. “Go, be safe. Tell everyone I said hello.” Steve smiled as he shifted back onto his side. Just because he was being understanding didn’t mean he couldn’t leave Danny with something to think about. “I’ll be here thinking of you. Thinking of how we’re gonna pick up where we left off.” 

“That,” Danny began with a groan, “is unfair, McGarrett. And on that note, I really do have to go.” He was quiet for a minute. “I’ll call you tonight. Aloha, dollface.” 

Steve blinked, then smiled brightly. “Aloha, ku’uipo. Until tonight.” 

He got up when the call was over and went to take a shower, still thinking about how good it had felt to hear Danny’s voice first thing and to share that quiet conversation as they lingered in bed, both clearly wishing they could taste and touch. As he lingered under the spray a little longer than usual, Steve thought briefly about taking the edge off but instead he reached over to turn the water temperature down. He wanted to wait for Danny. 

When he was finished Steve pulled on some shorts and a tank top and got out the contactless thermometer Clara had gotten hold of for him before he left. Steve checked his temperature and wrote it down; better to have a record than not, he figured, just in case he had a relapse. It was normal, as expected. With that done, he went out on the lanai while he waited for his room-service breakfast. The view was even more stunning in the morning light, he mused, his eyes drawn toward Diamond Head first as he sipped his coffee. He must have seen it a million times and from just about every angle, but something about seeing it today felt fresh, familiar yet new. But best of all, seeing it meant he was home. Or close to it, he thought, remembering what he’d said to Danny the night before. 

When he heard that knock at the door that signaled the arrival of his breakfast, Steve went inside. He ate quickly and then settled in with the notes he’d made on the plane ride home. The governor had said he didn’t need to be at top speed right off the bat, but the question of who he wanted and needed on his new team had kept him occupied even when Rachel and Grace had dozed off during the flight. Steve sent his list over to the governor and then spent some more time just standing out on one or the other of the lanais and soaking in the sights and sounds. He felt the ocean calling his name and wished he could go for a swim, but that wasn’t allowed, according to the file the governor had sent him outlining the quarantine restrictions. The hotel had given him the same information when he checked in, too, and it was also posted in the room, he’d noticed. 

The rest of the morning was spent fielding the dozens of “welcome home” messages and calls that rolled in as word got around that he was back. One of the first was an email from Tani; when he opened it, Steve saw that the entire team was copied. The subject line read “7:00pm. Be there or be square,” and the message included nothing but a link to a Zoom conference. 

Aside from his phone call with the governor over lunch, Steve spent the remainder of the day relaxing and catching up on the local news. When he had his fill of that, he settled in one of the lounge chairs on the lanai with his book and whiled away the afternoon finishing it off. 

That night at seven Steve logged onto the computer. From the looks of it, everyone was at home, though Junior and Tani were sharing the same screen, sitting in her living room. _Interesting,_ Steve thought, wondering how serious they were getting. Lou was at his kitchen table. Quinn looked like she was sitting on a small apartment patio. Adam in his living room in his apartment. Even Cole joined them and that, more than anything, told Steve that he'd become a part of the team.

“Nice hair, boss,” Tani called out with a broad smile. 

Danny, of course, was on their beach, sitting on one of their wooden chairs. "Looks like the gang's all here," Danny grinned. It looked like he'd brought out one of their small tv tables to set the laptop on and Steve swore he could hear the waves lapping on the shore.

But… "Is that my hoodie?" Steve asked, seeing his favorite Navy hoodie enveloping Danny right now. "Couldn't believe I left that behind, especially when it got cold, and man, does it get cold at night in Utah."

"Finders keepers, babe," Danny told him, grinning broadly. "But you can ask nicely."

Tani cackled at that, and soon everyone was laughing, enjoying their beverage of choice. Everyone wanted to hear stories of Steve's travels, abridged as they were, and he spent most of the next hour telling them about seeing Chin and Kono, his adventures in camping, and then staying at Joe's house for a few days before getting the call.

“Grace’s apartment, it’s very nice,” Steve said with a grin. “Very ‘twenty-first century broke college student’. Particularly the couch, to which my back can attest. But I’ll tell you, she’s a first class road trip companion and makes a fantastic playlist.” He paused, thinking about all of the time they’d spent together over the past month. “She’s a great tour guide, too, and showed me around the neighborhood in Jersey. Introduced me to the best ice cream on the planet.” 

“Bold claim, McGarrett,” Lou interjected. “You tellin’ me there’s something better than a hot fudge sundae from Ghirardelli?” 

Steve chuckled. “I am. I’m told they ship, too, or will once the pandemic settles down again, so maybe we can arrange a taste test.” He smiled a little as he recalled choosing the ice cream for Clara and Eddie. “I bought some for Danny’s folks, as a thank you for letting me stay with them.”

“Very nice. That’s the best hostess gift I’ve ever heard of,” Quinn observed. “I mean, why be boring and buy wine or flowers when you can get something people actually enjoy?” 

"I guess,” Steve agreed. “Anyway, the lesson to be learned here is that if you have to be quarantined for a month with someone, I highly recommend Danny's family. They’re the nicest people and made me feel like one of their own."

A collective "Aw," was heard and Steve could see Danny's little grin. 

After an hour Cole and Adam said good night. The others continued, regaling Steve with some of the more memorable cases that they'd caught since his departure. The sun was going down now and Steve, he was relaxed and content, but wanted to say something before everyone departed.

"Well, this has been fun, but I can't afford another minibar beer," Steve told them. "You guys can bring me some beer and snacks when you bring me a computer so I can help out." After noticing everyone get quiet for a moment, he added, "You _are_ gonna bring me a computer so I can help out, right?" There was a moment of light debate, Lou worried about pushing Steve too quickly after his illness, but in the end they agreed to send over a computer and VPN setup the next day so that he could help with some Five-0 cases. "It'll give me something to do right now," Steve insisted. "I promise, I can be helpful. Let me do this for you guys."

Soon they were all logging off. "It's good to see you, Steve," Lou told him. "Glad you're back, my man, even under these circumstances."

"Me too." 

"And if there's anything else that you need, let one of us know. We'll add it to your care package," Junior said. Tani smacked Junior lightly. “Ow, what?!” 

“The care package that’s supposed to be a _surprise,_ ” Tani informed him. 

Junior shrugged as if to say “oops.” "Yeah, that one. Anyway, text me tonight and I'll get everything together from your house, or the grocery store or whatever if you want more than just snacks." 

And then, it was just Steve and Danny. "You look right at home," Steve told him. 

"Someone's got to take care of the old homestead." They looked at each other for a moment. "Let me know if there's anything you need over there."

"Off the top of my head, just you."

Danny smiled again, and Steve wanted to see that look on his face every day for the rest of his life. "You know how to make a guy feel good."

"Oh just wait, I got more moves you haven't seen yet," Steve told him.

"Very smooth, McGarrett." Danny stretched, looking around. "I'm heading inside now. I'll talk to you tomorrow, babe." They said their goodnights and Steve closed his laptop, counting the days until he was on that beach with Danny.

[Tuesday May 5] 

The call from the front desk came just after 8 that morning, a warning that he had a delivery on its way up. Not five seconds after Steve hung up, his phone pinged with an incoming text. 

It was Junior. 

> **Headed up. Got to stay distanced or the manager said he’d have my ass, immunity or no.**

Steve had figured out, mainly from how quiet things were, that the Hilton had placed him on an empty floor or wing. The resort hadn’t been busy anyway, from what he could tell when he checked in and the long looks he had when he was outside on one lanai or another to soak up the sunshine and fresh air. It was necessary, he knew, to contain the threat if he should fall ill again. But it was lonely, too. When he heard footsteps approaching and the quiet thumps of items being put down in front of the door, Steve had to make himself stand there just inside the door, masked and waiting. 

A sharp knock, then he waited a moment longer, counting the footsteps as they retreated. Then, only then, did Steve open the door. When he stood there on the threshold and looked out, he saw Junior standing about eight or ten feet away next to an empty luggage cart, hands in his pockets. “Good to see you, brother,” Steve said, smiling behind his mask. He could see the way Junior’s eyes crinkled above his, too. 

“You’re looking good,” Junior replied. He studied Steve for a long moment. “Little out of regs, there,” he said, pulling one hand out to gesture toward his own head. “But you look… happy.” 

Steve gave a bark of laughter as he reached up to touch his hair where it curled over his ear. “Been kind of distracted the past few months.” 

“Yeah, I guess.” Junior gestured toward the bags. “Got you the supplies you asked for, and some other stuff. The tech, you know how to set it all up. Danny sent you some hard copies of a couple of files, too, I think.” 

Junior seemed to have something on his mind, his expression and body language screaming tension, like he was steeling himself for the worst. “C’mon, out with it, Junes.” 

“Just… are you back for good?” Junior paused. “I don’t mean Five-0, if you’re really done with that, but are you home?” 

Steve knew his abrupt departure had hurt more than just Danny, but hearing the hope in Junior’s voice made him realize just how much he’d been missed. “Yeah, Junior. I’m home.” He took a deep breath, then, looking down at the bags at his feet as he considered how much more to say. “Between you and me, I got some news for the team about what, exactly, I’ll be doing. I’m still gonna be helping you guys out for the foreseeable future, but I’ve got something new I’m working on.” He bit his lip, then. “I’d like to keep that quiet, though, until I can tell everyone.” 

“Understood,” Junior said with a nod. His shoulders relaxed, though. Steve was grateful he’d never had to explain himself to Junior, not about things like keeping things quiet. Not when it counted. 

“You been using my truck like I offered?” Steve hadn’t wanted it to sit idle, not when it could be useful. But he was also honest enough with himself to realize that he needed to think about making a change. It was nearly brand new, but he would never be able to forget that desperate ride to the hospital. The smell of Danny’s blood. 

“Some,” Junior said. “My car’s been in the shop a couple times, so it’s come in handy.” 

“If you want to retire the El Camino, it’s yours,” Steve said before he thought. He held up a hand. “I mean, if you want we can work something out. I just… probably will be selling it anyway. Making a fresh start.” He grinned behind his mask. “Figure maybe Danny’ll let me drive his new Camaro now and then until I get something new.” 

Junior snorted and reached up to scratch the back of his neck. “Uh, he might. If he had a new Camaro.” 

Steve frowned. “He hasn’t replaced it yet? What, has he been driving the truck, too, or something?” 

Junior shook his head. “Nah, he hasn’t been driving your truck. But I think I’ll let him tell you about that.” He glanced at his watch, then. “The manager said he’d come looking for me if I didn’t stop back by in about ten minutes, so I’d better head out.” He paused before turning. “Let’s talk about the truck again when you’re out of here.” 

Steve nodded, then waved as Junior turned to start down the hall. “Fair enough. See you later, brother.” 

Once Junior was out of sight, Steve carried all the bags into his room. First things first, he set up his workspace, unpacking his own work laptop and the other tech Junior had brought him. He logged into Five-0’s network and sent a message to Danny, just to let him know he was good to go. And because he was curious. 

> **No Camaro??**

The reply was almost immediate. 

> **I told him not to say anything.**

Steve’s brows went up. 

> **What’s the big secret? So you got something different. What, another Mustang? That one I rented in California was pretty sweet.**

> **You’ll see when you get here.**

> **You’re making me wait?**

> **Patience is a virtue, Steven.**

Then he settled in to get caught up. 

Steve began by skimming through the files Danny had sent, looking for anything the team might have missed. Even if most of what he was doing was paperwork and research and running down whatever leads he could by phone and internet, it felt good to be doing something useful. Supporting his team again. 

It also reinforced that Steve had made the right decision. Five-0 would always hold a special place in his life and in his heart, but he was ready to move on to the next chapter. He’d expected to feel a little left out or sad about that, but instead he was incredibly proud. The team he’d built--that he _and Danny_ had built--was tough and resilient. They would endure. 

A growl from his stomach made him realize he’d worked through lunch. As he pushed away from the desk and stood up to stretch, Steve spied the other bags Junior had dropped off. He got a bottle of water out of the minifridge and padded over to inspect those.

The first few were full of groceries. One had nothing but two six-packs of Longboards, each with a curly blue gift bow affixed to the handle. The next had the peanut butter and loaf of bread he’d asked for, along with other nonperishable foods. Tani must have packed the bags, because he found sticky notes from her with commentary on many of the items. A jar of strawberry jam with a purple note that read “A gift from me, because plain peanut butter is just masochistic.” All his favorite snacks, including a bag of Skinny Pop kettle corn (“I owe you, like, five bags of this, in case you were wondering who was eating it all before you left, so consider this a down payment”), some MREs (“From Junior. Please tell me this is some SEAL in-joke and you’re not actually going to eat these”), and an entire pineapple. There was also a box of cutlery and some plates and napkins and other supplies, including soap and hand sanitizer. 

The duffel bag held clothes. While he was mostly sitting around the hotel room in his boxers or a pair of shorts, Steve appreciated the thought. He found a selection of his own jeans, shorts, polos, and some underwear. A favorite pair of slippahs. And, folded at the bottom, something bulkier. Steve pulled the well-worn Navy hoodie out and stared at it for a long moment. He remembered Danny wearing it the night before, enveloped in it as he sat on the beach. When he shook it out a familiar scent wafted toward him and he lifted it to his face, shuddering as he breathed in deep. It smelled like the ocean and _Danny_ , the best things in his life. It smelled like _home_. Steve smoothed one shaking hand over it as he started to fold it again, but paused when he felt something in the pocket. He reached in and pulled out a folded piece of paper. When he opened it, he ran his thumb over Danny’s familiar scrawl. _Until you come home to me._ And below that, a heart. 

That wasn’t all there was, though. As he set the hoodie aside and started to move the bag, Steve realized there was still something weighing it down. He peered inside the bag again and pulled out an item wrapped in one of his old tank tops. When he unrolled it, he found the hair clippers he’d asked for. Beneath that, there was a tupperware container full of his favorite cookies, with a card that was clearly from Charlie taped to the top, with _Welcome Home, Uncle Steve_ in slightly uneven script. 

Later that night, Steve stood in the bathroom, running a hand through his shaggy hair. He hadn’t gone so long without a haircut in years, but frankly he’d had plenty of more important things on his mind the past few months. At this point, though, the ends were curling out all over the place and his options were to slick it back a la Danny, or cut it. Picking up the clippers reminded him of the last time he’d inflicted one on himself, two years before. He’d been standing in their shared bathroom in the hospital’s isolation unit, then, not in his own, solitary bathroom at the Hilton, but once again, here he was in quarantine, staring at himself in the mirror as he shaved his head. 

When he was done, he cleaned up the mess and studied himself in the mirror for a long moment, freshly shorn hair, tattoos, scars, and all. Not too bad for forty-three, he supposed as his gaze reached his face once more. Where he’d seen nothing but lines and shadows a few months before, there was something different now. 

It took him a few minutes to figure it out. The lines were still there, but the shadows were almost gone. Steve wondered if that was just the product of a couple months’ rest, or the better frame of mind he’d gotten into with all the support and love that had been lavished on him by Danny’s family. His family. He gave himself another look and then climbed into the shower to wash away the stray bits of hair dusting his shoulders, back, and chest. Then he FaceTimed Danny. 

Danny was quiet for a long time, just looking at him. “I know I said I’d give you hell if you ever did that to yourself again, Steven,” he said at last. “But to be honest, I’m happy to see the grey. I missed it.” 

“Yeah?” Steve stretched out across the bed. He’d pulled on some clean boxers but hadn’t bothered with a shirt, still warm from his shower. As he settled on his side with the laptop in front of him on the bed, he reached over to dim the bedside lamp. “Well there’s plenty of it.” 

Danny was quiet for a moment, just looking at him. “Does that seriously bother you, babe?” 

Steve shrugged. “Not really.” He lay his head down, one arm folded under it. “I earned every one of them.” 

Danny snorted. “That is true.” He was still looking, though, and Steve crooked a little smile when he saw the way those blue eyes scanned his body. “You look a little thin.” 

The worry on Danny’s face made Steve feel loved, and yet he just wanted to soothe it. “I lost a few pounds while I was sick,” he admitted. “Nothing tasted right, even your mom’s amazing cooking.” He reached out before he could check himself, the urge to touch Danny overwhelming. Instead, he had to settle for letting his fingers graze the screen and then pull his hand back. “She made us soup, made sure we had plenty of fluids. But I really only got my appetite back a few days before I left.” 

“Gonna have to feed you up when you get home, dollface,” Danny murmured. “If there’s anything, _anything_ , you want or need while you’re stuck there, you tell me, all right? Or tell Junior or someone. We’ll bring it over.” 

“Okay.” Steve knew Danny would worry about him until he was home. “I’ll do that.” He stretched and groaned softly. “I can think of some things I need that I’m not gonna discuss with anyone but you.” 

Danny let out a bark of laughter. “Charming, Steven, that’s charming. You, uh, saying you need a little something to take the edge off?” 

Steve’s smile this time was slow and warm. He was comfortable, sleepy but not exhausted like he had been the first couple of days as he reacclimated to Hawaii time. “I dunno, Danny, seems like every time we’ve been in the mood, we get interrupted.” Steve wanted, yeah. Of course he did. “Even the dream I had, back in Jersey, I woke up before the end.” 

“The dream.” Danny’s face lit up, his smile wicked. “I don’t recall you telling me about a dream, babe.” 

“Mmm. It was a good one,” Steve replied. He blinked at Danny, then smiled. “You were, uh. Taking the lead.” The way Danny’s eyes darkened made Steve’s body react, and he shivered. 

Danny reached for his bottle of beer, then cleared his throat. “You enjoyed it, babe?” 

“In the dream, definitely.” Steve grinned, then. “And out.” 

“And out--” Danny stared at him for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice was low. “Jesus, Steve. That is--that is some quality material you’ve just provided me with.” 

“Material?” Then it clicked, and Steve was momentarily wide awake. He grinned delightedly at Danny. “You saying you’re, ah, filing that away for a rainy day?” 

“Rainy day, nothing,” Danny retorted. “As soon as we say goodnight’s more like it.” He gave Steve a crooked grin. “But right now, I can see those eyelids getting heavy, babe. You’re like Charlie, always fighting it. Go to sleep. You’re gonna need your rest for when I get you out of there.” 

Steve wanted to protest but before he could he yawned, long and loud. Then he sighed. “I’d better.” He shifted into a slightly more comfortable position. “Miss you, ku’uipo.” 

“I miss you, too, dollface. Now get some rest.” Danny was still watching him, his expression soft and open. Longing. 

Soon, though. “I will if you will,” Steve murmured as he reached out to end the call.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

[Thursday May 7]

"So, what's going on," Lou asked, settling into his office desk and peering at the computer screen. "And none of this 'helping out from the hotel room' bullshit. You got something going on, don't you?" Lou asked. 

Steve laughed, shaking his head. "Danny always said I have no poker face." 

"He's not wrong, Commander Naval Intelligence," Lou answered, "but I also know that no matter what kind of rest and relaxation you think you need, you aren't the sort of man to just watch the house burn down. You're gonna help put out the fire, that's who you are." After giving Steve a knowing look, Lou continued. "Which is why I hope this call is for you to tell me what you've got up your sleeve. You coming back to us?"

"You never were slow on the uptake," Steve told him. "Yeah, I've, um, got something going on. Is your door closed?" When Lou nodded, Steve continued. He spent the next ten minutes divulging the details of the new task force that the governor created to deal with the virus and other potential aftershocks that might arise even after a vaccine rolled out. 

Lou's face remained impassive as Steve spoke, but his eyes widened slightly when Steve mentioned Danny. "You're taking the last of the old guard there, Steve," Lou said. "I'm not gonna lie, that feels like the end of an era, and as happy as I am for you to be back, that makes me a little sad, the idea of you two starting a new project on your own."

"Well, I guess you'll have your hands full leading Five-0," Steve told him. "You'll be too busy to miss us," he added, but the look on Lou's face belied that. "What, did I say something that's not true?"

"I don't know, man," Lou dropped his head. "I mean, you're telling me how tired _you_ are… hell, Steve, I'm ten years older than you! I'm tired too," he added. "Renee's been jumping on my ass about when I'm retiring. Hmph," Lou pointed at the computer screen, "you forget, young man, that I spent twenty-five years on the force in Chicago _before_ ever joining this circus of yours." He shook his head. "I'm not the man you're looking for." Turning his head, looking over the laptop's camera out at the central office area, Lou smiled and waved at someone. "Besides, you got someone else right here that's ideal. You even pulled a gun on her the first time you met, like you did Danny."

Steve paused a beat, then he understood. "Quinn?" he asked, leaning back in his chair. "You think she'd do it?"

"One of the smartest people I ever met," Lou told him. "Won't hesitate to make the hard call. Got some pretty good military connections for when we need to call in favors, too. But even more than that, she's got a way of making all these good people work better. Ask Danny what he thinks about it," Lou added. "But that's my recommendation."

“I appreciate it, Lou,” Steve told him. “Oh, hey, by the way, what’s Danny driving now?” 

Lou shook his head. “Man, that was a lame attempt. You want to know, ask him yourself.” 

“I did,” Steve admitted. “He said, ‘patience is a virtue’.” 

“Well, then,” Lou replied, leaning back in his chair. “I’d say that’s an answer.” When Steve scowled, Lou looked up like he was scanning the office through his windows, then leaned in toward the screen. “I will say this. It’ll be worth the wait.” 

[Later that day…] 

Danny agreed with Lou, and he even offered to quietly sound Quinn out first, since they were both in the office that day. Steve declined, but he did ask Danny to create some kind of an excuse for a meeting so the three of them could conference without interruption. 

“So I’m guessing this isn’t about my requisition for camo zip ties, since I’m pretty sure I never made one,” Quinn announced as she appeared onscreen, sitting at her desk. 

Steve cut his eyes over at Danny, the picture of innocence. “Zip ties?” 

Danny shrugged. “They were what came to mind.” 

Steve shook his head, grinning. “No, it’s not about zip ties. Or requisitions, at least not directly.” He studied Quinn quietly for a moment. “I guess the easiest thing to do is to just say it. I won’t be returning to lead Five-0.” He explained the governor’s offer, the new task force and all it entailed. “And Danny, here, he’s agreed to come on board with me.” 

Quinn didn’t look particularly surprised at Steve’s announcement, though the news about Danny was clearly new. “Wow. Congratulations,” she told Steve. “I mean, it felt like you were thinking about a change before you left, but I’m glad to hear you’ll be around. And the new job, that sounds like it’ll be keeping you on your toes.” She was more reserved, still, than some of the others, but Steve could feel the sincerity in her good wishes. Quinn Liu’s good opinion was one worth having; he’d figured that out not long after they’d met. “It won’t be the same without either of you here.” 

“No,” Steve agreed. “Lou called us the ‘old guard.’ The last of the original team. It’ll definitely be a change. But… with that said, Five-0 will need a leader.” He paused for just a beat. “We’d like it to be you.” 

Quinn looked stunned. “Lou…”

“Is thinking about hanging it up before too much longer,” Danny interjected mildly. “Not immediately, but sooner rather than later.” 

“You’re a natural leader,” Steve picked up the thread again, “and you know the team. You know how everyone works, how to push them to do better when they need it. And you’re a damn good detective.” Steve could see the shock fading and could tell Quinn was listening. “I--we--will be around, as you said. We’re not gonna just drop everything on you and head out the door. I already have the governor’s blessing to keep helping the team out, and Danny, I’m sure, will have that, too, if he wants. We’ll help with the transition however we can.” 

Quinn exhaled. “This is… not what I expected today.” She was quiet for a minute. “Those are some imposing boots to fill, you two know that?” 

“My advice?” Danny asked. “Don’t think about it that way. You take this job, you make it your own, Quinn. You’re more than capable.” 

Steve nodded. “Danny’s right. I’m not--neither one of us expects you to do things the way we’ve always done them. Come at it with your own skill set, your perspective, and make it yours.” He could see that they’d given Quinn a lot to think about. “I hope you’ll say yes, but if you want, why don’t you sleep on it?” He looked at Danny. “I think… I want to tell everyone my news tomorrow at happy hour, since it’s fairly time-sensitive. And,” he admitted, “Since you’re all outstanding investigators and I’m sure the others are starting to wonder what’s going on. But we can hold off a little if you need more time.” 

“You really think I’m the best candidate,” Quinn said, sidestepping that offer for time. 

“I do,” Steve said immediately. 

“Then it would be my honor,” Quinn said with a nod. 

[Friday May 8] 

Tani had suggested another happy hour so on Friday night, the gang minus Adam got back together over Zoom. Tani and Junior back at her place. Renee joined Lou this time on their sofa and soon everyone was smiling and laughing. Danny was back on their beach, still in his button down work shirt, sleeves rolled up, drinking his Longboard. Even though the group was chatting, telling work stories from the week, Steve felt like Danny was looking right at him, right through him. 

But after everyone shared, it was Steve's turn to tell them what was really going on. "Some of you know what I'm about to say. You guys all know how much Five-0 means to me. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say creating this task force saved my life when I was in a very low place." He paused, looking over at Danny, because Danny saved his life too, but those words would come later, quiet and private between them. "Leaving you all and leaving the task force was the right thing to do at the time," he affirmed, "but coming back home is the right thing to do right now, too." 

He glanced over at Quinn, seeing her nod. "About two weeks ago, I got a call from Governor Mahoe," he began, and then told them about her offer. Tani and Cole clearly hadn't heard about this, surprise registering on their faces. 

Renee, on the other hand, sipped her wine, a knowing look on her face.

Steve gave Danny a nod, waving at him with his hand, and then watched as Danny took a deep breath, setting his beer down. "Well, I guess it's my turn. You guys've all heard the story of how Steve shanghaied me ten years ago, pulled my out of my cushy police desk and threw me into the line of danger."

"That's a bit of--"

"Literally shot in the arm the day I met you." Steve and Danny looked at each other for a moment, both of them remembering that day, slow smiles eventually dawning on their faces. _We've come a long way._ "Like I was saying," Danny continued, "Steve has asked me to join him in this new endeavor of his, and as I am apparently not a smart man who learns his lessons, I've reluctantly agreed."

This didn't seem to be a surprise to anyone, the idea that Danny would go off with Steve. "It's sad when they don't learn from the past," Tani murmured, but she smiled at both of them. "It was tough losing you, Steve, and now Danny? It's not gonna be the same."

"Now, it doesn't mean we won't be around. Hell, I think we might be getting office space in the palace," Steve told her. 

Cole leaned forward in his seat, looking intently at the computer screen. "Is this going to take some of the pressure off the police, enforcing the quarantine?" he asked. "Or will this be bigger, like helping get more testing and PPE?"

Good questions. "More of the second," Steve told him, "but hopefully we'll help organize law enforcement so that we can be more efficient." Steve proceeded to tell them all a little about how he envisioned the task force. 

"Something tells me you're not done headhunting from some of our fellow agencies," Lou said, eying Steve, who shrugged. 

But he couldn't deny it. "I've got some names on a list."

"Well, I think I speak for all of us when I say that we wish you luck. Speaking of wishing someone good luck, I think now’s a good time to make another announcement."

Tani's eyes widened. "Jesus, Lou, not you too?" she groaned. 

Lou laughed. "No, not yet," he told her. "But probably sometime in the near future," he said, looking over at Renee who was giving him a look. "No, right now I want to raise my glass to toast the new head boss of the Five-0 Task Force, Quinn Liu." 

They all toasted her, glasses raised from all their respective homes, accompanied by raucous cheers. Steve set down his drink on the table next to him and clapped, feeling a chapter close in the book of his life. He'd done his best for Five-0, watching as its members joined together to become family, watching as several of them moved on when their time came. Now it was his time to go.

But he wasn't going alone. Steve glanced over at Danny, so grateful that he was joining him in this new venture and about to say so when he spotted a cigar being pulled from Danny's shirt pocket. 

"One of those nights?" Lou asked as Danny lit it and began puffing away.

"No one home to bitch about it tonight," Danny told them, leaning back in his chair. "I mean, except the dog, and he understands." 

Another hour passed and soon they were saying their good nights, mixed with congratulations and plans to do this again next week. Steve and Danny were the last on, again. "That went well," Danny told him, picking up his laptop and heading inside. 

"I think so," Steve agreed, grinning as Danny walked through the house. "You know, making you my partner was the smartest thing I ever did."

The laptop landed gently on the living room table, Danny flopping on the sofa in front of it. "It was a hell of a day," Danny answered. "Who knew where it would lead."

"Would you do it again?" Steve asked, not sure where the question came from, but Danny joked about it enough that sometimes Steve wondered. 

Danny smiled. "Would I have a choice?" But then that smile faded slightly, as if the weight of their ten years settled on his shoulders. "If I could go back and talk to myself, I'd have told me to tell you sooner, I think. Made my feelings clearer, how I felt about you."

"We got there in the end, ku'uipo," Steve said. There was so much more he wanted to say, but those weren't words meant for a webcam. "I'll dream of you tonight."

That smile was back on Danny's face. "Goodnight, dollface. I'll talk to you in the morning."

[Monday May 11]

Steve had one collared shirt that he thought looked professional enough for his talk with the governor. He hung it in the bathroom while he showered to knock out some of the wrinkles and pulled it over his head as he walked over toward his 'office'. 

At five 'til eleven, he clicked the link to enter the Zoom meeting, waiting less than a minute before he was joined by the governor. 

"Steve," she said, pushing away something on her desk. 

"Governor." Clearing his throat, he added, "Thank you for seeing me this morning."

"Glad to do it. You can understand that I'm anxious to get this new task force off the ground. Every day we seem to be losing ground with this virus."

"Yes ma'am," Steve agreed. He looked down at his handwritten notes. "I've gotten Detective Williams on board. He's agreed to transfer over to the new task force."

"You got ideas for a name yet?" she asked, smiling. "My staff tells me that Five-0 was your idea."

"It was a team decision," he told her, a pang of nostalgia at that memory; Sitting in the headquarters with Kono, Chin, Danny, tossing names around. "Maybe… Strike Force," he said, feeling a little silly. He could tell from the look on her face that she didn't think it was very funny. "I'll keep thinking about it," he added quickly. 

"Good idea," Mahoe told him. "Tell me who you've got on your short list."

Lifting his notes up, Steve went over who he wanted. Duke Lukela as his law enforcement liaison. Doctor Kailani Kahue, Director of Emergency Services for The Queen's Medical Center for healthcare. Royce Palakiko, CEO for Aloha State Food Processing and Manufacturing for industry. Elizabeth Sullivan, CEO of the Bank of Hawaii for finance. Javier Soliz, an infrastructure engineer for the city of Honolulu.

But she raised an eyebrow at a few of his choices. "I'm not familiar with Rick Wright."

Steve nodded. "He's a local business owner who has a lot of connections in the tourism industry." 

His next suggestion was even more surprising. "Stan Edwards?" she repeated. "Isn't he--"

"Yes," Steve nodded. "He is the ex-husband of Detective Williams' ex wife." It was an interesting choice, but one that Danny agreed was a good one. "There isn't any animosity between them. He's a very successful developer here and has many contacts in the business community. I think he'll be a good fit."

Governor Mahoe didn't look like she was as certain as Steve was, but she didn't say anything. His final suggestion, Lt Commander Brendon Pace, however, made her pause. "I would think that you have enough connections with the leadership at Pearl to not need a go-between."

Steve nodded. "You're probably right. But I think --."

“You think what?” 

Steve took a deep breath. “I do have the connections, you’re right. But I think it would be a good idea to have someone on active duty directly connected with the task force. I can step in when I need to, or when there’s something that requires a favor being called in, or we need to go over someone’s head. But the plain fact is, I’m retired. Having someone to keep us current on what’s going on over there will be an asset.” 

Mahoe looked thoughtful. “I hadn’t considered that. And it will take some of the load off your plate,” she conceded. “You’ll have enough as it is.” 

"Thank you, Governor. I appreciate your support." Once the call ended, Steve took a deep breath and hit the 'call' button next to Danny's name. 

"How did it go?" Danny asked, looking at Steve on the screen. 

"She had a couple questions, but I think she'll agree to our slate of task force members." Steve chuckled. "You were right, she was surprised about Stan," he said, standing and walking over to the small fridge. He pulled out a bottle of water and walked back to his computer. "I wasn't sure she'd make the connection but I guess Honolulu is still just a village. You okay?" he asked, Danny's face frozen as Steve sat down.

"Um," Danny looked incredulously at him, "did you just have a meeting with the governor of Hawaii wearing your boxers?" he asked. 

Steve looked down then back up again at Danny, grinning wickedly. 

[Tuesday May 12]

"Ordinarily I'd say take your time and think about it, but realistically, Duke, we need an answer by the end of the week. I'm sure you understand."

Steve could see Duke's face, that slightly shocked expression almost gone, replaced by his characteristic serious, steady mein. "No, I understand, Steve, and I appreciate the time. I just need to talk to my wife about this." Steve spotted a Golden Retriever walking in the background, and he watched it climb up and flop on the sofa in Duke's living room. "I'll be honest, we've been talking about when I should start thinking about retiring, not looking for a new job." He shrugged. "But these aren't normal times."

"No they're not," Danny added from his own onscreen window. "The sooner we get started, the more lives we can save. You're the best at what you do, Duke, and we need you."

Duke smiled at the compliment. "It's an honor to be asked, guys. I hope that I can contribute what you need to the team."

With that, Steve knew that Duke was on board. "Talk to Nalani and get back to me when you can. Mahalo," he added as Duke left the meeting, leaving just Steve and Danny. "What do you think?" he asked, reaching for his glass of water. 

"He's in," Danny answered, reinforcing what Steve thought. "Who else on the list did we need to talk to?" he asked. Steve saw him pick up his laptop and move it from the living room to the kitchen.

A glance at the clock told him it was almost six. "Rick Wright’s a yes, too. Pace is running it by his CO but said he’d get back to me by Friday. That just leaves Palakiko, Soliz, and Stan, but we can contact them tomorrow." He saw Danny opening the fridge, looking around. "Want to have dinner with me?"

Danny snorted, unbuttoning the top button on his shirt. "I thought you'd never ask."


	16. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

[Wednesday, May 13]

He heard the sirens before he thought anything of it. When they talked earlier in the morning, Danny had anticipated it being a slow day, and with Quinn and Lou working from home, Steve had turned his attention to his new task force, returning calls and getting their last few people on board. Royce Palakiko declined because his wife was expecting twins any day. Steve offered them his congratulations and best wishes. Then, just as he disconnected, his phone lit up again with an incoming call. Stan Edwards.

“McGarrett,” he said.

“Commander, Stan Edwards here.” The sound switched from the echo of speakerphone to sharp clarity as Stan picked up the phone. “I hope you’re well. I heard through the grapevine that you’d caught the virus.”

“The grapevine being a certain eighteen-year-old, I bet.” They both chuckled. “Yeah, I did, and I can tell you, the ‘mild cases’ are every bit as terrible as they say.” Steve smiled. “But I was in good hands.”

“That’s what Grace said,” Stan replied. “I know she felt better getting to her grandparents, no matter how independent she is now.” He paused. “I’d have gone to get her myself, if I’d been close. I’m glad she could count on you.”

“Always,” Steve said simply. “Though from what I hear, she knows she can count on you, too, man.” He didn’t want to venture into awkward territory, so he took a deep breath. “So, you were thinking my request over.”

They fell into discussion about the current state of affairs, Stan providing a few useful details about the other islands that Steve hadn’t yet picked up in his daily news rounds. By the end of the conversation, Steve had a clearer sense of how the pandemic was affecting development across the state. Stan was not only on board but made a couple of suggestions to round out the task force.

The sirens were louder when he hung up, and Steve frowned as he got up and walked across the room to step out on the lanai. They weren’t particularly close but there were a lot of them, from the sound of it, and he went back in the room and turned on the television. When he found one of the local stations, he saw a breaking news graphic. Then the shot shifted to the palace.

Shots fired. Steve’s ears started ringing. 

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, staring at the television while this all unfolded. Steve saw the HPD cruisers all over the place, watched and listened as the anchors talked about them setting up a perimeter, their news truck getting pushed back down the block. Then a report that the capitol building was locked down as a precaution. 

Steve knew how it went. He’d commanded scenes like this too many times over the past ten years, and he’d been on the inside, too. He knew what his team was doing, because they’d trained for this time and again on his watch. 

But it was a very different thing, he found, watching from a distance. Helpless. He sank onto the edge of the bed, remote in one hand and phone in the other as he watched SWAT roll up outside.

When the anchors broke away once more to talk with an HPD spokesperson, Steve texted Danny. 

> **Please tell me you’re not there. Or if you are, tell me you’re okay. Even though I know if you are, you won’t answer this.**

It took him entirely too long, his hands shaking as he typed.

Danny didn’t answer and didn’t answer. Neither did Lou, Quinn, Lincoln, Tani, Adam, or Junior, not at first. Steve didn’t bombard them with messages, aware that they had enough to be dealing with, but he worried. And watched. He saw Lou’s SUV pull up to the police barrier, Quinn’s on its tail, and figured they’d met up somewhere on their way in. A few minutes later he saw a shot of them both talking with HPD’s SWAT captain and a couple others, all of them geared up. 

He sat there watching as they went in. Until he couldn’t any more. Then he got up and paced, the television still on in the background in case there was news of any of them. Or a statement, even better.

But nothing. Steve was on the verge of leaving the hotel and taking his chances when _finally_ Junior responded. 

> **All clear. Couple of us got banged up. Danny’s okay.**

Steve’s knees gave out and he sank back to the bed, eyes shut. _Danny’s okay._ He’s okay. When he could get his fingers to work again he texted a reply.

> **What do you mean ‘banged up’? Who? Sit rep, please.**

> **Danny and Tani got a few scrapes and bruises. Lincoln might have a sprained ankle, but he’s walking it off.**

Then a text from Danny. 

> **Stop pestering Junior. I am fine, we’re all fine, I will talk to you asap. [heart emoji]**

He paced some more, the television still on in the background as he prowled the room. Never had he felt so helpless before. But as he stepped back out onto the lanai and stared out at the ocean, Steve finally admitted to himself that it was better that he’d stayed here in the room, where he was supposed to be. His people--even if they weren’t his team any more, they were still _his people_ \--were the best of the best, and him showing up at the palace would have been a distraction. One they didn’t need. 

When his phone rang, at last, Steve dove for it. He picked it up where he’d left it on the bed and had to close his eyes and just breathe for a second when he saw Danny’s face. “What the hell happened?” he demanded in lieu of a hello. 

Danny sighed. “Someone had an ax to grind with some of the guys downstairs. A disgruntled former employee. Shot up the office, then barricaded himself in.” 

“Christ.” Steve’s eyes squeezed shut for a moment. “You know, I thought…” He shook his head. “I thought it might’ve been targeting HQ. And when I didn’t hear from you…” 

“I’m sorry, babe. You know how it is, though, when shit happens.” Danny grunted. “Wasn’t us, not this time. We heard the shots and locked down, then got geared up. Lou and Quinn coordinated from the outside.” He was quiet for a moment. “We cleared our floor, then worked our way down. Found a few people in the stairwells, evacuating. Got them out.” 

He was downplaying the whole thing, Steve knew that. “Junior said you got hurt, you and Tani and Lincoln.” 

“Tani’s knee got twisted a little, but no damage from the sound of it. She’ll just be taking it easy a few days.” Danny leaned back gingerly in his desk chair. “Now Lincoln, like you, has the self-preservation instincts of a gnat, so he jumped in and tackled the guy. Had the upper hand until he rolled his ankle, gave the guy a chance to get to his gun. Junes took him down before he could get to it.” 

Steve stared. “And you?” 

Danny made a face. “Asshole landed a few kicks, but I’m fine.” 

Steve let out a frustrated noise, one hand scrubbing over his hair. “Show me,” he said at last. 

“Excuse me?” Danny’s eyebrows were up. 

“You heard me, Daniel.” Steve stared back at him, undeterred. “Show me.” 

“Right now, babe?” Danny looked around, and that’s when Steve realized he was back in his office at the palace. 

He didn’t care. “You heard me.” 

Something on his face must’ve convinced Danny how serious he was, because he saw the way his partner gave in, almost a bodily consent. Steve watched him get up, slowly, and when he disappeared from view Steve waited. And listened. And then he heard it, the telltale sound of the blinds snapping shut. 

When Danny stepped back in front of the camera, he was already unbuttoning his shirt. “I haven’t had to undress in this office since you were here last,” Danny mumbled as he slipped the last button free and shrugged the shirt off with a grimace. 

Steve didn’t miss that pained expression. And when the striped dress shirt--always one of his favorites--slipped off, he saw the reason for it. The bruises were already darkening on Danny’s side, not the worst he’d seen, but bad enough. Because it was Danny. “Shit.” 

He watched as Danny twisted to look at them himself, one hand skimming lightly over the discolored skin. Then he reached for his belt, and Steve’s breath caught as Danny’s hands went to the buckle, unfastening it and then his pants, enough to slide them down off his hip for a better look. “Christ, Danny.” The bruise extended downward, not as bad but clearly visible. 

Also clearly visible with the way he was twisted was the upper curve of Danny’s ass, and Steve swallowed as he took in the sight in front of him, Danny in all--or most--of his glory right there in his office. “Yeah, that’s probably gonna hurt like a bitch tomorrow,” Danny admitted with a sigh. 

“If it makes you feel any better, this right here is something I’ve fantasized about more than once,” Steve said. “Not you getting the shit beat out of you, but you naked. In the office.” 

Danny looked up at once. “Is that so, babe?” He didn’t seem to be in any hurry to cover back up, either, as he sat down in his desk chair and adjusted the camera so Steve could see him. “Do those fantasies involve you just watching me jack off, or are they generally more participatory in nature?” 

“Definitely participatory,” Steve said. He slid back on the bed until he was sitting up against the headboard, then reached down to slide a hand into his shorts, his body already reacting. “Sometimes I suck you off, sometimes I fuck you over the desk. Sometimes you do me.” Relief and love and worry, all of it was fueling the frantic need building inside him now, he knew that. But it looked as though Danny was right there with him. 

“That filthy mouth of yours,” Danny sighed as he leaned back in his chair, his legs splayed wide as he pushed his boxers down and took his own firm cock in hand. “What am I gonna do with you, Steven?” 

“Keep me.” Steve shoved at his shorts, pushing them down enough to free himself, then started to stroke his length. “Love me.” 

“Those are given, Steven,” Danny informed him, his hand moving faster. Steve watched the way he arched, grunting when a movement pulled at the bruises on his side. The way he bit his lip so hard, trying to be quiet lest someone come looking for him. But they were both too needy, too desperate for this to wait. 

Danny finished first. Steve felt his cock pulse but he paused as he watched Danny spill all over his stomach and hand. It had been so long since he’d seen that, seen the way Danny looked in that moment. Flushed and sated and breathless. 

When Danny’s eyes blinked open again, Steve gave himself another stroke, then another. “C’mon, dollface,” Danny murmured. “Wanna see you.” 

Steve groaned softly as he felt that familiar sensation building at the base of his spine, and he kept his eyes on Danny’s as it washed over him, that tension finally snapping. 

“That’s it, babe,” Danny murmured, and Steve sighed as he sagged back against the bed. He wiped his hand on his shirt--he’d striped it anyway when he came, and he managed to wiggle out of it before curling up on his side, cradling the phone so he could still see Danny, who was making his own efforts at cleaning up. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said. Steve watched as Danny looked up from buttoning his shirt again, his expression impossibly soft. 

“I’m glad, too, dollface. Glad you were safe over there in your hotel room, too.” Danny sighed. “Even though I know it must’ve been hell for you, not knowing what was going on.”

“Yeah,” Steve admitted. “I didn’t like knowing I didn’t have your back. Not after this spring.” 

Danny sat back down with a thump. “I didn’t like that a lot, either. I’m glad we’re gonna be doing something else, babe.” 

It was time. They both knew it. 

“You should go home,” Steve said a moment later. “Take a hot shower, put some of that salve in my medicine cabinet on those bruises. At least, I think it’s still in the medicine cabinet.” He stretched and sighed. “Order from the Chinese place for dinner.” It was what they’d always done at the end of a shitty day. "And call me before you go to sleep."

"Will do," Danny told him, and then he was off. Steve knew there would be paperwork and interviews and making sure the team was taken care of, emotionally as well as physically.

Then Steve lay back down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. 

Just a few more days. 

[Monday May 18]

The two weeks that Steve had spent with Eddie in the basement back in Jersey seemed to fly by; maybe it was the fever, maybe it was the company. During these last two weeks here in Honolulu, Steve was arguably much busier but the hours seemed to tick by slowly, the digital clock next to his bed mocking him, reminding him that he was stuck here in this room. Alone. 

But finally it was done. The hotel's paperwork showed that he registered at 5:45 pm, and technically that was when he was allowed to leave. Lou suggested that he could probably leave earlier in the day, since he'd satisfied the technical requirements of the quarantine, but Steve knew that in his new position as leader of this new task force he'd be asking people to undergo hardships and do things they didn't want to do for the good of Hawaii. He couldn't start that off by circumventing the rules for himself, no matter how badly he wanted to see Danny. 

> **I'll see you soon.**

The plan was for Danny to come to his hotel room that evening. Steve tidied up all of his notes and other papers that had ended up scattered all over the room. He'd made the bed as best he could and now he was messing with the pillows, expending some nervous energy.

As ready for tonight as he was, Steve still jumped at the quiet knock on the door. Taking a deep breath, Steve walked over to the door, unable to hide his smile as he opened it. "Hey--"

It was Junior, with Tani right behind him, both wearing their badges. And masks. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, bossman," Tani said, pushing past Junior to get into Steve's room. "Sorry 'bout this," she said, throwing her arms around him. "I missed you."

Steve hugged her back as Junior followed her into the room, the heavy hotel door closing behind him. "I missed you guys too," Steve said, looking over Tani’s head at Junior. "You look good."

"You too," Junior replied. "You feel okay? No lingering… I don't know, symptoms of it?" he asked. 

Steve shook his head. "I feel good." But his smile faded. "Where's Danny?"

Tani held out her car keys. "Waiting for you at home."

Steve's eyes widened. "Wait, what?" he asked. 

"He wanted to surprise you," Junior answered, walking toward Steve's white board, impressed by all the notes. "We can pack this stuff up for you, unless you want to just come back tomorrow and take care of it yourself?"

"I'll do that," Steve told him. "You two, go have a good time." Tani's face broke into a wide smile, taking Junior's hand. "But not too good," he added with a grin as he clapped Junior on the shoulder.

Junior nodded. "If you let us know tomorrow, we can help move this back to your house, or if you have some office space set up for you already." 

Tani was more direct, as usual. "Go," she said, pushing Steve toward the door. 

“Okay, okay,” Steve said, but he smiled at them both before he grabbed a mask off the desk and stepped out into the corridor. 

Five minutes later he was fiddling with the driver’s seat in Tani’s car, trying to push the seat back enough to fit behind the wheel. Steve had taken a look at her Chevy Spark and nearly opted for a cab or an Uber instead, but there were none in sight and he didn’t want to have to make small talk all the way home or risk exposure. So Tani’s tiny car it was. 

The car was impressively nimble, but by the time Steve pulled into his driveway and parked behind his truck, he was fairly sure his knees would revolt if he had to drive it on a daily basis. He unfolded himself from the car and stepped out, frowning when he caught a flash of blue parked on the other side of his truck. This must be Danny’s new car, he realized, and as he got his backpack and locked Tani’s car he felt some anticipation bubbling inside him. Finally, the mystery would be solved. 

When he rounded his truck and saw the car parked there, Steve went still. He’d loved the Camaros, every one of them Danny had had over the years, but this… this was unexpected. He laughed, delighted. And as he headed inside Steve was already looking forward to a drive, putting Danny’s new car through its paces. As he shut the front door behind him, Steve belatedly realized he hadn’t brought anything with him except his backpack. He dropped it and the keys on the table near the door as he stood there, just looking around and breathing deep. On the couch, in his favorite spot, Eddie lifted his head, his ears perking up. Steve went over and knelt in front of him. “Hey, Eddie,” he murmured, his throat tight as he reached out to scratch around Eddie’s ears. “I’m home, buddy.” 

Eddie’s tail thumped in greeting but he didn’t cave into the soft scratches, not at first. “Guess you’re mad at me, too, huh?” Steve murmured. “I’m sorry, boy. I won’t leave you for so long again.” He got both hands working then, scratching and stroking, and when Eddie butted his head against Steve’s hand with a sound that was very much like one of Danny’s annoyed snorts, Steve grinned. “Such a good boy. Where’s Danno, huh?” The house was quiet, no sign of his partner. Eddie didn’t seem forthcoming on the question, so Steve gave him a final pat and got back up slowly. 

Then he saw the post-it note on the back of the recliner. Steve went over and looked down at it. A heart, with an arrow beneath it pointing toward the back of the house. He plucked it off the leather and held it in his hand as he walked toward the glass door out to the lanai, where he saw a similar yellow square at about Danny’s eye level. _Getting warmer,_ it read. Another heart was sketched below those two words. 

Steve kicked off his slippahs and then reached up to pull that note off the door, his hands shaking a little. He’d showered and put on the nicest clothes he’d had, some jeans and a plaid button-down that Danny had commented once that he liked, and which had found its way into one of his care packages. But as he stepped out the door Steve felt unaccountably nervous.

No more notes to follow; he wouldn’t need them, anyway, with the sight before him as he crossed the yard. Their beach, a blanket spread out with a cooler next to it. Some tiki torches ready to light as soon as the sun faded. And Danny, barefoot, in jeans and an untucked blue button-down shirt, sleeves and pant legs rolled up. 

“I was beginning to wonder what was taking you so long,” Danny said. 

“Tani’s car only goes so fast,” Steve cracked as he came to a stop in front of his partner and dug his toes into the sand. “You should’ve sent them in yours.” 

“Oh, you saw that, did you?” Danny was grinning at him now. 

Steve laughed. “The Hellcat parked next to my truck? Yeah, that was kind of hard to miss, Danno.”

“I thought so. And I didn’t send them because nobody else has driven that car yet, but me.” Then Danny shrugged. “I figure you get first dibs. Eventually.” 

“I hope so,” Steve told him. Then he sobered. “Before… did you mean traffic tonight, or how long it took me to get back home in general?” 

Danny made a face like he was considering the question. “Both.” 

Steve grinned. “Well, tonight, I had to say hello to Eddie.” He inched closer.

“I hope you didn’t kiss him with that mouth,” Danny informed him. “Unless you also stopped to wash your face and brush your teeth.”

“Nah, I’m still in the doghouse.” Steve took another step closer, his eyes locked on Danny’s. “With him, at least.”

“You’re gonna have to work for his forgiveness,” Danny informed him. “Eddie, he kept waiting for you to come back, then moped around here when you didn’t.” 

“What about yours?” Steve couldn’t help the way he drank in Danny’s appearance. Video calls were just not the same. Danny’s hair had grown, too; it wasn’t quite the fade he’d clung to for years, but it wasn’t shaved as close as it had been, either. He was more comfortable in his skin than he’d been the last day they’d been here on this beach, his color far better. No cane in sight. 

“Eh,” Danny said. He crossed his arms over his chest. “You always had mine.” 

“Did I?” 

There were things he wanted to say about that, things he wanted to say about how he suspected Eddie wasn’t the only one here who’d moped about his absence. But then he thought about those first tentative conversations when he was in Jersey. Maybe he’d been saying some of those things all along, he reflected. They’d done a lot of talking over the past few weeks. Cleared a lot of air, a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Without the distraction of being in each other’s space, being able to smell and taste and touch, they’d found the way back to each other. 

Steve watched as Danny took a deep breath, then finally he closed that remaining distance and pulled him into a hug. 

His head bowed and he buried his face in Danny’s hair. Steve’s hands were still shaking, and he clutched the notes tight in one fist as he wrapped his arms around Danny and let out a breath. God, how he’d missed this. The warm, solid weight of Danny in his arms, the scent of his cologne and the way he fit against his body. 

“I’m home, Danno,” he murmured. 

“It’s about goddamn time,” Danny retorted, but the bite of the words was muffled against Steve’s shirt. 

Steve brushed his lips against Danny’s temple. “I’m sorry it took me so long,” he whispered again. "And I don't just mean the road trip." Then he kissed Danny’s brow. One hand slid up to cradle Danny’s jaw, the other still carefully wrapped around him as Steve took his time relearning the lines of Danny’s face with those soft, gentle touches. He nudged Danny’s face up, thumb stroking his cheek as their eyes met. 

“When you didn’t come to the hotel, I was worried. Until Tani and Junior explained.” 

Danny snorted, but he rubbed his cheek against Steve’s hand. “I thought about it. And when this shit’s over and travel’s safe again, I do want to spend some quality time locked in a hotel room with you, babe.” Those blue eyes sparkled with humor, but the need in them was clear, and Steve felt himself drawn in. “This just… felt right,” Danny murmured as their lips met. 

“Feels right to me, too,” Steve said between kisses. The sound of the waves, the sand beneath their feet, and Danny, whole and healthy and _his_. It made sense. 

He was breathless when he finally pulled back just far enough to touch their foreheads together. Steve licked his lips, tasting Danny, and groaned softly. “I missed you, ku’uipo.” 

Danny reached up to stroke Steve’s cheek, then slid his hand up into his hair to tug Steve down to his mouth again. Steve was fairly sure they could’ve stayed there kissing all night, just like that, but for the loud growl of his stomach a moment later. Danny snorted, then laughed. 

“Guess I’m hungry for food, too,” Steve admitted sheepishly.

“You don’t say,” Danny retorted. He pulled back but caught Steve’s hand in his. “C’mon, babe, let’s get you fed so we can get back to that.” He paused when Steve didn’t unclench his fist. “Babe, what you got here?” Danny held Steve’s wrist gently as he prized his fingers open. When he plucked the crumpled post-it notes from Steve’s grasp, he looked up. And huffed, but his expression was soft. “Sap.” 

“ _Your_ sap,” Steve pointed out. He took the notes back and tucked them into his pocket for safekeeping and then twined his fingers with Danny’s. 

Steve held on as Danny lowered himself to the blanket, then sank down beside him as Danny opened the cooler. “I know you’re tired of hotel food and peanut butter sandwiches, and I hope to hell you’re tired of MREs.” 

Steve laughed. “Pretty tired, yeah.” He watched as Danny lifted out a container and pulled off the lid. He groaned. “Is that--” 

“Best sushi on the island,” Danny confirmed. “I was gonna make you lasagna, but I figured Ma stuffed you full of it before you left. And then I thought pancakes--”

“I do love your pancakes.” Steve watched as Danny put the container down and then flipped the cooler open again to pull out two ice-cold Longboards. 

“You get pancakes for breakfast, then,” Danny said as Steve took the bottles and opened them, then handed him one. “I just figured, you know, the way things seemed to be going, we might get a little… distracted. This is easier to eat.” Once Steve was settled Danny picked up a pair of chopsticks and lifted a wobbly hurricane roll up to Steve's mouth, getting it in there but barely as bits of spicy soft shelled crab fell off onto his lap. "Never have gotten the hang of these things," Danny mumbled, dropping them to the side. 

Steve smiled at him, his eyes filled with that grumpy face that he'd missed so much. "Don't worry about that, Danno," he told him. Steve reached for a spicy tuna roll, one of Danny's favorites, holding it up in front of it. "They’re supposed to be eaten with the fingers anyway," he told him, pushing it carefully into Danny's open mouth. His finger dragged along the bottom of Danny's bottom lip, their eyes locked as Danny chewed slowly. "You like that?" Steve asked. 

Danny nodded, reaching down to pick up another of Steve's rolls. "The sushi's good." He offered the bite to Steve. "The company's better." They slowly fed each other, laughing when some bit of food fell out of their fingers, picking up bits of fish and tempura and washing it all down with their beer. No work talk, no mentions of their friends and family, who they both loved but they both knew right now was about them, and they sat on that blanket, an island on an island, like they were the only two people in the world. 

"Last one," Steve said, holding it up between them. Danny moved in closer, mouth open to catch it, but grinned when he saw Steve lower it, leaning forward himself to meet Danny, their faces so close they almost touched. All he saw was Danny's face - the crinkled smiling blue eyes, the way the setting sun hit his golden hair, bits of gray in his stubble. Then he moved forward again, finding Danny's mouth with his own and then it was, at last, just them.

"Upstairs?" Danny asked, following Steve's lead as Steve stood and rolled up the blanket and lay it in one of the beach chairs.

Steve nodded. "Yeah," he murmured, reaching for Danny's hand, the two men walking back up toward the house hand in hand. Every few steps Steve stopped to pull Danny in for a kiss, and halfway up the stairs Danny pressed Steve against the wall and kissed him, soft and deep, his hands sliding under Steve's shirt. Steve began unbuttoning Danny's shirt, pulling it back over his shoulders and dropping it on the floor. It was followed quickly by Steve's t-shirt. 

Seconds later, they were in Steve's bedroom. Pants and boxers joined their shirts on the floor and soon they were on Steve's bed. Danny straddled Steve's legs, and Steve took a moment to reach up, his fingertips gentle as he traced those fading bruises along Danny’s side. Then Steve sat up so he could see Danny's face. He wrapped his arms around Danny, kissing his shoulder, burying his head in Danny's neck. 

"Love you, dollface." Steve heard the words, spoken soft in his ear and he smiled and pulled back to meet those bright blue eyes, his fingers tracing along that new scar on Danny’s chest. He knew what Danny was doing, brave and strong, offering his heart to Steve again, just as he'd done once before. 

This time, Steve didn't hesitate. "And I love you, ku'uipo. I love you so much." He saw that light in Danny's eyes, shining with love and need. "Never letting you go again."

Danny smiled, and Steve knew he would do whatever it took to see that unexpectedly sweet smile every morning and every night. "Now tell me what I can do for you tonight, babe," Danny murmured, nuzzling Steve's jaw before catching his mouth again for another soft kiss. "Anything you want, you can have it."

A soft, needy sound slipped from him as they kissed, muffled between them. "Need you to fuck me," Steve whispered. "Need to feel you marking me. Claiming me." The emotion fueling the words shouldn't have surprised him, but somehow it did. Less surprising was the fact that the words came easily. "Need you so much."

The way Steve asked to be taken, for Danny to claim him - he could see it made Danny's breath catch, his eyes going dark with hunger and need. "Yeah," Danny nodded as they kissed. "Oh God, yes." More kisses, endless kisses. "Missed this. Missed you," Danny murmured, closing his eyes and Steve realized that Danny meant more than the last two months. They'd lost two years, maybe even more years that they could've been more to each other, years that their relationship could have grown and blossomed; or it could have fallen victim to Steve's troubles with Joe and his mother, his need to go off and solve his problems alone. 

Danny didn't seem worried about any of that right now. Steve's fingers traced along Danny' back, those strong muscles, that soft, fuzzy body hair tickling his fingertips as Danny bent his head and began his slow worship of Steve's body. "Lay down, babe. Let me touch you."

They had all night.

Later, Steve lay on his back, his skin cooling as the sweat evaporated. Danny tucked into his side perfectly, his fingers tracing the patterns on Steve's tattoos. He felt a soft kiss on his shoulder and he turned toward Danny, pulling him even closer. "You good, ku'uipo?"

"I'm good," Danny murmured, tilting his head up and catching Steve's mouth in a soft kiss. "I'm great."

How could he have ever pushed this away. "So, first date. Where should we go?" Steve asked, his fingers playing with Danny's messy hair. He laughed at the mild irritation on Danny's face, offering another kiss in apology. 

Danny smiled at that soft kiss. "Steven, I had your dick in my mouth, like, two hours ago. We're way past first date talk," he said, their legs tangling as he spoke.

Yes, they were. One of Steve's hands rested on Danny's hip. "Then is it too soon to ask you to move in with me, for real?"

Danny's smile faded just a fraction, and he didn't answer right away. "You sure you want that?" he asked, and Steve hated the hesitation in Danny's voice, knowing that he was responsible.

"I know you are never sleeping on the sofa ever again," Steve told him, one hand cradling Danny's face. "And not in Junior’s room, either. I love you, Danny. I know what I want now." A home, a family, those strong arms around him each night as he fell asleep, that sweet smile waking him up each morning. 

That was his idea of peace.


	17. Epilogue

Epilogue

[August 2021]

_If the last year has taught us anything, it is that nothing is more important than family. Whether it's the family that you're born in to or the one that you choose for yourself, it's important to let them know how you feel about them._

"Hey." Steve looked up from his notes to see Danny standing next to him, holding his reading glasses. "Looking for these?" Danny asked, knowingly.

Steve took them with a resigned look, then slipped them on and glanced down at the paper. "Better," he admitted. "Thanks," he added, leaning in and kissing Danny on the forehead. "You ready?" he asked, wondering why he felt nervous. It was just their family that they were standing in front of today. 

But family that they hadn't seen in so long. Months and months of staying home and avoiding travel, avoiding large crowds even when others seemed to be loosening up their restrictions. Finally when it felt like they could travel safely, the invitations had been sent out and now family and friends were all gathering on the beach of their backyard. Waiting for them. "I am," Danny answered confidently. "You're the one giving the big speech." He lifted his head for a kiss and Steve obliged, reaching down and straightening the collar of Danny's crisp white shirt. "Let's go."

They headed downstairs, Danny reached the lanai door, opening it for the both of them. Steve lifted Danny's hand, the one with the wide gold band, to his lips. "Happy anniversary, ku'uipo."

Almost everyone had made it to Honolulu the day before and had gotten to know each other over dinner at a local restaurant. But today the party was at Steve and Danny's house, and it was already well underway from the sounds of it as they walked back outside. Eddie had already made himself at home at the outdoor grill, talking animatedly with Chin and Junior about his youthful days spent in San Francisco. "There was this bar there that I remember, one that me and my buddies would go there sometimes and flirt with all the hippie girls with the flowers in their hair." 

Down on the beach, Clara was picking up seashells with Charlie, Sara, and Joanie, carefully collecting each one that they brought her. Mary and Tani sat on the lanai, laughing at a joke that Renee just finished telling. 

Grace came out with a pitcher of lemonade and filled everyone's glasses, stopping to give Danny a kiss on the cheek. "Hey Danno," she said warmly. "You look nice today."

"Thanks, Monkey." Danny turned to Steve. "I'll be back in a bit, babe," and headed off in the direction of the beach. 

Then it was time for Steve's kiss from Grace. "You look good too, Step-Steve. My mom said to tell you hi," she told him. "And congrats." 

Steve nodded and laughed, slinging an arm around her and giving her a warm hug. "Give her my best." She looked so grown up today, and he had to remind himself that she'd turned twenty last month. Unbelievable. "So, you ready to head back to school?" he asked. "Fall quarter starts pretty soon."

"I am," Grace told him, looking happy. "It wasn't terrible, being home again and doing my classes online but," she shrugged. "I didn't feel much like I was in college, you know? And... I think I sort of miss Chicago." 

"That's not all you miss," Steve told her, seeing her flush pink and narrow her eyes at him before she went off to make the rounds with her lemonade pitcher. Steve was about to join Clara on the beach with the kids when he felt a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. "Hey, Lou," he said, turning toward his friend. "What's up?"

"Just wanted to say that this was a good idea, bringing everyone together again," Lou told him. "It's been too damn long since I've seen some of these faces." 

"I guess we all sorta learned a lesson," Steve told him, watching as Danny walked toward Kono, Quinn, and Laurie, walking along the beach back toward the house with Eddie running between them, wagging his tail. "Ohana, it just doesn't happen. We gotta keep in touch. Can't just let people leave and not come back." 

"True words, brother." They talked for a few more minutes and then the doorbell rang. Lou offered to go get it. "You go mingle with the in-laws, McGarrett," he grinned, and Steve thanked him and headed over to see how things were going on the grill. 

“You should’ve seen him when we were helping out at the station,” Eddie was telling Chin as they poked at the coals on the grill. “Steve would’ve made a hell of a firefighter, if the Navy hadn’t got hold of him first.” 

"Look who made it," Lou called out, followed by Cole and a lovely young woman holding his hand, who he introduced as Kailani. Steve excused himself from the conversation and went to go greet their new guest. "Hey, Danno!" 

When Steve called, Danny looked up and jogged over to where Steve was standing. "Hey, what's up?" he said, then turning to Cole and his girlfriend. "Hello there."

"This is my husband, Danny," Steve said, putting his arm around Danny. "Welcome to our house. Please, make yourself at home." Lou led Cole and Kailani out onto the patio to meet the rest of the team. 

Danny's arms slid around Steve, his fingers hooking around Steve's belt loops. "You like saying that, don't you?" he asked, lifting his face up for a kiss, which Steve obliged. 

"I do," Steve told him. One hand reached over and smoothed a stray hair on his head. "You ever wish we'd waited and had a big wedding with everyone?" he asked. 

Danny looked out the window to the lanai, his smile widening. "Look at that, dollface. We got everyone here now. Everyone is safe, they're healthy. We came through it in one piece." Turning toward Steve again, he leaned in for one more kiss. "I've never been happier in my life."

There were catcalls and whistles outside, and when Steve looked up again, Kono and Mary were right outside the door, grinning from ear to ear. “Don’t stop on our account,” Kono said as he pushed the door open. 

One hand was still firmly laced with Danny’s as they walked back outside. “No privacy,” Steve said, shaking his head. 

Kono snorted. “Please, you invited us. You knew what you were getting, boss.” She and Mary each took a free hand and towed Steve and Danny out toward the beach, where he saw everyone was congregating. 

“What is this?” Danny asked. Steve exchanged a look with him, both of them bemused. 

Then he saw Grace with her phone, taking pictures of her grandparents. “Hurry up, fellas,” Eddie called. “That grill’s just about ready to go.” 

Clara elbowed him in the side. “The grill can wait, Edward.” Then she turned to Danny and Steve. “I didn’t get to come to the wedding, boys, but we’re doing pictures. Come on over here. Grace, can you get everyone in the shot?” she asked. 

He saw it now, everyone organizing themselves for a group picture. Steve went over and slid his arm around her shoulders. “We want Gracie in the picture, too. Right, Danno?” 

Kailani stepped up next to Grace. “I got it. Go on, your dad’s right.” She beamed at all of them. “Everyone ready?” Steve heard the shuffling behind them, Lou directing traffic as they all found their places. “Looking good. Commander McGarrett, you’re gonna have to duck a little bit.” 

Danny snorted next to him. “That’s right, dollface. Get down here,” he said, tugging Steve down into a kiss. 

Judging by the whoops and cheers that went up, it was going to be a hell of a shot.


End file.
